Paint the School Red and Black
by EternalSpiderLily
Summary: High school fic with Akatsuki and OCs. Life at Spruce Creek isn't exactly what you'd call "FUN" for Savannah Hope. That is, till the LEAF program came to town. She loved the transfer students, except for one who decided to ruin her life. Now it's up to her crazy friends, some even crazier ninjas, and a certain Akatsuki member to makes things right again. OCxDeidara
1. New Semester, Students, and Shit To Face

**A/N- Hello! Welcome to a typical Naruto high school fic involving action, humor, romance, and teenage DRAMA! If this does not interest you, please feel free to leave now before you are sadly dissapointed. (That's right haters, just keep walking, nothing for you to see here :P) This is my first major fanfic, and it should run around 25-30 chapters. Possibly more! I promise it gets better after the incredibly long explanation in the first chapter. YES, there will be at least three OC X Naruto character pairings. Once again, if you have a PROBLEM with that... *points to door* door's right there. Now, for everybody else, enjoy! :D**

* * *

"Okay, so, this is the best dream ever," I think to myself as I sit on the deck of a cruise ship, enjoying the warm tropical sun and the cool sea breeze, while sipping on a Hawaiian ice that's just been handed to me by Johnny Depp. "Yep, this is pure, sweet, unadulterated happiness!" I affirm to myself by savoring another taste of my pina collada and pink bubblegum flavored magic ice in a cup.

"I just pray I don't wake up ANYTIME soo…"

My thought was cut off by the blaring of one of my favorite Japanese songs over my iHome alarm clock's insanely loud speaker system, promising me that YES this was JUST a dream, and the fact that it's Monday at 6:00 in the morning means I need to get my ass out of bed NOW, or I'll end up fashionably late on my first day back to school after Winter Break.

_ "You know the closer you get to something…"_

"…_the tougher it is to see it,"_ I jump into singing along with the English chorus.

_"And I'll never take it for granted…"_

"_LET'S GO!"_ I shout the last line of the song as my battle cry and inspiration to spring out of bed (almost banging my head on my dresser and then tripping over my own two feet in the half second long process), then running to the bathroom to pee and put my clothes on. But when I sit down to take a whiz, I realize something:

"This was the first night in the past three months that I didn't have The Nightmare."

I restated my thought out loud, my amazed voice echoing off the bathroom walls clearing my tired head of that early rising kind of daze and helping it sink in.

There. was. no. nightmare.

"Alright! NO nightmare AND Johnny Depp? Fucking SWEET!" Punching the air with victory and standing up, I realized something else as well.

"Maybe the new semester could be a new start for me…and maybe I can FINALLY put that darkness behind me."

This good advice and much more like it, such as "Don't fail Chemistry this last half," and "Maybe I could TRY going to the JCC again," and "I should make my friends another Fucking Cookie!" is the constant babble in my mind as I walk over and look in the mirror.

Then, I catch what I thought second to last, and stare deeply into the eyes of my refection.

"NO," I reprimand myself in the mirror. "What are you thinking? You and I both know setting one foot in that room would be our funeral…"

Her haunted looking hazel eyes are still staring into mine, so I ignore the girl in the mirror who looks just as scarred as I feel inside, and quickly ready myself to walk back into the wonderful chaos my high school life in 10th grade has become. I replace my black satin nightgown with a black sports bra, a black and red plaid dress that goes down to just above my knees with black lace on the bottom, a pair of black leggings (because my school is crawling with perverts who would look under there if I didn't), and, you guessed the color!, BLACK socks with a pair of knee high BLACK boots over them. See a pattern here?

Deciding also to accessorize a bit, I grab a pair of black fingerless gloves, each with two red bows connected by a chain with a heart attached to it. Slipping them on, I then choose a set of earrings that look like silver webs with ruby red spiders sitting in the middle, and put those on too. Finally, I yank open my jewelry box and snatch my favorite hairbow made of black lace with a skeleton in the middle, and slide it over the left side of my head over a part of my slightly longer than waist length dark brown straight hair, which I then proceed to brush. Finishing up, I put the brush down and glance myself over in the mirror. "I look badass and kawaii desu, as per usual," I affirm inside my head, just like before every other school day.

But, once again, am caught by something that just now surfaces from the unconscious land of my crazy and gothic thoughts that was tugging at the back of my mind since I started getting dressed. "This is what I was wearing on THAT day." I push the sudden realization away, just like I wish I could with every other memory of that horrible experience.

So, to cheer myself up, I do some more one sided conversing with the girl staring at me who's going to play the same game I have to as she acts like she's not a victim.

"Who the fuck CARES what you're wearing? You look EPIC, and amazing, and you have every right to! So get out there and kick some ass, girl!"

At just about this point, I turn around to find my mom standing there, staring at me, giving me her universal "I-know-you're-not-trying-to,-but-you're-freaking-me-the-fuck-out-by-talking-to-yourself" look.

Whoops. Didn't think she'd be up this early.

"You ready there, Mrs. Narcissist? Or do I have to drag your ass away from your god-damned reflection?"

It wasn't quite as mean as it sounds, considering she said it with a big ole' grin in a voice dripping with kind sarcasm. I decided to fuck with her a bit by pretending to blow myself a kiss and wave goodbye to that other girl who looked just as stupid as I'm sure I do now, turning back to see that her grin had gotten wider, and for the first time since that day, matched the one that I was suddenly wearing again.

I love my mom. I really do. As lame as that might sound coming from a 16 year old starting her second semester of 10th grade. But it's exactly BECAUSE I care about her that I never told ANYBODY about what happened that day…especially her. No one can EVER find out…except that girl in the mirror. I blew a kiss to her because I know she's broken inside…just like me.

* * *

So, now that we're in the car on the way to my school and god-knows what's waiting for me when I get there, I suppose I owe you at least a little bit more of an explanation! My name is Savannah Hope. I'm that girl who dresses in all black and gothic clothes, sits in the emo corner of every classroom, and talks to no one. At least…that's who I was in 9th grade. That was before the transfer students came. But more on them later!

That was ALSO before I met Taylor and Champayine at the very end of 9th grade, the ONLY two people I actually cared about before the transfers came. But, more on them later!

But, in all seriousness, I need to clarify to you just who these kids are. So, let's talk school. And no, I won't change the subject this time. Promise. I live in a dinky little town near Daytona Beach called Port Orange. If you have heard of neither of these places, more power to you! You're one of the lucky ones not trapped in this town of assholes and hypocrites.

I attend the school that is this town's oh so precious "pride and joy," Spruce Creek, which everybody thinks is some kind of glorious, outstanding, "world famous" high school, meant to be an example to encourage and inspire countless people around the planet.

Back in freshman year, I thought that this was all the biggest load of bullshit that you could possibly serve on a golden platter. The teachers were either REALLY amazing, which was sadly the distinct minority at the time, or, the 99% of assholes they hired out of god-knows-where to torment us, embarrass us, and not teach us CRAP. YAY.

Also, 99% of the school population in general were assholes: Douchebag jocks (well…there's still some of those), bitchy little sluts (still got some of those too), and then…there were the IB kids. And yes, we still have quite a few of those now, but the transfers enrolled in the IB program are cool for the most part.

They're smart, but not in the same "I'm-gonna-look-down-my-nose-at-you-like-shit-on-my-shoe-cause'-I'm-just-such-a-fucking-little-genius" kind of way.

They're smart in a quiet, calculating, deadly kind of way. More like "I-could-find-sixty-different-ways-to-kill-you-right-now-and-completely-get-away-with-it-but-instead-I-choose-to-mercifully-let-you-live" kind of way.

I hated being in the program before they came. Hated it with a burning, fiery, motherfucking PASSION. RAWR. I still hate it now, but just because I'm failing the extremely hard classes, and also cause', well…half the time, I'm just too lazy to do the damn work! Hahaha!

I've already decided to drop into just AP classes and other electives next year, considering there's pretty much NO busywork, and cause' there's virtually NO stress. Plus, the kids in those classes are HILARIOUS.

There's this one, or I should say TWO guys in my 6th period who are just so fucking random. One calls everybody Jerry, and the other one's always screaming DATEBAYO and talking about ramen. Don't worry, you'll meet them later.

So. Now we've reached the question of the students that turned the Creek upside down, and who made going to school a somewhat enjoyable thing again. I say somewhat because…well…not all of them are good. But still! These kids are incredible! Believe it! (Oh god, guess they really are rubbing off on me…heheh. They're pretty awesome.)

It was at the end of 9th grade, around when I met Taylor and Champayine, that the school announced a sudden unexpected decision (sounding like someone pretty important had decided to pull some strings, if you know what I mean): There was going to be a major high school foreign exchange student program implemented next year, called LEAF. I don't think it stands for anything…it's more like a codename for a secret project or mission or something.

Anyway, the goal of the program was to integrate an entire school of Japanese students from a place called Konoha into Creek, in order for them to spend one year immersed in our Western culture and education system. Don't ask me why.

Supposedly back in the Country of Fire where they come from they were being trained as ninjas, but one day the principal of their school (or whoever the hell's in charge over there) suddenly decided they needed a more broad education in the useless crap we learn over here versus just their totally badass ninjutsu and taijutsu training.

So, they did some researching, and what did they find? The propaganda Creek spits out seemingly everywhere in order to brainwash all who read it into thinking that it's some damned "super school" that can and will do all it can to help it's students become both happy and successful.

What a load of crap…yet, this person (I think her name's Tsunade) jumped at the chance to ship her kids off to Creek, "where Hawks soar." Poor woman. She had no idea of the useless hellhole she was sending them off to.

ANYWAY, more explanation: This program has been set up into two phases. The first, already implemented at the very beginning of this year, was designed to send us the primary half of Konoha's students, simply called Group A. There's an inside joke that Group A is the "seme" group because the kids who came over first were apparently "more aggressive" in their desire to be transferred here (and for the record, my friends came up with that, NOT ME).

Although the second half comes in today because they don't have a choice, I've heard that ALL the students are excited to come here. Group B was just…more toned down and laid back in their excitement. Which kinda sounds to me like these are the kids who didn't really give a fuck either way, but, hey, they'll be here today whether they like it or not. But they should. Even I like that school now, so why won't they?

* * *

The line of cars waiting to enter the school is normally long. But today, it is INSANELY long, with about twice as many cars. Which gave me the excuse to just explain all that crap to you. The line is just barely inching forward every few minutes (good thing I got up early), my mom is starting to yell some not very nice things at the traffic guard, and I'm bored…so, I find my mind wandering about what exactly the second phase of the LEAF program involves.

Besides just Group B coming in, out principal Doctor Sparger promised us that there were some "surprises" built into the second part of the project. Huh. Maybe that explains all these damn cars backed up for what feels like a mile.

After about 15-20 minutes of crawling towards the school at a painfully slow rate, we finally turn into the drop off loop. As we wait for the last of the cars in front of us to move up so I can GET OUT already, I text Taylor and Champ and tell them I'm at school.

_"Hey, I'm here. We meeting at the usual spot?"_

Taylor: _"yea, we're already at ur locker"_

Champ: _"savannah-chan, hurry up and get here, there's big news!"_

Big news? This catches me off guard a bit. Wait…does this have something to do with the "surprises" the principal warned us about? Probably. Oh god, do I even want to know? I realize I have to go find out whether I like it or not as we pull up and stop in front of the double doors of one of the east entrances to Creek...the same one I walked into on that day and every one since then.

"NO! Thoughts of that are EXACTLY what I don't need right now! OR EVER!" I shout at myself inside my head before I get out.

Apparently, at least a little of my inner anguish is showing on my face as I exit the car and turn to close the door when my mom looks at me and says, with a sympathetic look on her face, "Honey…you'll be fine this time around. I can tell."

A normal teenager would have just growled "Whatever" and slammed the door. I smiled at her, though it didn't reach my eyes like earlier, and just quietly replied "I know, mom. I have to be."

Then, softly closing the door and turning to face the hall where my friends were waiting to tell me about all the shit soon to go down (the good kind), I begin my walk towards whatever the hell's waiting inside.

* * *

**A/N- Hope you enjoyed! :D And don't worry, Savannah's inner turmoil that's haunting her will be revealed bit by bit. It's the major suspense of the fanfic, so I can't afford to give it away TOO quickly. But I shall give you one hint!: Who else would be cruel enough to scar a 16 year old girl for life? Even that be saying too much, but still! XD **

**The Akatsuki, Tsunade, Neji, and Savannah's friends come in next chapter, so look forward to that! You can expect updates during weekends and the summer at random intervals, but I PROMISE to update again relatively soon between chapters!**


	2. Meet My Insane Friends!

**A/N- Hi again! *waves* Welcome to Chapter 2! If you are reading this, then you either skipped Chapter 1 (you ass, don't be lazy and go read the beginning :P), or you survived the boring introduction and have returned for the HUMOR, ACTION, and ROMANCE that starts in this chapter! YAYZ! This fanfic has completely taken over every waking moment of my life, and I couldn't be happier. I plan on making this thing SUPER long, and now that it's SUMMER (WOOT! XD), expect frequent updates at completely random times! I've already written about three-fourths of Chapter 3 when Savannah meets the Akatsuki, and I've planned a little contest based on one of the scenes in it. It involves fanart, and hey, speaking of which, can I just go ahead and beg for both that and reviews? If you guys love me, then you'll either draw me something or say something nice. :3 Anyways, enjoy Chapter 2!**

* * *

Walking towards the door, I reflect on both what my mom just told me and the fact that I didn't have The Nightmare this morning. I'm feeling surprisingly optimistic as I push open the door…and am greeted with a glomp from my friend Champayine that completely catches me off guard (though I could have very clearly seen her through the freaking GLASS DOORS had I not been so zoned out), sending us both tumbling to the ground.

"Savannah-chan, Savannah-chan, Savannah-chan! There's big news!" Champ shouts at me with a huge grin on her face and a semi-crazy look in her eyes.

"Champayine, Champayine, Champayine! Let me guess," I excitedly reply, copying her upbeat "I-nor-any-other-human-should-be-this-hyper-at-6:30-in-the-morning" mood that she seems to be in. "You and Neji-kun are getting MARRIED," I tease her as she stands back up and offers me her hand so I can get off of the damn ground, startling her with my sudden reference to her ninja boyfriend who all of my friends and I know is MADLY in love with her (and who she, of course, is crazy about in return).

She quickly pulls me up and then giggles, giving me an adorable look that implies that was right, though not what she plans on telling me with Taylor. I truthfully wouldn't doubt if they really were getting married. The two barely ever leave each others' sides. They've only known each other since August, but any person would think it's been years watching them. And they're completely dedicated to their relationship in the long run also, which is far too rare these days.

"Alright, alright," I say, trying to get back on track to the whole mysterious "BIG NEWS" crap. "What is this NEWS you speak of?" I ask in a really goofy "attempting-to-half-ass-being-serious-voice" voice.

She doesn't answer, instead grabbing my arm and dragging me through the door and down the hallway to my locker, where my friend Taylor stands waiting. I happily run up with Champ to greet her, except before I can open my mouth to say hi, I notice that she's not even looking at us. In fact, she's staring open-mouthed at something in the main office, which, yes, happens to be right in front of my locker. "Lucky" me, right? At least it's also close to the bus loop so I can get home quick.

"Taylor, what's up…?" I start to ask, but am cut off by her practically screaming at me to "Look at !" in a voice that sounded half ecstatic and half terrified. Champ breaks out grinning, like she knows EXACTLY what the FUCK is going on here. Both of us turn to look in the office, and only then do I realize that there's been a background noise of loud one-sided arguing this whole time, right when I see a busty, blond, EXTREMELY angry looking older woman yelling at our principal.

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I'M READING THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS! THEY'RE MY STUDENTS, AND IT'S MY VOICE THEY WANT TO HEAR ON THEIR FIRST DAY!"

"Ma'am, I would appreciate it if you would calm down…"

"NO, I WILL NOT!"

"…But reading the announcements isn't a part of your job…"

"WELL, IT IS NOW! WHERE'S THE DAMN MIC?"

At this point, she stomps off in quest of the school's PA system, and I can SWEAR I hear her scream something else about getting some more sake as I stand there open mouthed just like Taylor still is. Damn. Shit is going DOWN today! I close my mouth just long enough to think of what to say, which only takes about two seconds.

"What…the FUCK…just happened here?" Taylor starts babbling about the parts that I missed as soon as I ask.

"HOLY SHIT, Savannah, it was amazing! That woman was…"

"Tsunade?" I ask, cutting her off.

"Yeah…how did you know…?"

"MY students? Who else could it be? And what did she mean about reading the announcements as part of her job?"

Taylor's excitement turns to slight annoyance at me not listening in the first place when she was trying to tell me.

"As I WAS SAYING, that woman is Tsunade, the big director of the LEAF program. She's in charge of the awesome transfer students, AND…" she cuts herself off, withholding the "BIG SECRET" in order to torment my already confused head. Champ, thankfully, blurts out the answer before I have to drag it out of Taylor.

"…SHE'S OUR NEW VICE-PRINCIPAL!"

Whoa. Didn't see that coming.

"So…" I press them to tell me more, "…that's the "big news"?"

Champ takes the bait, considering Taylor still seems mad about me cutting off HER explanation.

"Oh no! That's just a PART of the big news! But if you wait a minute here, you can hear it from her for yourself," she said, gesturing to the depths of the office into which Tsunade disappeared on the hunt for that mic.

Suddenly, right after Champ had JUST said that, we hear a click over the intercom system, some shuffling of papers, and then, yep, sure enough, a certain familiar yet MUCH less angry voice start addressing the whole school in a much more diplomatic manner than it had just used against our principal.

"_Good morning, students of the LEAF program! And a big welcome to our new arrivals, the Group B transfer students! For those of you just getting here, come see me here in the main office if you have not already gotten your final schedules. I hope that you all enjoy the rest of the school year as much as the Group A students have been. However, I also must welcome the unexpected group C applicants, who seem to have found some…loopholes, if you will, in our program. Also, I must warn the faculty, the Group C students are…unique. Please keep this in mind when interacting with them. Finally, another note to our new staff: we hope that you can do a better job than the LAST ones who filled your positions. Meaning that if you screw up, YOU'RE FIRED! Thank you for your attention…what?"_ she trailed off, listening to someone saying something on her end_. "…Do I HAVE to say that cheesy crap? Okay, fine! And REMEMBER,"_ she said through gritted teeth, _"…it's a great day to be a hawk. BUT,"_ she cut in to the usual ending line with her own, _"IT'S AN EVEN BETTER DAY TO BE A SHINOBI!"_

Upon finishing her revised (and in my opinion IMPROVED) version of the school motto, cheers and shouts and applause suddenly came from all directions. And I think I heard a pair of idiots scream "JERRY, YOU GO GIRL!" and "BELIEVE IT! DATEBAYO!" somewhere off in the distance of another hallway.

* * *

Well, I guess Champ was wrong, because instead of feeling like all has magically been explained, I feel like a complete brain dead retard because YES, Tsunade just said all that, but WHAT THE FUCK does all of it MEAN? "Group C?" "New staff?" And what was with that "warning" about these mysterious transfers being "unique"? Am I the only one here who has NO IDEA what's going on?

I look to see if the others are just as lost as I feel, but, just like before, Taylor is too busy staring at something, and wait…Champ is too now? What's over there?...oh my god.

The looks on our faces must range from awe, to amazement, to shock, because I'm pretty sure mine alone is registering all three right now. Coming through the main doors of the school is one of the weirdest, slightly disturbing, and…honestly, one of the most badass groups of transfer students I've seen yet (and that's saying something, considering all the other LEAF students).

There are about eight of them, all older guys, dressed in black cloaks with red clouds on them. I'm not sure if they're a gang, cult, club, or whatever, but these are some of the things that stick out at me:

1. There's a guy with a giant scythe cursing loudly and yelling about some Jashin guy or something. (Seriously? He just WALKS IN carrying that thing? How the HELL does nobody notice this?)

2. There's a plant dude. A PLANT. WTF…

3. There's an emo looking guy who reminds me of someone I hate OH so dearly…wonder if they're related…

4. Is that a…MOTHERFUCKING SHARK? Alright, seriously awesome, but what the-

My internal babble and random observations about these guys is cut off suddenly, due to me being…distracted, in a way that I'm not exactly proud of.

"_Oh my god…"_ I think to myself as I single out yet another member of the group, _"…that is the hottest man I have __ever seen.__"_ (Alright, you can laugh, but COME ON. Like we ALL haven't had a moment like this?) I blush and instantly feel guilty and STUPID AS HELL for having a thought like this. He's got long blond hair tied back in a high ponytail with bangs that cover up his left eye completely, and he's talking and laughing with some ginger kid (*snrk* GINGERS HAVE NO SOULS). His one eye that I can see is a really striking blue, and his smile is incredibly charismatic and sexy…

I mentally slap myself like fifty times so that I can SOMEHOW SHUT THE FUCK UP. What. is. WRONG with me today? Get a grip, Hope!

I look back to my friends as the group continues down the hall and out of sight, still blushing from all the stupid-ass things that just flashed through my mind. Taylor has the biggest evil grin I've ever seen on her face, which can ONLY mean that something very disturbing and/or destructive and/or insane is about to befall those new kids.

"I am going to screw with their minds SO MUCH…" she says, still holding that evil grin on her face like a trophy for whatever fucked up things she has planned. "…Hey wait, why is your face all red?"

SHIT. What the FUCK am I supposed to say?...

"HOLY SHIT, did you see that guy with the scythe? I'm gonna make him my new best friend!"

Thank you Champ, for cutting me off from having to answer that incriminating and just plain none-of-her-fucking-business question! Now I have some of my own…

"Wait, were those guys…?" I trail off, already pretty sure of the answer. We all look at each other, grin, then say at the same time like psychically connected triplets,

"GROUP C."

DAMN. So THAT'S what Tsunade meant by "unique." These kids are a bunch of mutant, fucked-up freaks! In a good way, though.

"Did you guys hear? All of them have been convicted of mass murder and multiple felonies."

Of course Taylor would know this. Not only is she the first to get this sort of info normally, just being the kind of person she is, but she also works at the local police station. There's NO WAY they wouldn't have mentioned this to every last member of the force. And hey, wait…

"If they're mass murderers and crazy psychopaths or whatever…then HOW IN THE LIVING HELL did they get accepted as part of the LEAF program? They're probably not even from Konoha, for god's sake!" I can't stop myself from blurting out the obvious question that would be on any SANE (or half sane, in my case) person's mind, unlike my COMPLETELY bat shit crazy friends who seem EXCITED by the prospect of spending quality time with FUCKING KILLERS.

Taylor, taking the initiative here as the senior in our group, gives me a half assed response.

"Well, Tsunade DID say they found some loopholes in the program…" she states FAR too nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders for extra not-giving-a-fuck effect. I facepalm.

"Must be a PRETTY loose program then…" I grumble into my hand that's still planted on my face.

"Savannah-chan, this will be fun! I've always wanted a killer as a best friend, and besides, this could be exciting!"

Alright, I can't help but admit what Champ just said strikes true for all of us. We think hanging out with freaks is the shit, and hell, everybody we know are freaks anyway! So, what's a couple of crazy murderers on top of them? And plus…my mind can't stop wandering back to that one guy…

"FUCK though, did you guys hear this either? I'm the last senior in the whole damn school! AND I'm stuck with those Group C guys!"

WHOA. More "BIG NEWS" shit alert. Taylor excitedly continues, not waiting for either of us to comment on this new development.

"Get this: apparently, I'm the ONLY senior in this damn school who can handle being with them, so, the people in charge here shoved them on me as MY fucking problem. But, hey, like I said before…" her evil grin is back, "…I'M GONNA MAKE THEIR LIVES A LIVING HELL."

I know I shouldn't do this, I'm PRETTY SURE I don't want to know, but I ask, "Taylor…WHAT exactly are you planning on pulling? You know how much trouble you're already in from all the shit you pulled LAST semester…"

"I don't give a damn! The school wants me to handle them, well, TOUGH SHIT, cause' I'm doing this MY way!" Her evil grin turns to a downright disturbing smirk.

"Let's see…maybe I'll start with that blond chick…"

"That wasn't a "chick," that was a MAN!" I snap, pissed off by Taylor's apparent gender confusion, then blush when they both turn to me with a strange look on their faces. At first it seems like either shock at my outburst or the revelation of that guy being a male…but then I realize it's not because of WHAT I said, but WHY I said it that they're giving me this inquisitive look.

Champ suddenly smiles in that girlish way she does when she's around Neji and blurts out "You LIKE him, don't you?"

I turn and smash my head into my locker instead of facepalming this time, covering up my bright pink face and my weakness by growling out a response.

"No, Champayine, I don't "like" him," emphasizing the word through gritted teeth, "I'm just saying that THEY are a HE and not a SHE."

"But then why's your face all red?"

"Because I'm embarrassed to know idiots like you two!"

Instead of debating this point of their stupidity, Taylor only serves to strengthen it with her next comment. Apparently the look on her face from before WAS just shock at what I'd said instead of how or why I said it at all, because her next words are, with that same look still on her face, "Wait…that was a DUDE?"

The next thing out of her mouth was what REALLY pissed me off, though.

"WOW, that guy must be, like, flaming gay or something."

Clearly, so far in this new semester, I have absolutely NO fucking control over my thoughts nor my spoken words, cause' here I go AGAIN saying some dumb shit in response without thinking.

"HEY! Just because a guy has long hair doesn't MAKE him gay! It's sexy…"

I clamp my hands over my face so that not one more damning and/or retarded thought can leave my lips (which, right now, I wish I could zip up and throw away the damn key).

"So, Savannah, does that mean you think I'M sexy?" I jump like ten feet in the air, thinking that blondie might have heard my incriminating outburst and come back for some reason, when I realize who the voice belongs to and look up, grinning at Champ's ninja boyfriend.

"Hey, Neji. No, sorry, you're not my type, and besides…" I look between him and Champ as they smile sweetly at each other, "…you seem to be taken anyway."

At this, Champayine leaps up from where she's sitting and flings herself at Neji, wrapping her arms around him as he does the same to her.

"Hi, Neji-kun! I missed you over the last two weeks!" she said, planting a cute kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Hinata and I were off training all Winter Break with the Hyugas. There wasn't really any time for us to go out or do anything…can you forgive me?" he asks her, putting one hand gently under her chin and tipping her head up to gaze into her eyes and so she could look into his as she just barely manages to squeak out an excited "YES~". He goes in for a tender kiss…and I'm sick of watching.

This kind of lovey-dovey shit makes me sick. I'll admit, they're the cutest couple I know, but seriously…GET A ROOM! I look at Taylor and make the universal gagging motion of pretending to stick my finger down my throat and rolling my eyes. She smirks, nods her agreement, then voices my exact thoughts out loud.

"Get a room you two, we don't wanna watch this shit." They quickly pull apart, Neji embarrassed and Champ just giggling at their very open Public Display of Affection. WEEE.

"So Neji, since when do YOU know what humor is? That timing before was golden, man," Taylor approves with a positive review of his little sarcastic crack, giving him her patented "Taylor Approved" thumbs up.

"Well, since I started dating Champayine, I know a LOT of things…" he replies, the two lovers exchanging one of "those" glances that says they've done god-knows what who-knows where, and I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW ANYWAY.

"Alright, enough you lovebirds. Don't let us hold you back from your ALONE time," I say, giving them a bored and SLIGHTLY annoyed look. Taylor just throws them an outright disgusted glare, commanding, "Get out of here NOW you two before you make me puke on your feet." Neji returns her repulsed look and Champ just smiles and says a quick "Bye!" as they link hands and walk away, discussing who missed who more and all that frilly couple stuff.

"So, back to business," I quickly insert in the now beautiful silence of those two being gone. "Tsunade's message about the "new staff"…what's that all about? We getting new janitors or something?"

Taylor laughs at my question, which, HEY, is kinda rude when between her and the lovebirds, nobody's told me jack-shit yet. "JANITORS? REALLY, Savannah?"

"YES, really! I don't have a damn clue what's been going on today! Care to actually FILL ME IN?"

The amusement and sarcasm in her voice diminish, taking the conversation SLIGHTLY more seriously.

"Geez, calm down. I'm getting to it, and NO, it doesn't involve the janitors. They're the only ones who ever did any work around here."

""Did?" As in, they're gone?"

"No. But a lot of other people who used to be a part of the staff are."

"Like who? And WHY?"

"GEEZ, nothing but you asking questions, yelling at me, and cutting me off all morning!"

"SORRY, Taylor. Feel free to continue. I'm shutting up now."

"Alright, so look: Tsunade's in charge of the LEAF program. She's our new vice-principal. As a part of the new system she's implemented, she decided to replace all the crappy teachers here with the ones from their school. Mostly all the assholes that us students have complained against. With me so far?"

I just nod, not wanting to piss Taylor off any more than I've already succeeded in doing.

"Good. And, for yours and lover-boy's benefit, I hear almost ALL the shitty, bitchy assholeish IB teachers have been scrapped."

"Wait, you mean Neji? And WAIT, REALLY?"

I'm dumbstruck. All those horrible, evil, cruel teachers that have made the last year and a half of my life a living Hell in terms of classes are just…gone? Like, POOF?

"Yes, really. Neji's kind of disappointed, considering he actually LIKED them, but he can suck it. They're gone now, and I knew it would make you happy, which is PART of what I've been trying to tell you. You know, when we weren't too busy being distracted by crazy blond bitches left and right."

She grins, and I think she's talking about Tsunade yelling at the principal, but then her meaning sinks in to my thick head.

"HEY!"

She bursts out laughing, and after ATTEMPTING to look mad at her, I break out with the same response, the two of us bent over in cruel laughter at that blond hottie's expense.

Oh well. I knew he was a guy, at least. And an attractive one at that. So, it just makes the moment that much funnier.

Suddenly, our fun moment is interrupted by the voice of one of said "blond bitches," and not the one that I would have liked to hear.

"Taylor Wagner, get your ass to the front office NOW!"

Oh shit. What did she do NOW?

"Hey, Blond Bitch #1 found the intercom again! Good for her," my friend and apparent convict states in a laid-back manner that she usually adopts when she's busy not-giving-a-fuck about the consequences of one of her famous pranks.

"Guess you should go, Taylor."

"Yep. Don't know what this is about, but I'll see you here at lunch. Later," she finishes, getting up and walking into the depths of the office towards the apparent rage of Tsunade and some equally horrible punishment.

"Bye…and good luck," I mumble as she leaves, jealous that she's so badass, Champ's so sweet, and I'm just the sad little poet that's scarred for life and can't speak a damn word about it to either of them as they both live their lives and leave me behind. I sigh and pull out my journal. With nothing else to do, might as well write some poetry about shave ice, cruises, Johnny Depp, a lack of nightmares, and blond strangers who seem to be making my morning very confusing…

* * *

Alright, instead of boring you with my emo poetry, I'm gonna tell you a thing or two about my best friends. Before I met them in 9th grade and then the LEAF students this year, my life was shit. An empty void of solitude and failure. Well, FUCK, okay, there's still plenty of failure goin' on in my classes, but HEY, with a bunch of crazy friends, it's almost forgettable at times!

Taylor and Champayine are the greatest people I know. The funny thing is, though, they're pretty much polar opposites in terms of personality. Taylor is a complete epic badass who knows how to pull anything, look AMAZING in the process, and then get away with it. And even if she does get caught, she never loses her cool, and usually finds a way to dodge the punishment.

I cast a glance at the office. Well, knowing her, she'll slip right by the system somehow, but with that new Tsunade woman…I shudder, thinking of the rage we've already witnessed three times this morning.

Anyway, Taylor is pretty much heartless when it comes to touchy-feely emotions like the ones Champ's so caught up in right now. She thinks that "love" is pointless and stupid, HATES physical contact of any kind that doesn't involve violence, and won't listen to any music that doesn't involve rock or some kind of serious meaning. Her clothes are usually nearly identical to mine, so everybody calls us twins, me being "the good twin" and her my evil one. But, even with her independence and strength, she still cares about her friends and family, and would probably die protecting them if it came down to it. Oh, and also, if you ever hang out with her, she'll take you to awesome places on adventures into the best of Port Orange and Florida. They aren't the fairy tale kind, but you'll sure as hell remember them!

Champ, though, is as far to the other side of the scale as you can get. She's basically a cute little white girl trapped in a black girl's body, meaning she doesn't act black at all. For the most part, she follows the rules and gets along with people, though she CAN be violent if you really piss her off. As you've seen with Neji, she's INCREDIBLY sweet and loving, pretty girly at times, and open to the expression and sharing of emotions. Meaning, touchy-feely. She adores her boyfriend and FIRMLY believes in love, glomps and/or hugs 99% of the people she knows, and likes to listen to upbeat, happy music, especially Vocaloid, with some rock and hip-hop on the side. She used to be kept under lock and key by her psycho parents, but thanks to Neji (who they actually approve of due to his honorable family name and placement in the prestigious IB program), they're starting to give her the freedom she rightfully deserves. Part of why they're so strict is due to her grades being low like mine, although in my opinion that's no reason to keep her chained up in a dark emo corner. Seriously. My grades are even more fucked over than hers, and MY mom doesn't give a shit!

I'm scribbling down another line of my poem, completely caught up in what I'm doing, when all of a sudden the bell rings, breaking the spell of my poetic inspiration. Aww. I turn to my bag and shove the journal back in, looking up to get a pleasant surprise.

Mr. Blond Hottie's walking past me down the hall, alone this time, and as I stare at his sexy glory, he turns down the very hall that I'm about to head towards. _"No way…"_ I think_, "…is he going to the same place I am?"_ I smile excitedly to myself as I stand up and grab my stuff, following in his footsteps and pondering just what the rest of the day, and the year, have in store for me…

* * *

**Taylor**

Somewhere deep in the recesses of the Spruce Creek High School main office, a young girl dressed in all black walked coolly towards her impending doom, and MAYBE some punishment, if the system wasn't so damn loose. She reached the door marked "Principal" after winding through a few hallways, and, as she went to reach for the handle, said door flew open, leaving her to stare into the very pissed off face of her new vice-principal.

"Wagner! Good, you actually decided to show me your ugly mug."

The woman's expression softened (if you could call it that) from an Earth shattering glare of pure rage to an equally terrifying smirk.

"I've heard MUCH about you, kid. None of it good. Come on," she barked the command, the girl never losing her perfect poker face.

"Hatake will take care of you. You're his problem now," she shouted at her military style as they wandered down a few doors, her stomping, the girl just following emotionlessly.

She was so used to this bullshit. She pulls an awesome, fucking hilarious prank, the higher ups in the school find out somehow, she gets called in, bitched at, then sent away to pull even more shit. The whole system was an old routine to her by now.

The woman stopped in front of a door labeled "Hatake," flinging it open and angrily ushering the girl inside. She stepped in, just barely past the threshold, when the door was nearly slammed on her ass.

"_Geez, bitchy much? And watch the damn door!"_ she shouted inside her head, now turning her attention to the bored and incredibly distracted man before her.

He was holding a book that covered half of his face, but from what she could see, he had silver hair, was wearing a headband that covered up one eye on an angle, and had a mask on to cover his mouth. And she also thought that he was incredibly hot.

His one eye that she could see was rapidly scanning the page, and was crinkled up a bit, like he was smiling. The girl grunted, attempting to get his very divided attention to focus on her. No response. She then tried a different approach.

"So. Who are you, what do you want, and what have I done now?" Still no response.

"And HEY, where's Mr. Tweedy? This used to be his office."

Finally, she received a response. The man, never looking up from his book with a happy looking couple chasing each other on the cover, answered her questions, starting with the last one.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, Tweedy. He's gone now." He continued, STILL not looking up from his damn book, which was REALLY starting to piss the girl off.

"My name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm Mr. Tweedy's replacement, meaning, your new school rules disciplinarian. I'm in charge of upholding the law and order around here."

He moved on to questions two and three, and, yep, STILL wouldn't look her in the damn eye. Her PO'ed levels rose a few notches more.

"What I WANT is for you and the rest of the Group C students to hold your peace without disrupting that of all those around you. Meaning, it's my job to keep the school from getting destroyed."

He FINALLY glanced up from his book to look at her while saying his next sentence.

"And from what I've heard, besides them, YOU'RE the most likely candidate to do so."

Her PO'ed levels waned when he at last acknowledged her existence, but spiked off the damn charts when he said this. "Destroy the school?" Sure, that would be amusing as hell, but all she was trying to do was have a little fun!

"And what, EXACTLY, have I done suddenly to warrant this little crackdown interrogation?" she asked, restating Question #3 in a seemingly calm manner, though this guy and his book were progressively pissing her off more and more.

"This, for starters," he replied, opening a desk drawer and removing an incredibly long, rolled up piece of paper, letting it unfurl and roll across the room to her feet, while, of course, never looking up from the book. The girl took one look at the extensive sheet of paper and grinned.

"Oh hey, it's The List. Didn't I burn this thing last semester?"

The man sighed and gestured towards the end of the paper still lying at the girl's feet.

"Yep. Item Number 247: Snuck into Mr. Tweedy's office and attempted to incinerate The List."

The girl gave him a funny look, though he STILL wasn't looking at her. Her PO'ed levels rose again to see that even while reciting one of her famous pranks, he refused to stop ignoring her. _"That's IT,"_ she thought_," Let's see how he acts when he doesn't have that fucking book in his hand."_

The girl stared him down a few seconds, sizing him up, then she jumped across the small office in one leap, attempting to reach for and snatch his book. ATTEMPTING being the key word here.

As her hand shot out to grab his book, his ninja reflexes kicked in, allowing him to easily dodge her weak effort at stealing his porn.

Unfortunately, Taylor, though she CAN be ninja-like, isn't actually a ninja. Meaning that when Kakashi's ninja reflexes saved his porn, she didn't have any to save herself. She was left off balance at his sudden dodge, leaving her excess momentum from flinging her arm out towards him and his book to carry her over his desk and right on top of him. The two of them tumbled backward onto the floor, Taylor pinning Kakashi down when they landed.

It was at this exact moment that Tsunade chose to make an entrance.

"Hatake! Here's the reports you asked fo…" she trailed off, staring at the scene before her.

"Well, Kakashi, she IS 18…sorry to interrupt!"

She smirked evilly, slamming the door, leaving the two very shocked and confused people inside to wonder what the fuck just happened. Taylor leisurely got to her feet, not regretting what she did one bit, leaving an equally unflustered Kakashi to do the same. The two of them stood, nonchalantly gazed at each other for a few seconds, then said at the same time "We will never speak of this again," for the first time never breaking eye contact. That was short lived, though.

As soon as the words left their lips, Kakashi had already stood the chair back up and resumed his former position; feet propped up and book in face. Taylor could tell, though, with her extraordinary sensory abilities (that of a ninja), that he now was clutching his precious book just a little bit tighter, and his posture seemed a little less relaxed than before. These small details were enough to satisfy her.

"Look, Kakashi, if we're done here I'm leaving," she said boredly, turning to the door. No response. "Well, bye then," she stated, dismissing herself from their little meeting.

She reached for the doorknob, but before she touched it, was stopped by his voice.

"Miss Wagner…Taylor," he said, his voice growing less distant and more focused with the calling of her by her first name.

"Some of those stunts you've pulled are…impressive." She turned back to him. "SHIT!" she thought, staring back at him, "He's actually looking at me!"

He had now put the book down and was giving her his full attention for the first time. He steadily watched her, calmly yet firmly stating, "Look…if you want attention, then come and see me here," never taking his eye off of hers.

She felt something inside of her, a weird, tingly, almost warm feeling. She dismissed it, thinking, "Must be something I ate."

She opened the door and walked out, grunting an "Alright" as she slammed it behind her.

She wandered back out of the office slowly, wondering to herself what his last comment meant. Was he referring to the kind of "attention" that pulling some stupid pranks warranted, or the kind that a woman can get from a man when he's not too distracted by reading porn to pay attention to her in the first place? And then what was with that feeling just now?

She smiled to herself, exiting the office right as the bell rang. She had NO idea what was going on here, but whatever it was, she liked it. She caught a glimpse of a very happy looking Savannah heading to her first period class, and had just enough time to wonder _"What's she so happy about?"_ before heading off to her own 1st period, smiling like an idiot herself the entire time.

* * *

**A/N- Hope you liked it! Chapter 3 should be up in the next few days, and so far it is HILARIOUS! XD So while you wait for it, you should go get your drawing pads, kids, cause' the winner of the contest (if anybody's brave enough to enter... *evil laugh*) gets a SPECIAL prize. And just making an attempt to win it will be fun for both of us, so seriously, ENTER IT! And if you DON'T enter it... *Taylor cracks knuckles* I'll have Taylor beat you up! XD Or even WORSE...steal your porn and never give it back! **

**I hope you guys will stick with me, cause' if you do, I promise we can make this the most FUCKING AWESOME fanfic EVER! Or at least just plain fucking awesome on it's own. ;) Bye for now!**


	3. Oh, Hi Again! Nice Cloak, By the Way

**A/N- Hey guys! *glomps* This is it! This is the chapter of my big, totally awesome, exciting contest! :D I'm really happy with how this part of the story turned out, and I wrote like half of it in class on the last day of school, so, GO ME! XD This is when Savannah meets the Akatsuki (and of course Deidara ^_^), and in THIS part of the story, I'm kicking up the humor, flirting, and pervertedness! WOOT WOOT! So, what I want YOU to do, is read the chapter, laugh your ass off, maybe possibly review if you like it, and then DRAW ME THAT PICTURE! XD A picture of WHAT, you ask? Oh you'll find out soon enough. ;) OH, and I keep forgetting to do this, but here goes: **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! Or Fifty Shades of Gray, Kleenex, or Pokemon! (boy, have fun trying to figure out how THOSE things are related! XD)**

* * *

Turning down the Crooked Hall to my class, I realize I'm still smiling like a complete dumbass. FUCK. I attempt to pull my expression back to that of a sane, not-horny teenage girl, but end up grinning like an idiot when I see who's sitting against the lockers a few feet away from my first period. It's not quite the blond guy I was looking for, but...

"HEY Savannah-chan!" he shouts at me and glomps me, followed by his equally stupid best friend.

"Jerry-girl, what is up, mi amiga?"

Oh boy. It's Naruto and Juan, the biggest pair of idiots, but also the most lovable ones, in the whole school.

"Hey guys!"

They raise their hands up, and the three of us share a group high five, Naruto screaming "DATEBAYO!" and Juan saying his usual "YEAH GIRL!" as we all jump up and slap our hands together. God, I love these guys! A lot of people hate the goofy ways they act, but I think they're fucking HILARIOUS.

We all grin at each other like the dumbasses we are, Naruto suddenly blurting out, "Savannah-chan, guess how many cups of ramen I ate over break!"

I pretend to make a really thoughtful face, like I'm pondering the meaning of life.

"Hmm...TWENTY!" I excitedly answer him, hoping I came close. Not even.

"NOPE! 448! DATEBAYO!"

"HOLY CRAP, how many did you eat A DAY?"

"32!"

"And I helped him, Jerry-girl!"

The looks on their faces are adorable. They're beaming with pride at their brilliantly stupid accomplishment, and I am genuinely impressed that ANYBODY can consume that much ramen. So, I glomp them both the way they did to me a minute earlier.

"GOOD JOB, GUYS! That's more than I've managed to accomplish this entire year!"

We all squeeze each other, still in our group glomp, then Naruto and Juan suddenly break away and run down the hallway, heading god-knows-where for whatever reason.

"BYE SAVANNAH-CHAN!" "SEE YOU IN 6TH, JERRY-GIRL!" they call back over their shoulders, but by the time I can shout out a "Bye!," they're already long gone. Idiots.

I smile to myself. When things got...bad, those two were always there to cheer me up. Champayine, the self-proclaimed Cupid that she is, kept telling me that since they make me laugh and we're always hanging out, that I should ask one of them out. Stupidest thing she's ever told me to do. That pair of dumbasses are like my brothers. I could NEVER date them. Besides, Naruto's already going out with that adorable Hinata girl. And Juan's just like a little Mexican monkey; cute, but pretty out there. Plus, I like older guys, and guys with long hair, and...AW FUCK.

I'm just now realizing who my descriptions are starting to match up with when I walk into the room...and he's sitting in the seat RIGHT in front of mine. Well. What do you know?

He turns to see who just came in, looks me square in the eyes with the one of his that I can see, and SMILES. SHIT! He's the only one in the room, so, I smile back cutely and SOMEHOW manage not to blush at his attention. I walk over and sit at my desk (which, did I mention, is RIGHT BEHIND HIM?), toss my bag to the floor and reach down to retrieve my economics notebook. As I'm leaning over to grab it from my bag, he turns around to face me, and I can feel him watching me. DAMN. I can't believe this is happening.

"Hey," he says casually as I put my notebook on my desk, and I look up to face him.

"Hi," I reply, trying to copy his laid back tone of voice.

"Group C?"

"Yeah." He grins. "I saw you in the hall this morning, un."

"You did?" Wait, what? I didn't think he'd noticed me.

"Yeah, you and your friends were staring open mouthed at us. And you were giving Hidan and Zetsu a funny look, un."

"You mean the plant dude and the guy with the scythe?" He nods.

"Hey, do you like art, un?" Okay, random question time. Before I can answer him, the ginger-with-no-soul walks in and rudely cuts me off.

"NOBODY likes your art, Deidara."

"BULLSHIT, Sasori! And I was asking HER, not you, un!"

I blink at the ginger kid annoyedly. "YES, I DO like art, ginger-with-no-soul, and I don't need you to answer my damn questions for me."

Deidara (I know his name now!) bursts out laughing, and I smirk at the now very pissed off looking ginger kid.

"HAHAHA, he DOESN'T have a soul, un! How did you know that?" he asks, still cracking up, apparently thinking that my web-meme reference was a serious insult.

I shrug. "Internet." The ginger, Sasori, just glares at me.

"You don't have to rub it in..." he grumbles, trudging to the seat across from Deidara in the row to my right. Still enjoying the cruel joke I made (that's apparently a fact somehow?), he laughs again.

"HA! I love this girl! What's your name, un?" I grin at him, glad I could make him laugh like this.

"Savannah." He smiles at me coolly, redoing his introduction.

"I'm Deidara. I could have mentioned that on my own though, without my damned PARTNER," pointed look at Sasori, "saying it for me,un."

The ginger just scowls. "Hey, I'm not the one who made you leave this morning by annoying the shit out of you."

Deidara groans, remembering some unpleasant event, and I'm about to ask when another Group C student barges in.

"DEIDARA-SEMPAIII! Where did you go before, we were all hanging out, and I was showing you that dance I found on the Internet, and!..." he stops for a second, and I assume he's looking at me through the one eyehole in his orange mask as he turns to face me.

"OOOOH! HI THERE, PERSON!" he shouts, glomping me. "YOU'RE PRETTY! AND YOUR HAIR'S EVEN LONGER THAN DEIDARA SEMPAI'S!" he squeals, squeezing the life out of me then proceeding to play with my long brown hair.

"Aww, thank you," I say sweetly, like I'm talking to a small child, which, it feels like I am considering the way this guy is acting. But he's adorable, too!

"WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?" he enthusiastically asks me, holding his hands together and looking at me with sparkles dancing around him, like he's a five year old asking for a cookie.

"OKAY!" I happily chirp at him, receiving another glomp from him.

"YAY! TOBI MADE A NEW FRIEND! What's your name, pretty girl?"

"Savannah," I reply, smiling, though he's spastically running around in circles now with glee and doesn't notice.

"DAMN IT, TOBI, SIT DOWN, UN!" Deidara yells at him, in a way that makes me think he's used to getting annoyed by Tobi.

"NO! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" he shouts back giddily, rushing over to claim the open seat across from me behind Sasori.

"OH YEAH! DEIDARA-SEMPAI, I NEVER SHOWED YOU MY DANCE THAT I LEARNED FROM THE INTERNET!" he exclaims, springing back up again and pulling out an iPod. He switches it on, hits the play button, and I realize I know EXACTLY what dance he's talking about when the song starts. I can't help it. I love this song, and the dance? EVERYBODY knows this dance.

I scream "CARAMELLDANSEN!" at the same time as Tobi as I jump up and start dancing the famous meme with him, right when the plant dude walks in. OH SNAP.

I stop, creeped out by this...THING, that seems more venus fly trap than human.

"Whoa, uh...hey there, plant guy. What's up...?"

He only stares at me, in a way that goes beyond just making me uncomfortable...it's CREEPING ME THE FUCK OUT. Everybody else laughs, even Sasori, and I give Deidara a confused look. He attempts to explain to me, through the laughter, "...HAHA! NO, NO, don't bother, that's just Zetsu, un."

"Zetsu?"

"He doesn't talk much," Sasori explains.

"we talk...WE JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT USUALLY."

Alright, this guy's a freak. He just spoke one sentence, but half of it came from his white side and the other from his shadowy black one. Eeek. This morning just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

"Okay, then," I mumble as I sit back down, feeling violated by the plant dude just LOOKING at me with his soulless stare. Hey, soulless! Just like the ginger! I openly grin at my private joke and say to Deidara, "Guess he doesn't have a soul either."

This sets him off again, and I start laughing myself, Zetsu just staring at me the whole time.

"laugh while you can girl...YOU'LL REGRET THIS," his split personalities threaten me as he creeps off, like the creeper he is, to the dark emo corner of the room that nobody wants to sit in. Good riddance. As long as he keeps his distance from me, he won't have any problems with a certain evil twin of mine.

Deidara grins sexily at me, and I give him an innocent looking smile in return. "You're pretty awesome, and fucking hilarious! I've never seen anyone stand up to Sasori, dance with Tobi, or bash Zetsu before, un."

I respond with the simple truth. "Well...guess I'm a first then," I state, with a mischievous look on my face.

"Oh wait..." he says, worried by something all of a sudden.

"The guy with the scythe, Hidan. You might not want to screw with him, un."

"Why, he even crazier than you guys or something?" No laugh this time.

"The fact that he's got a GIANT FUCKING SCYTHE isn't enough of a hint?"

I frown at him, afraid that I might have pissed him off, when, oh hey look, scythe dude walks in. As soon as he opens his mouth, I'm seriously to ignore Deidara's advice.

"HEY DEIDARA, YOU LITTLE SHIT, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO BEFORE?" He notices me sitting behind him, giving me a look that "sadistic" doesn't even begin to describe. "Shit, you asshole! It's been, fuck, five minutes and you already have a bitch?"

I go drop-jawed at his perverted implication, and he demonically gazes down at me while making his next sick comment. "She's fuckin' hot. Mind if I have a turn?"

Um...WHAT THE FLIPPING FUCK is WRONG with this douchebag? Fine, fine, a TINY little part of me is secretly thrilled that he thinks Deidara and I are...you know. But what is this, Fifty Shades of Gray or something? I'm not a whore like Anastasia Steele. This guy seems like he would beat me within an inch of my life and THEN have me anyway. And I can't afford any more nightmares in my memories.

While all of this flashes through my head and I struggle to keep from "answering" his question with a long string of explicatives of my own, yet ANOTHER member of Group C appears. OH BOY.

"Hidan, I told you no prostitutes. They're expensive, and I refuse to give you money for something as stupid as sex."

WHAT. THE. HELL? The newest addition to the Class From Hell that my 1st period is apparently becoming steps in to the room and glances between me and Hidan as he says this. Ew. His eyes are Christmas colored, red and green, he's wearing a hood over his head, and a mask over his face. Freak.

"But Kakuzu, she's fuckin' HOT! Like you wouldn't BANG THAT?"

OH THAT IS IT. "I. AM. NOT. A. PROSTITUTE. And I wouldn't have sex with you for all the money on the damn planet even if I WAS!" My inner anger builds as I'm screaming this at them to the point that I almost jump up and deck them both in their ugly-ass faces. But I manage to hold myself back from doing something incredibly stupid, like resorting to violence against these two fucktards.

"Hey bitch, calm the fuck down! I was asking DEIDARA if I could fuck you up, since you seem to be HIS bitch." He gives me a wicked smirk and glances between Deidara and I for emphasis. OH I HATE THIS GUY SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

"I can answer the fucking question myself! NO! NEVER! ABSOLUTELY NEVER, EVER, EVER!"

Kakuzu cuts in to my crazy ass rage against Hidan, in a way that makes it seem like he's trying to piss me off even more. "If you're not a prostitute, then why are you dressed like that?"

"Because I'm a GOTH! It's a fucking FASHION STYLE!"

He just grunts, apparently not giving a shit whether I am or not, and wanders back to the emo corner where the plant dude is sitting, staring at us all as this shit's been going down.

"What's going on in here? We could hear you all the way down the hall on our way over!"

The last (THANK GOD!) Group C students wander in, and I see it's the shark dude and the familiar looking emo from earlier. Sharky asked the question, so I take the liberty of answering it before Hidan can say any more shit.

"I was just EXPLAINING to this dumbass that I'm not ANYBODY'S bitch, nor a prostitute," I scowl at Hidan, "and he'd BETTER stay away from me if he knows what's good for him."

Hidan raises his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, you win, goth bitch! But if Deidara doesn't try to fuck you eventually, I will!"

"Thanks for the OFFER, douche face," I growl at him sarcastically.

"Wasn't an "offer," bitch, it was a THREAT." He plops down in the open seat in front of Deidara, and I groan.

"Can you PLEASE sit somewhere else?"

"Nope bitch, I'm staying RIGHT here!"

"FUCK YOU."

"I wish you would, you bitch!"

Deidara just gives me a look that says "told-you-so," and I return it with one that screams "well-what-was-I-SUPPOSED-to-do?" Shark dude just starts cracking up after watching this. Glad to know SOMEONE is enjoying this. The emo just stands there, looking, well, EMO.

I remember something from Biology last year, and suddenly there's a question I'm DYING to ask the shark guy.

"Hey, Sharky! Wait, you're really a shark, right?"

He stops laughing to answer my question. "Yeah, goth girl, why?"

"Cause', I'm curious..." I manage to say with a completely straight face, "Don't think I'm hitting on you or anything, but do you have two penises?"

I tried to ask it nonchalantly, but everybody (minus emo and plant dude) broke out laughing at my little inquiry anyway. I even caught Sasori and that Kakuzu guy chuckling. Geez, I just ask an innocent little question and THIS is what happens?

"WHOA, goth girl, slow down there! My name's Kisame, and, yes, I do."

I grin like the insane little dumbass I am.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I just HAD to find out or not."

He shoots me a shark-tooth filled smile. "No problem. You're pretty funny."

I shrug. "Not really. I just fit in really well with weirdos like you guys."

He seems amused, but his emo friend's still being a stuck up prick. Kisame decides to take the seat in front of Sasori, leaving Mr. Emo standing there at the door awkwardly. Now that I see him up close, he's DEFINITELY gotta be related to that person, considering how similar they look.

"Hey..." I decide to find out if I'm right or not about his identity. "...You're an Uchiha, aren't you?"

He shoots me the patented Uchiha Glare, which is totally EMO-FUCKIN'-TASTIC, grunts, and slinks off to the emo corner with plant dude and Kakuzu.

"That's right! Crawl off to the emo corner where all you damned Uchihas belong!" ...is what I WANT to howl at him as he heads across the room. Instead, I just grumble, "I hate Uchihas" under my breath as I stare at the back of his head, wishing he'd drop dead.

Surprisingly, I'm not alone. "You too, un?"

I look into Deidara's eye and see a reflection of my own hatred for the damn members of that ACCURSED clan there.

"Yeah. They ruined my life."

"Heh. Same here, un." I'm incredibly interested in what they did to fuck up HIS life, but I don't want to pry into the darkness of his past. Plus, I could NEVER tell him what they did to me...so I drop the subject.

The last bell rings, and I'm just wondering where the teacher is, and possibly WHO it is, when my NORMAL economics teacher, Mr. Goldstone, walks in. OH THANK GOD HE DIDN'T GET SCRAPPED BY TSUNADE! Seeing the everyday face of my econ teacher just became my island of calm amongst the absolute CHAOS of this morning.

"Well, so YOU guys are Group C. You don't seem so bad!" he remarks in his usual upbeat manner. He notices me and the five psychopaths sitting on my side of the room.

"Hey, and look at that! You're getting along with them, Savannah! I KNEW placing them here with you was a good idea!"

Alright, so apparently...wait, WHAT? "Mr. Goldstone...WHAT are you talking about? And I thought...?"

"Give me a minute to explain, kid!" I love Mr. Goldstone, but now I'm starting to think this whole set up is part of some evil conspiracy against me. I'm struggling to figure out what he meant as he steps over to the front of the room and faces the eight serial killers killers and one very confused goth girl.

"Alright, morning! I'm Mr. Goldstone, and I'll be teaching all of you AP Economics this semester as part of the LEAF program!"

I raise my hand. "Yes, Savannah?"

"Look, Mr. Goldstone, in case you haven't noticed I'm NOT part of Group C, OR the LEAF program, and I was told that these guys were Taylor Wagner's problem since she's the last senior, so...can I get transferred to a different period?"

Goldstone doesn't get mad at my sarcastic and semi-diplomatic speech the way most teachers would. He's cool like that, which is why he's still here at all. Instead, he, just like EVERYBODY else seems to keep doing, laughs and then continues.

"Sorry, Miss Hope, but the class roster's been approved by Tsunade herself, so it's kinda official. Meaning permanent till the end of the year."

Well, I tried. I don't really want to leave, though. I kinda like the chaos. And I CERTAINLY like being around Deidara. Tobi and Kisame aren't bad either. Mr. Goldstone continues, appealing to me the benefits of the situation.

"Well, I was told that they needed to take at least one AP course, and this is the only one they could enroll in considering it starts this semester. You were going to be dropped from my roster for Taylor but I asked them to let you stay cause' well, I thought you could use some new friends. Plus, Taylor's not the only one who can handle them."

He gives me a wink,and I groan, realizing it's "officially" been made my problem too, and for what? He thinks the fact that we both wear black puts me on the same level as her? Taylor could take on any one of these guys and WIN, and I can't even throw a PUNCH! How the FUCK is this a good idea?

"The main reason though is instead of knocking the crap out of them like Taylor would, Tsunade thought that YOU could knock some SENSE into them."

I hear Hidan whisper loudly to Deidara, " I'd like to KNOCK her UP..."

"SHUT UP, HIDAN! See, Mr. Goldstone, this guy just THREATENED me!"

"It wasn't a THREAT, bitch, I'm just sayin' what..."

I cut him off in an attempt to earn him a referral to go see Tsunade. " "BITCH!" Come ON, Mr. Goldstone, give him a referral!"

"Well, well, so this is what that warning was about...since you're "unique," guess I have to let this go."

OH, FUCK YOU MR. GOLDSTONE, NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO BE SO LAID-BACK!

"Mr. Goldstone?"

"HAHAHA, BITCH, WE HAVE IMMUNITY, AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN FUCKING DO!"

"Damn it, Hidan, I hate your ass so much right now!..."

I'm successfully ignored by Mr. Goldstone LOUDLY clearing his throat and continuing like nothing just happened.

"ANY-WAY, welcome to AP Economics! This class is the study of...this," he says, pulling out a five from his pocket and holding it up. At least, that's what I think it was. His fingers are now gripping empty air, but I notice Kakuzu slip something green inside his cloak across the room. HMMM.

Goldstone brushes it off. "Oh...well, I didn't need to buy lunch, anyway. Moving on..."

The rest of the class was the usual start-of-course bullshit. "Work hard," "Try your best," "Study for tests," blah, blah, blah. It actually went smoothly, till' about halfway through the damn class. In fact, I SHOULD have been more suspicious of Hidan's silence, but I took it as a miracle and didn't want to question it. But, unfortunately, he found a way to keep himself "BUSY" fucking up my morning while being quiet as Mr. Goldstone was speaking.

He kept scribbling on a piece of paper, so, I figured maybe he gave SOMEWHAT of a fuck about his grade and was taking notes. Not even CLOSE. He finished up, folded the paper, and passed it to Deidara, telling him to give it to me. So, he hands me the paper, I unfold it...and instantly crumple it up into a little ball, tossing it into the trash.

What was on it? Let's just say, it rivaled my friend Katie's work, and she's a professional at drawing porn. I leaned around Deidara and smacked him with my notebook, but, (thanks so fucking much Mr. Goldstone!) my teacher just ignored it.

RIIING! The dismissal bell sounds, setting me free from being tormented any more in this fucking insane asylum of a class. I throw my notebook into my bag quickly, just wanting to get far, FAR away from Hidan, when Deidara stops me before I can practically sprint out of the room.

"Hey, Savannah..."

"Hm? Yeah?"

"Can you show me where the art room is at lunch, un?"

"Oh, sure. Meet me by the main office."

"You mean where I saw you this morning, un?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, cool"

"Later."

"See ya, un."

I hurry up and leave before Hidan can pull any more shit, but of COURSE it's never that simple for me.

"Hey bitch!"

Oh dear god WHHHYYY? I'm a few paces out the door and down the hall when, of fucking course, Hidan calls out to me.

"WHAT, YOU ASSHOLE?"

"You forgot something!" he yells, throwing me the crumpled up paper I threw away earlier. I catch it, rip it into little pieces, then deposit them into the nearest conveniently located trash can. He smirks.

"Fine, bitch, take THIS one then!" He tosses me a paper airplane, which I ASSUME has more porn inside, and before I can destroy this one too, he shouts over his shoulder as he's leaving, "You'll actually LIKE that one!"

NO. I don't "like" seeing his graphical representations of what he'll NEVER get from me, but, FUCK IT, I'll open this thing anyway. I'm unfolding it as I walk to my 2nd, and when I do, instead of tearing it apart in disgust, I blush and nosebleed.

OH SHIT. This time, instead of me and Hidan, it's me and Deidara. I try, and fail hopelessly, at suppressing my happiness as I smile and tuck the picture deep down in my bag for safe keeping...

* * *

Damn it, where's a fucking Kleenex when you need one?

My nose is still dripping out blood at a steady rate as I reach the door of my 2nd period, causing me to stop short of the room while I try to find a way to cover up my shame. I can't go in there like this! But as I'm standing there, looking like a HUGE perverted idiot, an even bigger one bursts out from the room.

"I SMELL PORN!"

Um, excuse me? Did he just say?...Never mind. I don't want to think about it.

He realizes I'm standing there, and takes in the fact that I'm still blushing a little bit, with, yep, A FUCKING NOSEBLEED. The creepy old man with long white hair and red trails of paint on his face that look like blood tears gives me a pervy smile, and my first thought is that this guy's either a rapist, pedophile, or some other type of sex offender that should NOT be working at a public high school.

"Well, well, little miss, I know that look! YOU'VE just seen something that you REALLY shouldn't have, and you LIKED it." His pervy smile grows as he says this, and the sad thing is, I can't even deny it. He's absolutely right.

"I...um...I'm sorry..." I stutter, trying to defend and explain myself, but he cuts me off.

"SORRY? For WHAT? You should be PROUD!" He dashes inside, and I follow him, hoping he doesn't try to rape me or anything before class. Eeek. He grabs a box of tissues sitting on his desk and tosses them to me.

"Keep that, girl, I think you need it more than me right now!" he calls across the room, and I pull out a Kleenex, shoving it up my nose to stop the bleeding. Fuck my life, and FUCK Hidan, this is all his fault!

"So, little miss," he asks with that same knowing, pervy smile still in place, "exactly WHAT brought on that nosebleed of yours? And I can SMELL that you have porn, so don't say nothing."

DAMN IT, HIDAN! Well, shit, if he knows I have it anyway, might as well tell him the truth.

"Well...let's just say this jerk in my 1st period drew me a picture...and it was pretty hot." The tissue in my nose soaks through as my nosebleed starts up again as I think of the XXX rated drawing.

"It must have been! And NOBODY who draws porn is a jerk!"

"Then THIS guy must have been an exception..." I mumble to myself as I toss the bloody tissue in the trash and swap it with a fresh one. Unfortunately, this is when Neji chooses to make an entrance.

"Savannah...WHY do you have a nosebleed?" I give him a death stare.

"Shut up, lover boy, and go take your seat. I don't wanna talk right now."

"Alright...can I ask why?" he pries, sitting down at the desk in front of me.

"Hmm, gee, well, let me think. It couldn't POSSIBLY have to do with being stuck in a room full of, like, PSYCHOPATH KILLERS all 1st period or anything. That would just be flipping HORRIBLE, don't you think?" I growl at him through gritted teeth, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Calm down. I was just asking a question."

"I bet you were JUST asking asking a question. It's not like, you know, you give a shit about anyone besides Champ, considering she's your whole world and EVERYTHING there is just flowers and rainbows!"

I'm shouting at him now, letting ALL my anger and frustrations from this morning (mostly Hidan) overflow, using him to displace my hidden rage against Tsunade, Taylor, Mr. Goldstone, and WHOEVER else's fault this is. Thank god Neji's cousin walks in and distracts me before I can do any more damage.

"OH. Hinata, it is SO good to see you. I just had the WORST morning, and your cousin's not making it any better." She looks really confused as she sits in the seat to the right of me, giving me a worried look.

"Huh? What did Neji do?"

Neji jumps at the chance to defend himself from any more bashing by yours truly.

"I've done nothing. I merely asked WHY she has a nosebleed, and WHAT made her morning so bad."

"Yeah, well, you didn't seem, you know, CONCERNED. More like you just asked out of obligation."

"Well, as one of my girlfriend's best friends, that DOES make me obligated. But that doesn't mean I don't care."

I sigh heavily, realizing that in NO case is it okay to take my problems out on other people. Or Neji. Seriously, HE didn't do anything. I decide to apologize, though it ends up sounding a little rough, since I'm not exactly calm yet.

"Look, Neji, I'm sorry. Really. I'm just...exhausted, I guess."

"Bad morning?" Hinata asks gently, and I answer her in a very worn out voice.

"Oh Hinata...you have NO idea..."

A few more people file into the room while we're talking, and when everybody arrives, I see there are only a couple of new kids in our class. There's a guy named Shikamaru who seems to describe everything as troublesome, a guy named Sai who acts like he doesn't have any emotions, and...that's it? THAT'S Group B?

Wait...but this IS an IB class, so maybe most of Group B is in regular classes? That must be it. I'm trying to figure out the deal with this whole LEAF program and where the hell the rest of the new students are, when Perv Teacher gets up to introduce himself.

"Good morning! My name's Jiraiya, and many of you know me as one of Konoha's Sannin AND a famous author of fine ADULT literature. Which is WHY I'll be your new IB English teacher for the rest of the year!" He turns and writes something on the board, then steps aside to let us read.

"Make Out Paradise vs. Fifty Shades of Gray." Um, okay then...WHAT?

"I see the looks on some of your faces!" He guffaws at our shocked expressions, then continues.

"That's right! In my opinion, as the brightest and most promising students in the school, you should be allowed to read only the best! So," he taps what he just wrote on the board, "your first assignment is to compare E. ' three part masterpiece with mine. Speaking of which, who's read the Fifty Shades trilogy already?"

My hand shoots into the air before I can stop myself, and I realize I'm SMILING, like I'm PROUD of myself. Go me, right? Jiraiya gives me his patented perv look in return, and I realize, OF COURSE, no one else here would be stupid enough to raise their hand even if they HAD.

"Only one person? You kids don't know what fine literature is! Though MY books are FAR better. Now, as for your assignment..." As Jiraiya proceeded to tell the class all about this project and what we had to do for it, I realized that IB English was gonna be a HELL of a lot more fun this time around...

* * *

"...And that's how you find the area of a circle. Any questions?" I have PLENTY, Iruka-sensei, but none of them have to do with Geometry. Sadly, he seems like a really nice teacher, but it doesn't matter who it is...NOBODY can make this math stuff understandable (or even interesting) for me.

So instead of paying attention like a good little IB student, I'm hiding behind my textbook messaging Champ on my phone. There's ten minutes left till' lunch, and I have a problem. I agreed to take Deidara to the art room, but, I have NO fucking idea where the art room is. I stare at the display on my cell, hoping she'll reply fast.

Me: _"Hey Champ! PLEASE tell me where the art room is, I need to know before lunch!"_

It only takes her about 15 seconds to answer.

Champ: _"E-07. Why do u need 2 know? U joining art club?"_

I smile at the phone as I type my response.

Me: _"No...but I know someone who is~ ^_^"_

Champ: _"who?"_

Me: _"I'll tell you later...maybe :3"_

Champ: _it's that guy isn't it? :D"_

Me: _"..."_

Champ: _"IT IS! XD"_

Me: _"...DAMN IT, CHAMP! DX"_

Champ: _"i KNEW it! U DO like him! :)"_

Me: _"*SIGH* We'll talk about this LATER."_

I'm about to throw my phone deep inside my bag to avoid seeing any more stupid texts from my friend telling me how I feel, when I get another message...and this time, it's not from Champ.

"_Hey, Savannah,we still meeting by the office, un?"_

HOLY CRAP IT'S DEIDARA. And wait, I never gave him my number...how is he texting me at all?

Me: _"Yeah, we are...who gave you my number?"_

Deidara: _"Taylor. I'm sitting right next to her now, un."_

Me: _"...WHY exactly? I mean, did you ask for it, or...?"_

Deidara: _"*shrugs* She just gave me this weird look and told me I "might want it." She says hi, by the way, un."_

Me: _"...So, just for the record, Taylor's crazy, and if she "told" you ANYTHING else, you can go ahead and TELL her for me to GO BURN IN HELL!"_

Deidara: _"She just laughed and said "I'm already there," un."_

Me: _"UGH, DAMN IT TAYLOR! DX Seriously, if she said anything weird, IGNORE IT."_

Deidara: _"She's giving me that weird look again. Your friends are creepy, un."_

Me: _"HA! Look who's talking!"_

Deidara: _"Hey, the other Akatsuki members aren't my friends. More like ...really annoying co-workers, __un."_

Me: _"Akatsuki? What's that?"_

Deidara: _"I'll tell you on the way to the art room, un."_

Me: _"Kay'."_

The bell rings right as I hit send, and I jump out of my seat, eager to go see Deidara (who I'm REALLY strarting to think is the only other semi-sane person here) and find out what this Akatsuki thing is. Grabbing my bag and rushing out the door, I hurry to our meeting point, not wanting to keep him waiting.

As I near the office, I see him leaning against my locker, and (what ELSE do I honestly expect on a day like THIS?) Taylor is with him. Oh, do I have some CHOICE words I'd like to say to her right now...but I can't afford to sound like Hidan in front of him. So, I put cursing her out right after taking Deidara to the art room on my list of things to get done at lunch today.

Taylor's telling him something, or I guess asking him, and when she's done talking he nods and agrees to god-knows-what. I have no idea what they just finished discussing, so I walk up and casually ask, "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nothing," Taylor says WAY too quickly, which can only mean whatever she was chatting with him about involved me in some way, shape, or form. And it's now some kind of secret being guarded from me. YAY.

"It's never just "nothing" with you Taylor..." They both grin, enjoying some private joke at my expense, only making me more worried about WHAT exactly she just got him to agree to.

"Alright, let's go, un."

"Yeah. Bye, Taylor." I give her a wary look before we walk away, and I just know that whatever they discussed is gonna come bite me in the ass sooner or later.

"So, what were you guys talking about?"

"Oh, nothing. You'll find out later, un."

"PLEASE tell me? I might have to end up killing Taylor if you don't warn me what's coming."

He smiles at me, in that sexy way that he seems to be so very, VERY good at. "Don't worry, it's nothing TOO bad. Just a little surprise, un."

"Okay, not funny. Taylor's "SURPRISES" usually end with at least one person in the hospital, jail, or both."

"Not this one. Probably, at least, un."

"Just promise me I'm not gonna get killed..."

"You won't...unless you're bad at putting things in your mouth and swallowing, un..."

"WHA-?"

Taylor...for the sake of all that is pure and holy in this world, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO HIM?

He changes topics so fast, I don't even have a chance to react to the innuendo that he has CLEARLY thrown out into the middle of the conversation.

"So, you wanted to know what the Akatsuki is, right, un?"

"UM...UH...YES? But what did you mean...?"

"Taylor planned everything out. I'm just gonna enjoy playing my part, un."

"PLANNED WHAT OUT?"

He completely ignores me, deciding to explain this whole Akatsuki thing instead of, you know, telling me WHAT THE FUCK him and Taylor are planning to do to me.

"So. The Akatsuki is a secret organization who's goals are to catch the nine jinchuriki, secure all of the biju, and basically to rule the world by working as a mercinary army. With me so far, un?"

"NOT AT ALL."

"Yeah, I don't really give a damn about all that political bullshit anyway. I'm just in it to make art, AND because that damned Uchiha forced me into it, un."

"You mean the emo guy?"

"Yeah. His name's Itachi, and I hate his fucking guts, un."

"What'd he do?"

"He made a fool of me and my art with his damned Sharingan! Which is why I made this, un..." he turns to me and pulls back the bangs covering up the left side of his face, revealing a robotic looking device covering his eye. "It lets me see through the abilities of those ACCURSED eyes of his, un."

"WOW. That means you have the power to take down an Uchiha..."

"Damn right I do, un!"

"So why not just kill him and get him out of the way?"

"Yeah, well, we're on the "same side," so I have to play nice. For now, un."

"If you ask me, the sooner that clan goes extinct the way it was supposed to, the better."

"Why? How'd they fuck up YOUR life, un?"

"Can't tell you."

"Why? I told you my story, so tell me yours, un!"

"I CAN'T. All I can tell you is, I hate them. And if I was in your position, I'd exterminate them for good."

The thought hangs in the air between us for a few seconds as we walk, and I decide to ask him more about the "political bullshit" part of the Akatsuki he mentioned earlier.

"So, going back to what you said before...what's a jinchuriki? And a biju?"

"A biju is a tailed beast, like a giant monster, and a jinchuriki is a person with a biju sealed inside of them, un."

"It sounds like Pokemon. "Gotta catch em' all.""

"Yeah, if Pokemon were real and could take over the FUCKING WORLD, un!"

"That sounds awesome! How do I join?"

"Aw, come on! I just told you I was FORCED to join, and now you're BEGGING to enroll, un?"

"Sure, why not? Beats being stuck in this town forever doing nothing."

"True. It has it's good points, un."

"You mean like the awesome cloak you're wearing?"

"Savannah, it's a UNIFORM. EVERYBODY has to wear these, un."

"Well yeah, but it looks really good on you." Aren't I just the sweet one?

"What do you mean? We ALL wear this, un."

"Yes, but it just seems...fitting for you. Like it helps you stand out from the crowd, even among your own kind." He smiles at me, enjoying my sort of flirtatious compliment.

"Kinda like being a goth does for you, un." I return his smile, glad we have something in common, when he catches me off guard by changing the subject again.

"You know what ELSE helps me stand out from the crowd, un?" He gives me that sexy look, causing me to lose the ability to think, so I blurt out the first random thing that comes to my mind from an earlier event in the day.

"You have two penises like Kisame?"

He practically falls over laughing, and I blush, not sure if that little question was a sexy response or just plain STUPID.

"HAHAHA! Close, but no! I have something BETTER, un."

"Better than having two dicks like a shark?"

"I don't need two dicks. I have FOUR mouths, un."

"NO WAY." As we reach the art room, he just turns to me, holds up his hands, and suddenly I'm staring at two mouths opening on his palms, dangling their tongues out at me. "WAY, un."

"That...is...FUCKING AWESOME!"

He drops his hands back to his sides, closing the extra mouths, and says, "You know, that would have sent any normal person running, un."

I grin, knowing that he's absolutely right and not giving a damn if it proves I'm at least half-crazy. "I'm no "NORMAL" person. And clearly, you aren't either."

"Damn right. So you admit it beats Kisame's "two-in-one" deal, un?"

"HELL YEAH IT DOES! I mean...FUCK, don't read too much into that."

He smirks. "Don't have time to. I'm already late for club, un."

"Oh, like YOU were in any hurry to get here considering how slow we just crossed the school and the long-ass conversation we had."

"Hey, that's cause' getting there's half the fun, so why rush, un?" He flashes me one last sexy look before opening the door and slipping inside.

As I walk back down the hall and towards my friends, I hear two things. First, a guy who sounds like Sasori yells at Deidara for being twenty minutes late. Second, I catch Deidara shout something in Japanese, and then I can SWEAR I hear an explosion...but I might be imagining things.

* * *

**A/N- So, that was awesome, right? :3 Great, so, on to that contest! You know that picture? The one Hidan drew for Savannah? NO, not the one she tore up and threw away! DX The one she's holding onto for safe keeping. ^_^ Your job, if your're entering the contest, which YOU BETTER, is to draw that for me! There are NO rules, NO restrictions, and NO restraints. Meaning, you can draw it HOWEVER you want. The prize for drawing this little piece of art for me? ANYTHING YOU WANT WILL HAPPEN IN THE STORY. I'll write an entire chapter based on your idea, dedicate it to you, and, of course, you'll have my undying love and gratitude forever and ever. ;) But, of course, if your idea's TOO far out there, you know, even for THIS story, I'll still put it in, but as a filler chapter, possibly setting it in an alternate universe or something. The contest will close when I get back from my vacation, which will be around July 1st. HOWEVER, if I have no submissions by then, I'm extending the deadline indefinitely, and THEN whoever the first person to send me their version of the picture is will automatically win. YAYZ! But seriously, July 1st guys. PLEASE! I want that picture! :3 **

**Expect the next update...soon? I hope? Don't worry, I WILL update! Just don't know when right now. I'm stuck doing virtual school this summer and running around doing errands with my mom and grandma, SO...I'll try to get the next chapter done as soon as possible between that crap. PROMISE it won't be TOO long though! Just be patient please guys! :)**


	4. Can't I Just Eat My Nachos In Peace?

**A/N- HEY PEOPLE! :D Guess what? I'm going on vacation in like 5 hours! It's good for me, but, sadly, bad for all of you because it means I PROBABLY won't be able to update for a little while. Meaning...about 2 to 3 weeks. Minimal. I'M SORRY! DX But I'll be relaxing with my family in the Keys and enjoying the GOOD parts of Florida, so PLEASE forgive me! I need the break from life for a while. **

**Anyway, thank you so, SO, SOOOOOOO much to Miko Hayashi and OrigamiBlueAngel for your epic reviews! I love you guys! XD And thanks too to NinjaSakuraHyuga, the real Champayine-chan, who's account I HIGHLY recommend all of you go check out! Her stuff's awesome! Plus, she's writing another story where Deidara and I are together. :3 YAYZ! **

**One last thing...PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE SOMEBODY ENTER MY CONTEST! I know it makes me a perv, but I don't care! :P I wanna know what that picture would look like SO badly. XD Can you blame me? Oh, and if someone from Chili's reads this chapter, can I be payed for promoting your nachos? ^_^ **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, POKEMON, OR CHILI'S! (fuck, this author's note is long... O_o)**

* * *

So, now that I've taken Deidara to the art room (and had a little bit of fun on the way), on to order of business number two: Figuring out exactly what the HELL'S going on, and, oh yeah, taking out my fury on Taylor. I KNOW she has something to do with me being stuck with those Group C Akatsuki guys, and I'm gonna figure out what.

Although, you know, I'm not complaining...this seems like it might work out well for me. I've already made "friends" (if you can call it that, in this case) with Tobi and Kisame, and Deidara...well, I don't know what's going on between us, but I like it. If I wasn't stuck with Group C, I might not have met him, so not all of today's been horrible. In fact, the rest of Group C isn't THAT bad...just Hidan. GOD, I HATE THAT GUY! But even I can't deny he has impressive drawing skills...jerk.

Am I mad at Taylor or not? I don't know, but instead of running up and screaming in her face like I was planning to as I walk over to my friends, my frustrations turn to someone else. So I guess no.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?"

Guess who? Instead of just the usual gang of Taylor, Champ and Neji, there's a few extras. A few extras who I REALLY don't want to see right now.

"HEY, BITCH! I SAW what you did with that picture I gave you, you little slut!"

Yep. It's Hidan. And for some reason, Itachi is with him. Both of them are sitting next to Champ, and she looks thrilled about the new pair of freaks. Neji, on the other hand, does NOT.

I realize Taylor's my ally against these three guys, or at least Hidan, when she steps in to defend me.

"HEY! DON'T TALK TO MY CHIBI LIKE THAT, YOU ASSHOLE!"

Oh, THANK YOU Taylor. Now we have a common enemy. I decide to help defend myself from this fucktard saying any more crap to me, cause' with Taylor here, he can't do shit about it.

"Yeah, Hidan, I'm sick of you calling me a bitch, your bitch, and other people's bitch! JUST SHUT UP! And how would YOU know what I did with the picture?"

He gives me that creepy smirky smile and answers my question, though in hindsight, I should have known he would do something disturbing like this.

"How the hell do you THINK I know? I fucking followed you when you walked away, bitch! You unfolded it, got a HUGE fucking nosebleed, then shoved it in your bag!"

"HEY! I TOLD YOU: DON'T. TALK. TO. MY. CHIBI. LIKE. THAT!"

Ooooh, he made Taylor MAD. This should be fun.

"HA! What are YOU gonna do about it, OTHER bitch?"

"I am GOING to kick your ass for saying shit like that to Savannah, who is MY chibi, unless you decide to APOLOGIZE RIGHT FUCKING NOW."

"I'm part of the Akatsuki! What the FUCK can YOU do?"

"This. Get up," she commands him, but, it being Hidan and all, he refuses to budge.

She gets to her feet. "Are you DEAF too now besides just fucking STUPID? I said, GET YOUR ASS UP."

Surprisingly, he obeys the command. This IS Taylor, so he doesn't have much choice in the matter.

"Alright, I'm up! NOW what are you gonna fuckin' do?"

"THIS."

Taylor made a point of wearing her combat boots today. She usually does on days when she plans on kicking someone's ass. Which made it that much sweeter to watch her next move. She kicked Hidan as hard as she could, right where it hurts a man most. Wearing those very same combat boots.

"OH FUCK!" he shouts, going down on one knee and holding his now very wounded crotch.

Everybody gratefully breaks into laughter at watching Hidan suffer, and, can it POSSIBLY be? Even the Uchiha over there looks like he's suppressing a smile. Champ claps her hands in glee, squealing, "YAY! BOOT-TO-THE-BALLS NO JUTSU! Good job, Taylor!"

Neji approves too. "Yes, now can things PLEASE go back to normal? I see why Savannah was upset..."

"THANK YOU, Neji. And thanks, Taylor, that was awesome."

She looks unsatisfied, tapping the same foot she just kicked Hidan with impatiently for him to get up.

"FIGHT ME YOU ASS! The Boot-to-the-Balls no jutsu was just the beginning!"

He growls at her, then springs up and retrieves his scythe. "OH, YOU'LL REGRET THAT, BITCH!"

He lunges at her with his giant ass weapon, swinging it at her face barbarically. She gracefully dodges, using the momentum to kick him hard again in the ribs as he sails past her. He turns and charges back at her, flailing the scythe like a madman on crack, her just sidestepping and hopping out of the blades' way distractedly during the barrage of attacks. During one of his wild swings, she ducks under the blades, springing back up and punching him in the face.

"BITCH!"

He swings in a wide arc towards her again with the weapon, missing her completely and instead winds up planting the scythe into the wall right above our heads.

"HEY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AIMING?" I scream at him as he tries desperately like the dumbass he is to yank it back out of where it's now stuck.

"FUCK! SHUT UP BITCH, OR I'LL SHOW EVERYONE THAT PICTURE I GAVE YOU!"

As he finally gets the damn scythe unwedged, it's already too late. Between his retarded move just now and what he said to me, he's done. Taylor's pressing her Swiss army knife up against his throat, and it's beyond clear who's win this is.

"For the last time: DON'T talk to my chibi like that."

She says this in an extremely cool, deadly manner that only a badass like her can pull off, pushing the blade deeper into his neck until a thin trail of blood runs out from where it rests on his skin.

"OKAY, OKAY, YOU FUCKING WIN, BITCH!"

"AND?"

"AND I WON'T TALK SHIT TO YOUR "CHIBI" ANYMORE!"

She removes the knife, still looking warily at him.

"At least, while she's around YOU..."

Taylor points the blade towards his face quickly, letting it hover just centimeters from his nose.

"NO. You will do it NEVER. Do I MAKE myself CLEAR?"

"ALRIGHT! I FUCKIN' GET IT! Now get that thing out of my face before you poke someone's fucking eye out!"

"Keep pushing me and it'll be yours, you ass," she threatens him as she puts the knife back in her pocket. He just grunts angrily and decides to plop down next to me. In Taylor's spot. Another bad idea on his part.

"MOVE dumbass, that's MY spot."

"AW, COME THE FUCK ON! Can't I even fucking SIT by her?"

"One: NO, YOU CAN'T. And Two: that's MY spot. MOVE YOUR ASS, before I THROW you out of my way."

He repeatedly says the F-word like 20 times as he stomps over and sits next to Itachi, as far away from Taylor and I as possible. YAY.

I'm about to randomly apologize for being mad at her earlier, when Taylor suddenly hugs me. WHAT THE...

"Oh, Savannah, I'm sorry you got stuck with a jerk like that in your 1st period! He didn't hurt you, did he?"

WOW. This is unexpected. Taylor only breaks her rule about physical contact when she's fighting, like before, or when she's seriously worried or concerned about someone.

"Um, no, he, uh, didn't...why are you hugging me?"

"Because I'd never forgive myself if something happened to my chibi! Now really, say yes, so I can kick this guy's ass twice as hard."

I laugh, and she pulls away with a serious look on her face.

"No, Taylor, Hidan is...cool. We're not "friends," but you don't really have to kick his ass again."

Hidan shouts over to me from the other side of the group.

"After drawing you that second picture, I should be more than "cool." I'm FUCKING AWESOME, BIT-," he almost calls me a bitch again, but cuts himself off after Taylor shoots him a death glare.

"What's this "picture" he keeps talking about?"

Oh, how can I dodge THIS? Wait, I know!

"Well, let's just say...he's Katie's new rival in the "visual arts" department."

Her face lights up with realization. "OHHH, I get it. Wait, you HATE the things Katie draws...what-"

"Don't worry about it! It's nothing! Really!" I change the subject quickly to keep her from asking anything else about Hidan's little "masterpiece." "So, Taylor, um...do you know why exactly I got stuck with Group C in my 1st period? Mr. Goldstone said that Tsunade..."

She decides to change my change of subject to something else entirely. "Yeah, yeah, I'll try to explain all that later. First tell me how things went just now."

"Huh? You mean with Deidara?"

Hidan interrupts with his very crude opinion. "She's his bitch! How the fuck do you THINK it went?"

Taylor and I both scream at him," SHUT UP HIDAN!" before I continue. "It went well...and wait, WHAT exactly did you tell him before?"

She avoids answering the question the same way he did earlier. "You'll find out later."

I raise an eyebrow at her, not liking whatever secret they plan on keeping from me.

"So, what did you guys talk about on the way to the art room?"

"Well, first I asked what you guys were planning, and...um...then we talked about the Akatsuki and Pokemon, and then...um...there was some other stuff."

"I gave him your phone number. I deserve some more details than that."

"Fine..."

"Wait, hold on!"

She pulls out a bag of goldfish crackers, her favorite food, and throws a handful in her mouth. "Okay, now tell me."

"I...think we were, uh, flirting a bit."

"You "think?" God, you need to get out more Savannah."

"S-shut up! I'm not used to that kind of thing, I guess."

Hidan butts in again. "Hey! I was "flirting" with you this morning when I told you I wanted to fuck you up!"

"That wasn't "flirting" you dumbass, that was sexual harassment! Now, where was I?" I turn back to Taylor. "He told me he has something better than Kisame."

"The shark dude?"

I grin at her. "And what do sharks have?~"

"Oh god, WHY did your bio teacher have to tell you guys that? You're obsessed with the fact that-"

"SAY IT!"

" "Sharks have two penises.""

I start laughing at my little obsession with the fact that sharks have two dicks, and Taylor just sweatdrops.

"You asked Kisame if he has two, didn't you?"

I snicker evilly and answer through my retarded laughter, "...MAAAYBE. But I specifically told him I wasn't hitting on him, so it's okay!"

She sweatdrops again and shakes her head. "You have NO SHAME, you know that?"

"SO? You don't either!"

She smirks. "TRUE. So then, what does DEIDARA have?"

"Four mouths!"

"Really? Did you see them?"

"Yeah, he has one on each hand!" A sudden realization hits me. "But he didn't show me where the fourth one is...huh."

"I bet you wish you knew where it was.~"

I blush and attempt to ignore her comment. "SO, Taylor, WHY'D you give him my number?"

"Oh, like you're not thrilled? And be thankful I didn't give it to Hidan too, he asked for it when I gave it to Deidara."

At the mention of his name and asking for my phone number, Hidan shouts yet another unpleasant thing at me.

"Yeah, gimme your fuckin' number so I can sext you pictures of my dick!"

"OH GOD, SHUT THE FUCK UP HIDAN! I don't want you to sext me pictures of your dick! Or ANY other part of your ugly-ass body!"

"Oh, but if it was DEIDARA you'd be all over that shit!"

I turn crimson and smash my head into the wall, wishing that all these idiots would stop saying shit like that already. Really, this doesn't concern Hidan, Taylor, Champ, or WHOEVER else wants to disect my love life like some specimen for them to study. Just shut up!

Taylor continues to munch on her goldfish as she finally addresses my original question. "Hey, Savannah, I'll tell you why you're with those guys in your 1st."

I just groan, my face still firmly planted in the wall, so she takes it as an "okay" and continues.

"Well, you see, you've heard part of the story from Goldstone, right?"

I mumble an "Uh-huh" to answer her question.

"The truth is...when they were trying to figure out who was compatible to be stuck with them, they found one other person besides me. That would be you. So...uh...how to put this?..."

I sense something I REALLY don't want to hear is coming, and I glance over at her from the corner of my eye.

"They kinda offered me a little "vacation" period from them...so I took it."

I sigh against the wall in exasperation, then raise my head and look at her exhaustedly.

"I'm sorry I made them your problem too!" She raises her pressed together hands in the universal "I'm sorry" gesture with an apologetic look on her face, and, amazingly, I find myself forgiving her. I mean, like I said before, they aren't THAT bad. Except for Hidan.

"Taylor...it's cool. I don't mind."

She blinks at me in confusion and cocks her head to the side. "Wait...you're not mad at me?"

"Well, you could always have, you know, WARNED me, but..."

She hugs me suddenly, overjoyed that I've accepted being thrown into the lion's den, so to speak.

"Thank god you're not mad at me! I thought you were gonna be SO pissed when you found out!"

I awkwardly hug her back, finding it impossible to still be pissed at her at all after she kicked Hidan's ass for me AND told the truth about everything. "Aw, it's okay. Just TRY to keep Hidan in line, and I won't have a problem with the whole situation."

She lets go of me and pats the pocket where the Swiss army knife she used to threaten Hidan with is concealed. "If he even LOOKS at you wrong, you tell me. I'll kick his ass twice as hard as before. Cause' NOBODY messes with my chibi. You hear me Hidan?"

Hidan was apparently too busy talking to Champ about whatever-the-hell, cause' he didn't hear a damn thing Taylor just said.

"What the FUCK did I do NOW?"

"I'm just saying: You bother my chibi, you die. Got it?"

"YEAH, I FUCKING GOT IT!"

"I better hear from Savannah that you were a MODEL student tommorow in 1st. NO "bitch" comments, no threats of you planning on raping her, no..."

"FUCK! ALRIGHT, ALREADY!"

"Good Hidan." She throws him a Goldfish.

"What da' fuck is this thing?"

"A Goldfish. You eat it," she explains, popping one into her mouth to demonstrate.

"SWEET! FREE FOOD!" He noisily crunches the poor Goldfish into smithereens and makes one last comment. "Savannah and I'll get along JUST fine, as long as I keep drawing her PICTURES." He smirks at me, implying that if I keep my damn mouth shut and don't go crying to Taylor, he'll draw me more pornographic pictures of me and a certain Akatsuki member. FUCKING JERK using my weakness to his advantage!

RIIING! The bell for 5th period sounds, and we all stand up and gather our stuff. Meaning, Hidan picks up his giant ass scythe and heaves it over his shoulder, Taylor puts her Goldfish away and checks to make sure she has her trusty knife, and I grab my bag before the two of them decide to do something else crazy. But before I head off with Neji and Champ to 5th and Taylor is damned to the rest of the day with the Akatsuki, I remember to tell her something important.

"Hey Taylor, I'm bringing a Fucking Cookie tomorrow, so you'd BETTER be here at lunch!"

"OH SWEET! I wouldn't miss that for the world! Hey, maybe you could invite Deidara to eat it with us."

"Good idea!"

As Taylor, Itachi and Hidan walk away, I hear a certain asshole loudly say to himself, "I'd like to take a bite of HER Fucking Cookie." Taylor punches him in the arm and stomps on his foot with her boots as punishment for the crude comment, but he just laughs as the three of them walk away. JERK. I turn around to Neji scowling and Champ looking like she's just won the lottery.

"Savannah-chan! Guess what?"

I facepalm as the three of us head towards our 5th periods outside. "Champ, just tell me. I don't feel like guessing right now."

She bounces up and down as we're walking, overflowing with excitement as she says, "Hidan is my new best friend! And Itachi is my nii-san!"

"I approve of NEITHER of these things, for the record," Neji cuts in.

"Well, this should be interesting..." I mumble to myself as Champ proceeds to tell me all about how well she's getting along with that porn-drawing dumbfuck and that stuck-up Uchiha bastard as we wander to the portables. Why ANYONE would want a "best friend" or a nii-san like those, I have NO IDEA...

* * *

Ah~ It's such a nice day. I just got out of my 5th period, and I'm enjoying my walk in the open air to my other portable class. The birds are singing, there's a pleasant breeze blowing to kill the Florida heat, the sun is shining, and for the first time in this entire insane day, I almost feel at peace. ALMOST. Except...I can't shake the feeling that I'm being followed.

I glance back to check, but there's no one there that I can see. I keep walking and try to ignore it, but, no, I'm PRETTY sure someone or something is tailing me from a distance. I've been hanging around these ninjas long enough to learn a thing or two about sensing others, and right now, the sensations of being both watched and followed are undeniably strong. I whip around to try to catch the creeper in the act, but, again, nothing. DAMN YOU, whoever you are, and your stupid shinobi abilities!

I start walking again, a little bit faster than before to try to get away from the freak following me, and I refuse to look back again till' I'm at the foot of the ramp to my 6th period. I cast a long, wary glance around the area, attempting to determine if it's safe to go in, but I only see a couple of other innocent people heading to class, so I guess it is.

I quickly head up the ramp and fling the door open, stepping inside to be greeted by my normal Psychology teacher, Mr. Graham, who I had a PRETTY good feeling would be spared from Tsunade's wrath. He's my favorite teacher, just because he's a classic Florida man: laid-back, loves fishing, and would live on his boat in the Keys if he didn't have to teach us about mental disorders for a living. Plus, he's incredibly nice, chillaxed 24/7, and NEVER freaks out or gets angry the way a normal teacher would.

"Hey Savannah, what's up?"

A normal teacher would DEFINITELY have gotten mad at what I did next. I slam the door shut behind me and answer Mr. Graham in a hurry, ending with a question of my own.

"Hey Mr. Graham, uh, not much, hey, can you lock the door please? I think I'm being followed or something by some psychopath."

He raises an eyebrow and casually responds, "Well, if it's one of the ninjas, you know that won't do much good. A locked door's a joke to them."

I sigh heavily and give up my not-so-brilliant plan. "That's true..."

"SAVANNAH-CHAN! HI!"

"OVER HERE, JERRY-GIRL!"

The disappointment at having my plan shot down disappears when my favorite pair of idiots calls out to me from across the room. "NARUTO! JUAN!"

Oh god, I'm SO happy to see these knuckleheads right now. I dash over to them and glomp them at top speed, squeezing the life out of them as I blurt out a long string of descriptions about my day.

"OH MY GOD I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU GUYS!"

I notice footsteps coming up the ramp outside, but am too relieved by seeing these two to pay any attention.

"I"VE BEEN HAVING THE WEIRDEST DAY EVER, IT STARTED AFTER I SAW YOU GUYS THIS MORNING-"

The door opens and someone steps in, but I'm too bust ranting to these guys to see who it is.

"MY 1ST PERIOD WAS SO MESSED UP, I GOT STUCK WITH THOSE GROUP C MANIACS-"

"Uh, Savannah-chan?..."

"NOT NOW, NARUTO, JUST LET ME RANT ABOUT THAT CLASS FROM HELL FILLED WITH ASSHOLES AND DOUCHEBAGS-"

"Er, Jerry-girl, you-"

"NOT NOW JUAN! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO-"

I'm successfully cut off from my insane venting session by a tap on the shoulder. "I REALLY hope you're not talking about ME, un."

Oh, FUCK. I know that voice...

"Um...HI Deidara...how much of that did you hear?" I look up at him guiltily, still crushing Naruto and Juan in a post-glomp hug.

"All of it, un."

"Oh...um...I'm sorry?" I say, standing up to face him. He smirks at me.

"You don't have to be sorry...unless you were talking about me, un."

"I wasn't! I was mostly just talking about Hidan and the Uchiha," I blurt out quickly, not wanting him to be mad at me.

"That's what I thought, un."

I suddenly realize something obvious, putting two and two together. "Hey, wait! YOU were the person following me!"

He grins at my accusation and admits to being a stalker. "Yeah, I was. You almost caught me in the act a few times too, un."

"WHY?"

"Cause', I had nowhere else to go, so I followed you, un."

"What do you mean, "nowhere else to go?" Aren't you supposed to be with Taylor and the REST of Group C?"

"Originally, yes. But 6th period's art, and now, thanks to fucking Sasori, I've been banned from the art room. For life, un."

"Banned for LIFE? What the hell did you DO?"

"What you're SUPPOSED to do in art club: I made art, un!"

"Wow, the ginger really DOES have no soul if he did that. What a jerk."

"He's not just a "jerk," he's a whiny little asshole who can't appreciate TRUE art, un!"

Mr. Graham, after watching a complete and total stranger walk into his class dressed in a suspicious outfit who's part of the infamous Group C and CLEARLY the person who was following me, FINALLY decides to say something. "Hey, young man, since you're Savannah's friend I won't make you leave, but can you come talk to me for a minute?"

Deidara heads over to Mr. Graham while I take my seat in the back by the windows behind Naruto and Juan. The two of them exchange a funny look, then both turn to me with huge grins on their faces and shout "SAVANNAH-CHAN'S GOT A BOYFRIEND!"

"WHA? SHUT UP, YOU IDIOTS!"

They continue, sinking to an idiotic low that only THIS pair of dumbasses would turn to at this age.

"SAVANNAH AND DEIDARA SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-"

I slam my hands over their mouths to just MAKE IT STOP. Really, who stoops THAT low in high school? "I SAID SHUT UP, GUYS. What if he hears you?" I angrily whisper to them under my breath. I glance over to see if he noticed, but apparently not, considering he's still animatedly talking to Mr. Graham. I remove my hands from the idiots' mouths, mercifully allowing them to talk again.

"So, Savannah-chan, IS he your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, Jerry-girl, tell us! We want details!"

"NO, you bakas, can't you take a hint?" I lower my voice and continue. "Look, I love you guys, really, but can we PLEASE just have a normal conversation about something stupid NOT related to people's relationship statuses like we USUALLY do?"

"But Savannah-chan, if you like him, we can help you! DATEBAYO!"

"How, Naruto?"

"Like this..." Deidara walks back over to where we're sitting and takes the desk to my left, giving Naruto the opportunity he needed.

"HEY YOU! Do you like Savannah-chan?"

I jump in and yell at Naruto for doing what I JUST asked him NOT to do. "NARUTO, this doesn't concern you!"

Deidara doesn't seem fazed by his question, but his answer does shock me. "None of your business, NINE TAILS, un."

Nine tails? What does he mean...?

"AAAGH! You...you're one of those Akatsuki guys who's out to kill me!"

"Hm. If you know that much, maybe you're not quite as dumb as the reports made you out to be, un."

I jump in, making an attempt to break the sudden tension between them and the confusion that I'm feeling. "Um, guys, can you PLEASE not kill each other? Mr. Graham doesn't want blood all over his portable, and I REALLY don't want to have to pick a side here, so...uh...truce?"

They glance at me then back to each other, and I'm expecting them to either lunge at each other's throats or shake hands, when Deidara says something unexpected.

"Couldn't kill him now even if I wanted to. Leader-sama says this is our "vacation" from chasing down the jinchuriki, which means that if any of us tried something, we'd get our asses kicked, un."

He looks over at me, and at his mention of the word "jinchuriki," I start to understand what's going on here.

"So Naruto's one of those Pokemon people you were talking about?"

"Pokemon people? What are you talking about, Savannah-chan?"

Deidara almost falls out of his seat he's laughing so hard at how stupid I'm sure Naruto and I sound as we proceed to compare the Akatsuki's mission to an awesome yet somewhat childish video game.

"Well, from what I've heard, the Akatsuki are like Pokemon trainers who have to catch all the jinchuriki, who are like Pokemon, and use their powers to take over the world."

Naruto looks REALLY confused now, and he builds on my already ridiculous analogy.

"No, no, Savannah-chan, you've got it backwards a little bit! Us jinchuriki are more like the poke balls that HOLD the Pokemon, and if the Akatsuki catch us and kill us, THEN they can use the Pokemon when they take them out of us."

"So...the Akatsuki are trying to catch poke balls?"

"NO, well, YES, kinda, but we can evolve and get stronger just like Pokemon by using the power of the biju within us."

"Wait...the poke balls evolve INTO Pokemon?"

"NO! Uh, YES! We're both the poke balls and the Pokemon themselves at the same time! DATEBAYO!"

"Ugh, I'm lost, does this have anything to do with Pokemon or not?"

Deidara stops laughing to answer my question the same way he did earlier. "I told you, it does, if Pokemon were real and could take over the world. We just have to rip them out of the jinchurikis' dead, lifeless bodies, un."

Before this conversation can possibly get any more awkward for poor Naruto or me, I decide to change the subject. "So, Deidara, what did my teacher want with you before?"

"I think you mean OUR teacher. He just added me to the class roster, un."

"WHAT?"

"Hey, I told him what I told you: I've been banned from my own 6th period for life. I had to go somewhere, so I followed you here, un."

"And he was just, like, COOL with this?"

He shrugs, and I raise my hand to ask Mr. Graham something I'm suddenly DYING to know. Class has been going on for about 5 minutes, and he stops his heated lecture about Freud's psychosexual stages to call on me.

"Yes, Savannah?"

"Um, Mr. Graham, this has NOTHING to do with Freud, but what horrible psychological disorder does a guy have when he stalks an innocent girl to her 6th period class then acts like it's a totally normal thing to do?"

He gives me the kind of look an adult would shoot a small child asking a very stupid question, and just says, "That? That's just the "disorder" called love. Now, back to Freud..."

"LOVE? Mr. Graham, COME ON! I'm serious!" He ignores my response to his answer and proceeds to continue his little speech about one of the craziest men who ever lived and his theories. Seriously, hearing all about Freud makes the Akatsuki almost look sane. ALMOST. Except Hidan's even more obsessed about sex than he ever was.

Suprisingly, after I asked that little question, everybody decided to settle down and actually listen to the psychology lecture instead of teasing me about Deidara's apparent "love" that he showed by stalking me to my class and getting himself added to the roster. But I think part of the silence was caused by Naruto's fear of getting killed, Deidara possibly planning HOW to kill him eventually, and Juan, of course, playing Temple Run on his iPhone the whole time.

What, you thought THOSE three would be paying attention? I was, though. Hearing about Freud helped me to take my mind off of all the stupid ass things people have been saying about Deidara and I today. That I'm "his bitch," that we're "in love," and then the fact that him and Taylor have god-knows-what still planned...ugh. Not looking forward to that. But I AM looking forward to going to Chili's after school with just Taylor and Champ, my two best friends in the world, without any ninja boyfriends, Akatsuki members, or crazy teachers to ruin it. And, best of all, NO HIDAN! WOOT! Or Uchihas.

I'm so lost in these happy thoughts of hanging out with my two favorite people at my favorite restaurant that when the bell for 7th rings, I'm shocked back into reality. I gather my stuff and toss it in my bag, but as I'm standing up to walk out with Naruto and Juan, they dash out the door, leaving me with Deidara. The last thing they shout as they leave is, "GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND SAVANNAH-CHAN/JERRY-GIRL!"

Oh, those idiots are gonna pay for this.

"So, they think I'm your boyfriend, and our teacher thinks I'm in love with you...what did you tell them, un?"

I blush and turn to look at him as we head for the door that those dumbasses just ran out of.

"Nothing! Those two idiots, Mr. Graham, Taylor, Champayine, and HIDAN," I spit his name out like it's a curse word, "just don't know how to stay out of other people's damn business."

He smirks and glances over at me. "They all sound like Sasori...impatient for something to happen, un."

"Yeah, exactly. It's not like you can rush these kinds of things..."

"Heh. Rushing's no fun. It's more amusing to keep people waiting, un."

"Hmm...that makes sense. And hey," I suddenly remember to ask him something that had been bothering me, "you never showed me where your fourth mouth is."

He stops walking and gives me his sexy look, taking a step towards me. "You wanna know where it is, un?"

"Yeah. Show me."

"Can't show you this one. It's too dangerous, un."

"So...tell me? Please?"

"I can't show you, but I'll do something better than just tell you, un."

He reaches out towards me and takes my hand, raises it to his chest, and places it on a spot not too far from his heart on the left side of his body. "It's here, un."

Amazingly, instead of freaking out or having a stroke from the physical contact he just initiated, I manage to keep my cool and ask him something else. "Why can't I see this one?"

His expression turns from seductive to serious, and his grip on my hand tightens. "I told you, it's dangerous. I have it sown up, and I'll only remove the stitches if I'm forced to create the ultimate art in battle, un."

"What is "the ultimate art?""

He lets go of my hand, but I don't pull away. "That's a secret. But I'll tell you this: It's an EXPLOSION, un." He grins and winks at me sexily, and I smile up at him as I run my hand over the spot on his chest where he placed it.

"An explosion, huh? That's an interesting way to describe your art." I finally remove my hand, and he smiles at me, saying one last thing before walking in the opposite direction that I have to head.

"I'll show you sometime. See ya later, un."

I call out a "Bye" to him, but it takes me till' I'm halfway to my 7th and last period to realize that he implied we'd be seeing each other again today. Although I can't deny I'm thrilled at the thought of the next time I'll get to be around him, I KNOW it'll be because of whatever weirdness Taylor planned to happen. As I walk to my final class of the day, I find myself absentmindedly running the fingers of my other hand over the one that he just held, craving another chance to be touched by him soon...

* * *

"Table for three, please!~" I happily say to the waitress when we walk into Chili's, just me and my best friends, and I smile sweetly at her as she directs us to sit wherever we want. I turn to my friends and ask, "So, where do you guys wanna sit?"

Taylor wanders to a booth near the bar and sits down, answering, "Right here. I'm close to the bar, and you guys can watch the soccer match on the big screen TVs." We follow her lead, Champ sitting by her, leaving me an entire side of the table to myself.

I stretch out and use this opportunity to finally unwind the ball of tension that's been steadily growing inside of me all day, leaning back into the comfy seat and relaxing. The waitress comes back and asks what we want to drink, me ordering my favorite: sweet blackberry tea, while Taylor gets a rainbow margarita and Champ gets a lemonade. Before the server comes back, I strike up a conversation, although they change the subject right away afterward.

"It's so nice to be here with you guys, just the three of us hanging out, isn't it? No Group C, no Hidan, no pervy teachers, no Hidan, no ninja boyfriends, and best of all: NO HIDAN!" I grin and punch the air at this last part, and I look to see their reactions.

They blink at me, then, of course, they have to take turns with a little inquisition into my personal life. Champ goes first, practically jumping over the table to ask me, "So, so, how are things going with that guy you like? Has he asked you out? Did YOU ask HIM out?"

And so it begins...AGAIN.

I slam my head against the table and groan loudly in frustration at yet another attempt by someone I know to invade my thoughts about Deidara. "Look, Champ, I was looking forward to this so that the three of us could get AWAY from ninjas and pretty much ALL mention of them, okay?"

"NO, it's not okay! We wanna know! Right, Taylor?"

She's too busy texting someone to really pay attention to Champ right now, so she distractedly says "Uh-huh" and goes back to contacting whoever.

"Tell us!"

I attempt to shift the focus to her, if people's relationships are the current topic. "So, uh, Champ, how are things with you and Neji?"

She scowls at me for using such a half-assed attempt to change the conversation. "You JUST saw us together this morning, Savannah. How do you THINK it's going?"

"Um, great! It's fantastic, right? Let's talk about you guys!"

She shakes her head back and forth quickly. "Oh no! You're NOT getting out of telling us THAT easily! Now spill!"

I sigh, deciding to cave a bit here, and look at her. "You wanna know? FINE! I'll tell you, but only a LITTLE of the story."

"YAY! Tell us, Savannah-chan! And don't leave out any details!"

"I just said a LITTLE. That's all your getting out of me during this meal, or ever."

"Fiiiine. Just get on with it!"

The drinks arrive, and I purposely take an incredibly slow, long sip of my tea to stall while I try to think of what I can say to satisfy Champ without giving too much away.

"Alright. At this point, all I know is, I like him, he likes me, and we both agree we're not going to do anything just because other people tell us to. Happy?" She takes a sip of her lemonade and glares at me.

"NO! I pretty much knew all that stuff already! I. Want. DETAILS."

Damn. I thought that was the perfect dodge. NOW what am I supposed to say?

"Um...he has four mouths..."

Her eyes light up and her jaw drops. "REALLY? Wait, how would YOU know?"

"Cause' he kinda...um...showed me."

"Sweet! Where are they?"

"Well, he has one on each hand, and one on his chest."

"That is SO COOL! Isn't that cool, Taylor?" Taylor's still too busy texting someone to pay any attention to Champ, so she just says "Yep, that's cool" and goes back to what she's doing. And really, would it KILL her to help me out here?

The waitress comes back for our orders, successfully pausing the conversation for a few seconds while Taylor gets a steak, Champ orders a burger, and I go for my favorite: NACHOS! The server lady heads off with our order, and Champ jumps right back to where we were before.

"So! What else?"

I try telling her something else that happened today that might interest her. "Hey, Champ, I kinda need to apologize to you for something I did..."

"Huh? What did you do?"

Distraction SUCCESSFUL.

"Well, I kinda took my anger our on Neji in our 2nd period after this one guy, Hidan, pissed me off really badly in my 1st. I'm sorry."

She looks stunned that I would yell at her precious boyfriend, but brushes it right off with her next comment. "Oh, I'm sure it's fine, as long as you apologized to him."

"I did! But that Hidan guy I mentioned before is horrible! I had to take my anger out on SOMEONE."

"Savannah...I've met Hidan. Remember? At lunch? He's my new best friend."

FUCK. I completely forgot she knows Hidan.

"Oh...right...I totally forgot..." I nervously laugh while Champ stares me down and Taylor keeps on typing. Seriously, WHO has she been texting over there this whole time?

"Your attempts at changing the subject are REALLY starting to fail."

"Because I REALLY don't want to talk about this anymore! I've already told you everything anyway!"

"Nope, you haven't! What did you guys talk about? Why'd it take you so long to get back from the art room? What happened in 6th period?"

"Wait, how do YOU know about 6th period?"

She points at Taylor and grins. "Taylor told me! She said he was banned from the art room, so he went off to find you!"

I facepalm and grumble into my hand, "God forbid the events that take place in my life STAY in my life."

She either doesn't hear me or chooses to ignore me (I'm guessing the latter), pushing me even further out of my comfort zone. "But the fact that he followed you PROVES he likes you! So tell us what happened!"

"Actually, it was more like "stalking," and that could just prove he's insane. Although, even my teacher interpreted it as love..."

"See? He loves you! You two should go out!"

"So suddenly his feelings have gone from "like" to "love?" It's been one day people! ONE. FREAKING. DAY!"

"So? A lot can happen in a day! Neji-kun and I fell in love in a day, and look at us!"

Ugh. Is she trying to be encouraging with that comment? I might not know where things may or may not go between us, but I know sure as HELL that we would NEVER end up all lovey-dovey like those two. They're cute, but would him or I want that? FUCK NO.

"Uh, Champayine, we aren't like you guys. Rushing's not our style."

She blinks at me in confusion, tilting her head to the side and giving me a lost look. "Rushing? Neji and I weren't rushing. Things just kinda happened that way."

I've been stiring my drink with my straw, and once she says this, I whip it out of my tea and point it at her accusingly. "Exactly! That's my point RIGHT THERE! Everybody has their own pace, and both of us agree that you can't just rush into these kinds of things."

A shadow passes over my face and my voice becomes a weak whisper with my next words.

"Besides...we all know where that got me to before..."

I'm trembling now, almost on the verge of crying as I force both them and myself to remember one of my darkest times. "...It was a very, very dark place...and I never want to go back there again."

Silence descends upon the table, and Taylor and Champ share a concerned look before turning to me. Taylor puts the phone down for the first time, giving me her full attention, taking the opportunity to remind me of a promise she made last semester.

"You KNOW I would have beaten the fucking life out of that bastard if you'd given me the okay. You never even told me what he did, but that wouldn't have stopped me. It still wouldn't now. I don't need a reason. Just tell me to go, and he's a dead man."

I raise my head to face her and give a weak shake. "No...it's in the past...it doesn't matter now..."

Taylor slams her hands down on the table and leans towards me. "BULLSHIT it doesn't matter now! If the memory of him still bothers you, then HE still pisses me off, and I STILL wanna kick his ass!"

Champayine steps in, trying to remedy both the current situation and what she said before. "Savannah-chan, we KNOW that guy did something bad to you. It's okay that you won't tell it what it is, but PLEASE...don't give up on love because of it! That only means you're letting him WIN!"

Tears pool in the corners of my eyes at hearing these kind and passionate words from the two people I trust and care about more than any others in the world. "Thanks guys. It...it means a lot that you both care. More than you'll ever know."

I wipe the tears out of my eyes quickly before they can spill over and run down my face, remarking, "FUCK, I hate crying. Pretend you never saw that."

I turn my attention back to Champ, agreeing with the last thing she said. "And yeah, you're right Champ. I'm NOT going to let him win. BUT I'm not going to compromise a good thing or myself again by turning weak and needy by becoming dependent on a demon for love. NOT that Deidara's like that, but...I have to be cautious now."

Taylor takes a long swig of her margarita, slamming it back onto the table. "I don't see why I can't just fucking kill him. No one likes him anyway, except for the sluts."

She realizes the error of what she just implied and corrects it fast. "UM, I MEAN, like, the preppy cheerleader fanclub of sluts he has. I didn't mean you Savannah!"

I sweatdrop and look at her again. "No, no, it's cool. I guess I'm KINDA like one of those sluts, considering, well...I USED to like him."

She jumps halfway over the table and hugs me, shaking me back and forth. "No no no no no! MY chibi is NOT a slut of ANY kind! Don't think like that!"

"Yeah, Savannah-chan, you're nothing like those girls! They just want him to fuck them up cause' he's the star quarterback of the football team. You dated him, cause', well, you loved him."

Taylor's violent shaking is making my brain hurt, and so is what Champ just implied. "Taylor, stop shaking me! And Champ, looking back on it now, I can CLEARLY see that I wasn't "in love" with him. I was just in love with the concept of being loved, no matter who it was or if it was a lie. Does that make sense?"

"Umm...sorta."

Taylor, now back in her place on the other side of the table, decides to lay the truth out in pretty plain terms. "Well...whether you "loved" him or not, you DO realize that he never "loved" you...right?"

Champayine, for whatever reason (probably her undying faith in the concept of love), defends him a bit. "Taylor! That's mean! I'm sure he, um, cared at least a little bit...right?" She turns to me, and after taking another long sip of my tea, I answer her.

"No, Champayine. Taylor's right. The only thing he ever "cared" about was using me. He only pretended to care when it was convenient for him, or when he wanted something from me."

She has no rebuttal to my statement, though I'm sure she wants to insert some "power of love" remark here. I'm sick of this discussion that's only causing us all pain, so I take the opportunity to switch back to the lighter side of the original point.

"Look, I'm just asking you guys to...not push me into a relationship with Deidara too fast. I mean, it's not that I don't trust you two, or him, but...he said himself that rushing is a waste of time. It's impatient and foolish, and I agree with him. Plus, unlike that other guy, I think both of us could have real feelings for each other...and I don't wanna fuck that up."

Before either of them can respond to my little speech, the waitress comes back, giving us each our meals and leaving again. The sight of fresh food perks all of us up after the mini angst fest we just got through, and I excitedly shout, "ALRIGHT! NACHOS!" before biting off a chunk of Chili's delicious chips and looking back to my friends.

Taylor smiles suddenly as she checks her phone again, commenting "Perfect timing" to no one in particular as she puts it away.

"Hmm? What do you mean "perfect timing," Taylor?"

She looks behind me to the entrance and says "Give it a few seconds," and just as I'm about to look back to find out what she's talking about, an all-too-familiar voice stops me short.

"Hey cool, nachos. Can I have some, un?"

I look up to Deidara grinning at me, and I turn to Taylor for an explanation, though I'm pretty sure now that THIS is that thing they had planned. She shouts "Surprise!" and I scowl at her.

"Really? THIS is what you two had planned? You could have just told me." I glance back to Deidara.

"This is what you meant by that one thing you said, isn't it?"

He smirks at me and pretends to play dumb. "I have NO idea what you're talking about, un."

"Oh really? NO idea? Does a certain comment about "putting things in your mouth and swallowing" ring a bell?"

Taylor grins and feigns shock in response to my restating of Deidara's quote from earlier. "WHOA dude, what did you tell her?"

He looks from her to me, obviously enjoying this little joke of his. "Hey, I was talking about FOOD. I don't know what SHE was thinking, un."

I jump to defend myself from his implication that I'm a huge pervert who was turning what he said INTO an innuendo, when it was CLEARLY already one. "ANYBODY would have thought you meant something weird!"

He shrugs, asking his original question again after brushing off what I just said in self-defense. "Think what you want, but seriously, can I have some nachos, un?"

I sigh and slide over in the booth to give him room, pushing the nachos to him as he sits down. "Sure, why not? You're here now, so help yourself."

I answer him calmly and nonchalantly, but inside, I'm secretly thrilled that Taylor invited him here. Seriously, if nothing fucks this up, it could be a great chance to hang out with him. Almost like a dinner date...sorta. Only with my best friends here too.

He takes a bite of a nacho and glances over at me, noticing that I've stopped eating since he showed up. "You know, I said "can I have SOME of your nachos." Not "can I steal your dinner." Don't you want any, un?"

I shrug and pretend I'm not hungry. "Meh. It's been a long day. I don't really want any food now." I glance at the nachos then up at him taking another bite, realizing that I am SERIOUSLY the world's worst liar. And really, did I think that would fool a fucking NINJA?

He pushes the bowl of nachos between us, smiling as I give in to my hunger and snatch one, taking a bite of the wonderful, nachoey goodness. Taylor steps up and takes the opportunity to introduce Deidara to Champ, considering they don't really know each other.

"Alright, so: Champayine, this is Deidara. Deidara, this is Champayine."

Before he can respond to the sudden introduction, Champ takes her chance to ask him something ridiculous and unnecessary. "So are you and Savannah gonna go out now?"

I practically choke on my nacho hearing her ask this out of the blue, but he doesn't really seem fazed by it.

"Maybe, maybe not. Who knows, un?"

I stop almost choking to yell at her for being rude. "Champayine! That's none of your business!"

"Yes it is, cause' I wanna know!" She turns her attention back to him. "So, is that a yes?"

He turns to me and says something else instead of answering her. "She's like a mini-Tobi, un."

I laugh, but Champ looks confused, the joke wasted on her since she doesn't know who we're talking about.

"Huh? Who's Tobi?"

"Don't worry about it, un."

Taylor glances over at the entrance behind us, saying to Deidara, "Uh, dude, YOU should be worried. And so should Savannah."

Deidara and I turn around to see what she's talking about, and I almost scream when I see who's decided to show up.

"HEY MOTHERFUCKERS, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP?"

Oh YAY. It's the EXACT asshole I was glad to be AWAY from for a while.

I yell back "Why the HELL are YOU here Hidan?" as he walks over to our table.

"I'm here, bitch, cause' I fuckin' wanna be!" He notices the half eaten plate of chips between Deidara and I. "AW SWEET! FUCKIN' NACHOS! GIMME SOME!"

Deidara and I glare at him and slide the nachos out of his reach before he can grab one.

"COME THE FUCK ON! I JUST WANT SOME NACHOS!"

I give him a death stare and answer him with sarcasm. "How about NO, you asshole, until you ask NICELY. OR LEAVE."

He throws his hands up in exasperation, saying, "FUCK! FINE! Can I PLEASE have some FUCKING NACHOS?"

I sigh and give up, telling Deidara, "Well, let him have some. Saying "please" pretty much killed him, so, might as well." We scoot over to give his dumb ass room and slide the nachos over to him as he plops down, successfully ruining this nice dinner with his presence.

"FUCK YEAH! Thanks for the free meal, bitch!"

Taylor FINALLY steps up and reminds Hidan of what happened at lunch. "Hidan, do you not REMEMBER what I TOLD you at lunch about talking to my chibi?"

He answers her through a mouthful of nachos (ew), mumbling, "Yeah, yeah, I fuckin' get it! No "bitch" comments to your precious chibi while she's around YOU."

"Not EVER Hidan." She kicks him under the table, and Deidara and I snicker as he winces and drops the F-bomb a few times.

While he's distracted by Taylor and the nachos, I lean up and whisper in Deidara's ear, "Can't you make him go away?"

He shakes his head and answers, "Probably not. I don't even know how he got here, un."

Hidan overhears somehow over the noise of himself loudly chomping away at MY meal, clearing up the question of how he got here. "Wow Deidara, you're REALLY fucking stupid, man. I FOLLOWED your ass here, and you didn't even fucking notice!"

Deidara turns and scowls at him as he swallows the last of the nachos and belches loudly. "WHY did you follow me, un?"

Hidan looks over at both of us and smirks. "Cause'! I wanted to see what you and your bitch were gonna do!"

Taylor yells "HIDAN!" and kicks him under the table again, apparently with more force, since he yells "HEY! STOP KICKING SO FUCKIN' HARD, BITCH!"

She kicks him yet again for good measure, then composes herself as the waitress returns with the check, giving our group a wary look while Taylor quickly fishes out a $50 from her pocket. She hands the bill to the server girl, instructing her "Keep the change as your tip."

The girl looks baffled, staring at the money in her grip as she informs Taylor, "But...ma'am...that's a $20 tip..."

"It's fine. You deserve it," she says, standing up and motioning for the rest of us to follow her. "Let's go, guys." She glares at Hidan, and Champ jumps up to follow her out.

"What the fuck? But I just got here!"

She taps her foot impatiently for Hidan to get up until he does, groaning and saying his favorite word a few more times. Deidara and I sweatdrop as we exchange a glance, then, we stand up and join the group as it heads for the entrance.

All of us file out the doors to the sidewalk, and before anyone can say anything, Taylor punches Hidan in the face as hard as she can. This, of course, does NOT make him very happy (although I for one enjoyed it), and he proceeds to curse her out.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING, YOU DUMB BITCH?"

She holds her classic poker face as her only expression, calmly saying "Okay, one: Learn some new vocabulary. And two: You have NO idea how to read a situation, do you?"

"You mean besides the fact that you just punched me in the FUCKING FACE? What the fuck ELSE is there to FUCKING GET?"

She shakes her head slowly and starts to walk away, leaving him with one last thing to think about. "You are truly hopeless, you know that? Maybe you should pray to that Jashin guy or whatever-the-fuck to give you some brains in that empty ass head of yours."

"FUCK YOU, YOU DAMN BITCH! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU JUST FUCKING WAIT!"

She ignores him as she continues leisurely down the sidewalk, and instead of doing shit about it, Hidan just stomps off in the opposite direction, grumbling about killing and Jashin as he FINALLY leaves.

Taylor calls back over her shoulder, "Come on Champ, let's go. Savannah, say bye to Deidara, then get your ass over here. We're leaving." Champ looks between us and giggles before scampering over to where Taylor's waiting, and I turn to look at Deidara.

"Um, thanks for coming. It was a nice surprise..." I blush a little and smile sweetly at him "...even with Hidan showing up and jacking our nachos."

He grins and takes a step towards me, suddenly wrapping his arms around me and whispering in my ear, "You know, I'm not like the "ginger-with-no-soul." I actually LIKE keeping people waiting, un."

I hug him back, coming up with the perfect response. "And you KNOW I'm not like him either...because I actually know how to be patient."

We let go and smile at each other one last time before walking away, his last words racing through my head, just like I'm sure my last ones are in his...

* * *

**A/N- Hope you liked it! :D Now, if you'll all excuse me for a little while (not that long I PROMISE!), the Florida Keys are calling my name! WOOT! XD Expect the next update...soooooon...when I'm done chillaxing with my family. :3**


	5. Salami, Scheming, and The Nightmare

**A/N- Hey guys! :D I'm back from my vacation (if you could call watching your family members sitting around and getting drunk for seven days in Key Largo a "vacation"... -_-), and I promise more updates, more frequently! WOOT! And I have some good news! After rechecking the outline I've been continually adding to for this story, it looks like this fic will end up being over 35 chapters long probably, so that's pretty sweet. XD **

**Thanks again to Miko Hayashi and NinjaSakuraHyuga for your epic reviews! You guys are so nice, you make me feel like I have a reason to keep updating. I swear I'll keep writing this story no matter what because you guys like it and are just totally awesome. ^_^**

**I apologize in advance if this chapter if a little less random and funny than the other ones. It's not "filler," but it sets up pretty much all the HUGE, important events to come through the magic power of foreshadowing, flashbacks, and emotional strife. YAY. It should still be interesting to read, though. Hope you like it! :)**

* * *

"I'm home..." I wearily call out as I open my front door and drag myself into the house, expecting an instant response from my mom, wherever she is. "Hello? Mom?" I notice there's a mountain of shopping bags piled up on the counter as I walk into the kitchen, so I guess she's just gotten back from the store...or twenty different ones, apparently.

"Oh! Welcome home, honey! How was your first day back?" She rushes out from her bedroom when she realizes I'm here, coming over and hugging me as she asks her question.

"Uh, well...it's been a day...I've been-"

"Hold that thought!" she says quickly, cutting me off from explaining all the things that happened since she last saw me this morning. She practically skips over to the counter in glee and holds up a handful of shopping bags with Publix written on the side.

"Salami's on sale at Publix!"

I sweatdrop and shake my head, though she's too busy unpacking her ten pounds of lunch meat to notice. "So, er...you want some help with that stuff? I could put some of it away for you..."

She doesn't even turn around as she answers, busying herself with the groceries and salami. "No, no, I got it! So, tell me about your day."

I lean against the wall and sigh, trying to decide where exactly I should start, what I can tell her, and if she's even PAYING ATTENTION. "Well, I've been stuck with a group of insane, bloodthirsty killers in my 1st period." I start off the conversation with a bombshell that would give any normal parent a heart attack, but, just like me, my mom is FAR from normal in terms of reactions to disturbing news.

"That's nice, honey! I'm sure you'll get along GREAT with them!"

"So you're saying that I'm an insane, bloodthirsty killer? Cause' that sounds like what you're implying."

She shoves an armful of salami into the fridge and distractedly answers. "No, I'm implying that I know you're at least half-crazy, definitely bloodthirsty, and would LIKE to kill people. So you'll fit right in! WOW, I got a great deal on this salami today!"

"MOM, do you have NO maternal instinct whatsoever?"

"I can't WAIT to eat this salami!"

I practically fall over on the floor at her lack of surprise, fear, anger, or ANYTHING at hearing that I've been stuck with Group C, aka, the Akatsuki. And what is WITH her and freaking SALAMI? It's not even that good of a lunch meat!

"MOM! Are you even paying attention?"

She returns to the mountain of bags for another armful of salami, and I start to question which she loves more: salami, or me? "Hmm? Of COURSE I'm paying attention, honey! Look at all this salami I got!"

I facepalm and seriously consider just walking away from this ridiculous conversation that somehow keeps getting switched from the Akatsuki and how fucking crazy they are (and apparently me too) to FUCKING SALAMI. "MOM! ME! Are you paying attention to ME?"

At my outburst, she finally, FINALLY puts the bags down and turns to look at me, giving me her full attention. "Honey, why would you even ask that? I ALWAYS pay attention to you. I'm just paying attention to the salami too right now."

I raise an eyebrow at her and look at her skeptically, seriously doubting that she was paying attention to me at all. "So when you're done with your PRECIOUS salami, will you give me your FULL attention? As in undivided by cheap Publix salami?"

She goes back to digging around in the bags for more salami, but looks up at me and says, "Yes, honey, I will. Promise. Now, do you think your killer friends would like some salami? I have plenty."

I grin at her and her salami obsession, and answer her before heading out to the porch while I wait for her to finish. "Nah, I think if they wanted fresh meat they'd just go out and slaughter some innocent creature and eat it raw."

I wander outside to the screened in porch and sit down in the late afternoon sunlight, letting it's warmth remind me of the warmth I felt being in Deidara's arms for a few moments. I smile to myself, thinking of the last things we said to each other again.

"_...I actually LIKE keeping people waiting..." _

"_...I actually know how to be __patient__..."_

They were definitely a promise to be more than just friends eventually...I just have to wait till' then. And the longer, the better, in my opinion.

"_...you can't just rush into these kinds of things...we all know where that got me to before..."_

A flashback from my earlier conversation with Taylor and Champayine runs through my head, successfully ruining my moment of optimism for the future by dragging me back into the darkness of my past. No. No no no no NO. I am NOT going there right now. Not when I FINALLY have something to look forward to.

"_...it's in the past...it doesn't matter now..."_

What's done is done. Nothing can UNdo it. Though I still think revenge would be sweet.

"_...I STILL wanna kick his ass!"_

But sadly, I can't take Taylor up on her offer. If I EVER get the chance, I'm doing something about it myself. As awesome as it would be to have her do this for me, this is a score I need to settle on my own. I'm not sure how yet...but one day, I will. I can fight this battle on my own...I hope.

My long string of revenge-laden thoughts filled with hatred are suddenly interrupted by my mom pushing the sliding door open a little bit and joining me. I glance up at her as she sits down, and she smiles at me, but quickly frowns when she sees my face.

"Aw, honey, what's wrong? It's not like you to cry."

Cry? What is she?...SHIT. I feel my face and numbly realize it's soaked in salty tears. Damn, that's twice in one day I've cried in front of someone I care about...this sucks. I usually only shed tears when I'm locked in my room where NO ONE can see, or I just scream out my pain to some Black Veil Brides songs.

I quickly wipe my face off with the back of my glove and try to brush it off like it was nothing. "No, no, it's cool. I'm fine. Really."

She gives me the classic mom look of concern, which I get NOW that I'm CRYING instead of when I told her I've been stuck with MURDERERS. Figures. "It's not "fine." Tell me what happened today."

"It has nothing to do with today...I was thinking about-"

"Would you like some salami?"

"No MOM, I don't want some-"

"It'll make you feel better.~"

"MOM!"

"Sorry, just trying to help. Continue."

"Never mind. I...need to ask you something."

"Yes, honey?"

"It's something IMPORTANT." I emphasize the last word in an attempt to get her to take the conversation seriously, because I really do have to talk to her, and her constant mentioning of salami is making it PRETTY hard to do so.

"Okay, got it. Important. I won't mention anything else about salami."

"Thank you." I pause before continuing to gather my thoughts and my emotions, and I turn to gaze out at the lake as I tell her something I'm sure she's terrified of hearing. "I...have to warn you. It's happening again. Not the same way as before, but...I think...I'm...going to fall in love with a ninja."

I turn back to her, and there they are again, those damn tears pooling in my eyes. "...Is that okay?"

She looks at me, shocked at the news, then, her expression softens to a gentle smile. "It sounds like you're already in love with him. And as long as things don't end up like they did before...I'll support you, honey. No matter what."

I return her smile and wipe the new set of tears from my eyes, glad that she accepts me possibly having feelings for another ninja. Wait...but she just said I ALREADY have feelings for him...what? "Thanks, mom. But we're not "in love." We just met today, so that's kinda impossible."

"No honey, it's possible to fall in love in a day."

"Geez, you sound like Champ. "May the power of love compel you!" and all that shit."

"Honey, you SHOULD believe in love. Just because you've had bad experiences with a certain other ninja doesn't mean you should give up on loving this one."

"Hey, I "believe" in love. Just not love blooming in ONE FUCKING DAY."

"But the first day you met that other guy you came home screaming about how "in love" you were, so you believed in it then."

"Yeah, but that was ALSO before he broke my heart, mind, and soul. So "rushing" isn't exactly my style anymore."

"I'm just saying...you shouldn't close yourself off completely because of him. If you feel something, then actually FEEL it. Don't pretend the emotion's not there if it is. Even if, like then, it's there for the wrong reasons."

I sigh and put my head on my knees as I hug my legs to my chest, finding it impossible to ignore this sagely sounding advice from my mom. "I guess you're right...I'm just...scared, I guess. Of diving in and then winding up over my head again. Besides, the way I acted back then was so stupid, I wasn't thinking straight."

"Honey, NO ONE thinks straight when they think they're "in love," whether they actually are or not."

"True. But I REFUSE to fuck up again, and I can't afford to use "love" as an excuse to do so. Besides, he said himself that rushing's stupid."

She gets a playful look on her face and grins at me with her next words. "DID he? What ELSE did he say to you?"

Great, this conversation's gone from serious, to somewhat annoying, to downright awkward and STUPID. "Look, can we talk about something else now? I don't have to tell you every little thing we said to each other today."

Her expression falls into clear disappointment at me not wanting to spill every little detail of my interactions with Deidara. "Well, not everything, but at least tell me a bit about the guy."

Okay, I guess as my mom, she has the right to hear about him so that she knows if he's some kind of psychopath or something...which, he kind of is. Oh boy.

"Um...you know those killers I was talking about earlier? He's one of them."

Please don't freak out, please don't freak out, please don't-

"That's nice, honey! I like this one better already!"

Once again, WHERE are the NORMAL parental instincts? After what happened before, you'd think she would be MORE protective. Or at least seriously consider the implications of what I've just said.

"Soooo...you're just, like...COOL with that?"

"Of course, honey! I told you, I think you'll fit in fine with those people! And if he's one of them, more power to you!"

I shake my head and grin at her, amazed at what an incredibly unbelievable mom she is. "You're awesome, mom, you know that?"

"Huh? It's just the truth. And even as a murderer, he can't be as heartless and evil as the last ninja love interest was."

I take a moment to compare them in my mind, and looking at the first day that I met each of them alone, it's clear that Deidara is the polar opposite of him. "Yeah, this new guy's not heartless at all. Evil, possibly, but he's sexy, so it's okay."

She seems intrigued by this new news flash, leaning forward in her chair with an excited expression.

"Sexy? What kind of ninja IS this?"

I blush at my stupid description, wishing I hadn't blurted out the first thing that came to my mind when thinking about him.

"Well...he is."

I blush deeper, trying to think of something LESS STUPID to say about him.

"Uh, let me redo that description. He IS sexy, but he's also surprisingly nice too. He was the only one I felt was only half-crazy today whereas everyone else was just completely FUCKING INSANE. He's an artist, though I have NO idea what kind," I recall him being banned from the art room for life for whatever kind of "art" this is.

"He likes to keep people waiting, plans on taking over the world with the rest of the Akatsuki, and has four mouths."

She's been nodding her head absentmindedly to my weird-ass list of key points about him that I picked up today, and she stops when I pause for a reaction of some sort from her.

"He sounds perfect for you honey! Creative, attractive, supportive, working towards a goal, and overall unique."

WOW. THAT'S what she's getting out of this discussion? It's like she took all the bat-shit crazy stuff I just said that any normal parent would have me committed to an asylum for saying, melted it down inside her head, and found a genuinely optimistic, positive way of looking at it. Once again: WOW.

"That's...one way of looking at it, I guess. It's like the sane version of all the INsane things I just told you."

"Yep! And those are all the opposites of what my first of what my first impressions of that other guy were."

"...Even from the beginning before, you could tell then? What kind of person...HE really was?"

She sits back in her chair and sighs, her face falling into the shadows of the porch, making her next words all the more ominous. "Yes, honey, I was very much aware of the situation. But, like I said, you were so "in love" with him, there's nothing I could have done to stop you. I just feel guilty now for not TRYING to while I had the chance..."

"NO mom. It's like you said...it's my fault."

She leans forward in her chair, back into the now fading light of the sunset which has started while we've been talking, and smiles gently at me. "...But you know what? From what you've told me, I can tell things aren't going to end the same way this time. This guy...seems like someone you can trust. To stay by your side and protect you from people like that other guy, even if you don't go out."

I prop my feet up on the table in front of me and look out at the setting sun, and I ponder what she just said. "Trust." "Stay by my side." "Protect me." All the things that HE refused to do. Would Deidara actually try to make me happy instead of miserable? Heal me instead of destroy me? I don't know. I feel like I really know next to nothing after the day I just got through.

"You could be right, you could be wrong. I can say this though...if the other guy was the sunset that only brings darkness and ruin, then this one is the sunrise that brings back the light. The dawn. Which is fitting, considering he's part of an organization called the "Akatsuki." Now, can we PLEASE talk about the rest of my day?"

"One thing first: What's this new guy's name? You never even told me."

I glance over at her and grin as I say his name.

"Deidara."

"Deidara...that's a nice name. Does he have a last name?"

I shake my head and try to think if one was mentioned at some point, but don't remember hearing anything. "I don't think so. Mr. Goldstone just called on him as Deidara when he was taking attendance. In fact, I think only two of the Akatsuki even had last names..."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure that he wasn't a part of a certain clan. Though I'm sure he wouldn't be anyway."

"You mean an Uchiha? There's one of those in my class."

"WHAT? You never mentioned THAT!"

"Yeah, I was pretty pissed off at first, too. But it turns out Deidara and I share a common hatred of them, so hey, that's pretty nice."

"Wait...HE hates the Uchihas too? You HAVE to date this guy, you two really are perfect for each other!"

I laugh at her enthusiasm and the reasoning behind it, considering it IS true. We DO share a burning hatred for that damned clan, so maybe we really are perfect in terms of compatibility.

"I guess you're right! Oh, and we share a hatred for Hidan, so we have that too!"

"Hidan? Is that one of your killer friends?"

"FRIEND? He threatened to RAPE me! And he drew me PORN!"

"Hey, anyone who draws porn is a friend! And the rape threat just means he likes you.~"

I facepalm and stifle an uncontrollable scream into my hand. Great. Yet ANOTHER person who seems to consider Hidan a "friend." I'm fucking OVERJOYED. And what the HELL does she mean HE likes me?

"Are you KIDDING me? I wouldn't go out with Hidan if he was the last fucking creature on the planet! He can go die in a hole for all I freaking care!"

"Geez honey, what did THIS guy do? You've only known him a day, but you sound even more pissed at him than the Uchiha."

"Because at least the Uchiha minds his own damn business! Hidan showed up at Chili's when Deidara and I were eating nachos and fucking JACKED them!"

"Dang, you've already been on a date with Deidara even though you guys just met? YOU GO, GIRL!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT HERE! The point is how much I HATE Hidan!"

"Honey, he was probably jealous of Deidara getting to hang out with you."

"JEALOUS? More like a psychologically disturbed STALKER! And an asshole!"

Mom decides to change the subject, THANK GOD, because discussing what a douche face Hidan is CLEARLY annoys the hell out of me.

"Okay, okay, you don't have to like Hidan, I'm just saying he likes you. So, tell me about the rest of your new killer friends."

"For the last time, Hidan is not my...you know, forget it."

I clear my throat and hold up a hand to count off the rest of the Akatsuki members in Group C that I met today.

"Well, there's a shark guy with two penises, a ginger with no soul, a plant dude, a masked guy who loves carameldancing, and a dude who's obsessed about money."

"That's great, honey! I'm glad you have such awesome new friends!"

"Actually, only the shark dude and the masked guy are what I would call "friends" out of that group. The rest are...I dunno. Creepers? Weirdos? Freaks? Any of these words would suffice."

I watch as the last of the light from the sunset slowly leaves the sky while I listen to my mom's response.

"They don't sound THAT bad, honey. Besides, you LIKE creepers and weirdos and freaks, so you'll get used to them."

"Yeah, I will, I guess. Just not Hidan. Or the Uchiha."

I yawn and stretch my arms out over my head, glad that I got to have this interesting conversation with my mom about the day and some of the crazy people in it.

"Thanks, mom. Talking to you like this has been nice. I...feel better now, about everything."

"You're welcome, honey. But where are you going now? It's only 7:30."

I stood up and stretched again, letting the rest of the stress from the day dissipate, and I look down at her before heading inside.

"I am TIRED like you would not BELIEVE. I'm heading to bed. Plus, I need to get up early to make a fucking cookie for everybody."

She looks up at me in confusion, not used to me either going to bed OR getting up early.

"But you usually stay up till' one in the morning, even on a school night! Besides, if you're that tired, I could just make it for you."

I shake my head and smile as I turn down her offer to help. "Nah, it's okay. I'll just get up at 4 in the morning to make it."

Now she looks REALLY perplexed.

"FOUR in the MORNING? Do you really think you can get up that early?"

"Yep. If I'm heading to bed 6 hours early, I THINK I can get up two earlier than usual. Night'."

She calls out a "Goodnight" as I turn and head to my bedroom for the night. I open the door and walk over to my iHome to set an alarm for four in the morning, which, hopefully, I can get up at. I quickly remove my accessories and lay down still wearing my dress, too exhausted to care about even changing into my nightgown. But as tired as I am, I still realize as I'm falling asleep that this time, there's no way to escape the familiar nightmare that I'll have to face, just like always...

* * *

**The Akatsuki**

Somewhere, at an undisclosed location in Daytona Beach, the members of an evil organization were busy discussing the question of a new member possibly joining in the near future. The ten of them stood in a dark room overlooking the ocean, and the only and the only light was that of the full moon illuminating their faces as their leader addressed them.

"I have called this meeting to determine who is the most valuable prospective addition to the Akatsuki. From my extensive research on the matter, I deemed Taylor Wagner to be most suitable for the position, and instructed you to offer her the opportunity to join. However," he paused for a moment and turned his attention to the Uchiha, "you've informed me that she expresses no interest in doing so. Is that correct?"

The Uchiha bowed to his superior and coolly replied, "That is correct, Leader-sama. She expressed outright disgust when I spoke to her about it."

"Did she explain why, exactly, she's refusing my generous offer?"

"She said she had "better things to do" than teaming up with us."

The leader of the Akatsuki was amused by this. He had never offered a position in the Akatsuki before only to have it turned down. Granted, a certain member may have left before, but even he could see the benefits of being a member for a short while. Why this talented young girl wasn't interested, he couldn't bring himself to fathom.

"Very well, then. It cannot be helped."

He turned his attention to a different member to continue the discussion. "Deidara. You said there is another girl, a friend of Taylor's, who DID express interest, did you not?"

The artist faced his leader and bowed, then proceeded to argue the case of the girl he possibly had feelings for and just why she was a better choice than Taylor. "Yes, Leader-sama. I explained exactly what we are and what our mission is, and she seemed genuinely excited at the concept of becoming a member, un."

"Hmm...interesting. What are her qualifications?"

"In comparison to Taylor, she's less reckless, able to adapt to new situations better, has improved judgment, and, overall, gets along with us more easily. Although she doesn't seem as strong physically, un."

Another member decided to take this opportunity to insert his opinion into the discussion, since Deidara wasn't the only one paying attention to her.

"Who gives a fuck if she's not as strong? She's also not a fucking bitch like Taylor!"

The artist yelled a not-so-polite aside to the Jashin worshiper, more than a little annoyed that he was being interrupted in the middle of such an important meeting.

"Hidan, shut up! We agreed that I would do the talking here! And you already fucked up part of my day, so I don't need any more shit from you, un!"

"Aw, come the FUCK on! You're not still mad about the nachos, are you?"

"What the hell do YOU think? Of course I am! Those were Savannah's nachos, and you fucking STOLE them, un!"

"Hey, you stole them before I did!"

"I was eating them WITH her, I didn't TAKE them FROM her, damn it, un!"

"Hey, I fucking had to say PLEASE to get those nachos! I EARNED them!"

The two of them were snapped out of their argument by the sound of their leader angrily clearing his throat, and they jerked back to attention upon hearing it. "Cease your bickering. Deidara, is there anything else you wish to add about this girl before I make some sort of decision on the matter?"

The Jashin worshiper took the chance to insert some insight of his own, though not the kind that their leader was asking for.

"She's Deidara's bitch, Leader-sama!"

"HIDAN! SHUT THE HELL UP, UN!"

Hearing him shout this out in front of everyone didn't make the artist very happy. However, it served to deeply amuse his leader. "Meaning...Deidara has feelings for this girl?"

He turned his attention back to the artist. "...Is this true, Deidara?"

He composed himself and answered his leader with the truth. "...Yes. I do. But that's not the only reason I think she should join, un." He paused and waited for a reaction from his leader.

He nodded and said, "Go on. What other reasons are there?"

"Well, I can tell she has more potential than Taylor. Plus, she seems more rational when put under pressure, and doesn't resort to needless violence, un."

The Jashin worshiper added one last comment before their leader was done pondering what to do.

"AND SHE'S REALLY FUCKING HOT! That gets her points, right Leader-sama?"

If the Akatsuki's leader was immature enough to do a facepalm, he probably would have performed one now. Instead, he merely gave an annoyed grunt and glared at the Jashin worshiper. "No, Hidan. Although physical attractiveness can be a weapon all it's own, it does not earn her "points," as you say."

He turned his attention back to the artist with his final instructions on the matter. "I can tell that this girl is special to you, and it seems from what you've told me that she could be even more useful to us than Taylor. So, here are you orders: Observe her. Don't mention to her that she's our new potential member. Before we officially invite her in, I want to make sure she can handle what being in the Akatsuki means."

The artist nodded and looked deeply into his leader's eyes. "She can, un."

The leader of the Akatsuki turned to face his subordinates and said one last thing before ending their meeting for the night. "The orders I just gave to Deidara apply to all of you as well. Observe the one known as Savannah Hope and determine if she's capable of being one of us. However, as I said before, you are not to tell her of our plans to possibly let her join. Is that clear?"

Nods and calls of assent came from around the room in response.

"Good. You are all dismissed for the night."

Before the ten of them could disperse throughout their new hideout, the Jashin worshiper took the chance to ask a halfway intelligent question.

"Hey, now that we're done, can we turn the FUCKING lights back on? We have motherfuckin' electricity here!"

The treasurer of the Akatsuki glared at him and answered his question. "No, Hidan. Electricity costs money, and this place is already costing us a fortune."

"AW, FUCK, are you serious? I thought that shit was free!"

"Hidan, nothing in life is free."

"But I thought EVERYTHING was free in America!"

"No. And besides, Leader-sama likes it this way better. It reminds him of our old hideout."

The Jashin worshiper screamed his favorite word and stomped out of the room, flipping the light switch on his way just to piss his partner off.

* * *

Ever heard of a lucid nightmare? Me either, but I'm sure if there was such a thing, this would probably be it. I know I'm asleep, and I know exactly what's going to happen, but I can't do anything about it.

I'm at school, in the freshman atrium, and there's nobody around but me. Just like that day. Maybe if there had been just one witness...what happened next wouldn't have taken place.

I head down the O hallway towards...his locker. Oh, why did I have to go that day?

I look up. He's standing there, waiting for me. Waiting to destroy me again. Like always.

I walk up to him, and he stares me down with his heartless black eyes. This is when I should have run. Run away screaming like the weakling I know I really am.

He smirks wickedly and grabs me by the throat, forcing me to look at him as his eyes flash red. He's paralyzed me. I fall to the floor, unable to move a muscle. WHY didn't he knock me unconscious? I guess because that would have been too kind for him.

I lay on the ground in terror, knowing what's coming, but prevented from even screaming as he begins to drag my body away. No. Why do I have to re-live this EVERY NIGHT?

I hear a door slam open, and even though I can't move my head to see, I know he's dragging me into the men's room. There weren't any witnesses there either.

He kicks the stall open and heaves me inside. No. Why did you do this to me, you soulless bastard?

He closes the door and locks it behind him, then turns to hungrily glare down at me. No. I can't even close my eyes as he prepares to remove his pants so that he can fuck me over. Literally.

But unlike always, right before he can ruin my body and my life...something changes. Instead of the sound of his clothes hitting the floor, there's an explosion that blows the stall door off of its hinges and sends him flying into the wall. What the...fuck?

"Don't you touch her, you fucking asshole, un!"

I don't believe this. Standing in front of me, now grabbing him by the neck and pushing him against the wall with a kunai to his throat is...Deidara.

* * *

_"I need a hero to save me now!"_

_ "I need a hero! (Save me now!)"_

_ "I need a hero to save my life!"_

_ "A hero will save me just in time!"_

I'm jolted awake to the sound of Skillet's Hero blaring over my iHome alarm clock, which is surprisingly fitting, considering what just happened. The Nightmare...didn't finish. Deidara stopped it before it could end the way it usually does. He saved me.

I sit up and crawl over to the edge of my bed, hitting the off button on my alarm as I get up to go make the cookie. What exactly...just happened?

For the first time in 6 months, minus that lucky dream that I got the other night, it...didn't happen. I really didn't have to re-live that day. I smile as I head to the kitchen and whisper under my breath, "Deidara...thank you."

I flip the light on and open the fridge, hoping there's enough spare dough left to make the Fucking Cookie. To my surprise, I pull out a brand new container of Toll House chocolate chip dough with a note on top.

_"Good morning, honey! I went and got this for you and your friends after you passed out in your room last night. I think there should be enough dough for you to make two Fucking Cookies if you want even! I love you!"_

_Mom_

"_P.S. There's still some salami in the fridge if you're still hungry when you wake up!"_

Oh mom. You're a bit of a fruit loop when it comes to salami, but I love you.

I put the container of dough on the counter and pull out a tray to bake it on, setting the oven for 400 degrees as I go. I grab a spoon, open the container, and basically shovel half of it onto the tray so that the resulting hill of dough is about the size of a dinner plate. And hey, look at that. Mom was right. There really is enough left over to make another cookie.

I scoop the rest of the dough onto a separate tray, flatten out the mounds a little bit, then shove the two trays into the oven to bake for an hour. Setting the timer, I head off to grab some clothes and take a shower, since I was too damn tired to take one last night.

I go to my closet and open it, deciding to wear my Black Veil Brides T-shirt today for the hell of it, just because they are the most amazing band EVER. Next, I step over to my dresser and dig out my black lace skirt and a pair of black leggings to go with it, grabbing a pair of black socks to go under my boots, a fresh bra and pair of black underwear while I'm there.

Needing some accessories, I walk back to my bathroom and fetch a pair of snake earrings, my long black lace sleeves that go up to my elbows, my choker necklace with a pair of handcuffs, a key and a heart with a lock on it, and to finish the outfit, a black hairbow with a silver dragon on it. Perfect. Now, all I need is to grab a shower, put this stuff on, frost the cookies, and I'll be ready to face the day.

Taking my armful of epic goth clothes with me, I wander to the shower and turn it on, giving it a few minutes to warm up. As I take off my clothes from yesterday and wait for the water to heat, I can't help thinking about the alternate ending of the nightmare that I just experienced.

Deidara...actually saved me from having to suffer the way I usually do. Nobody I know has EVER appeared in The Nightmare to save me. Not even once. Why the ending took a turn for the better suddenly...I can only guess. Though I might have a pretty good one.

The water's hot now, so I step in and continue my thoughts under the relaxing spray. What does it all mean? That he actually would do like my mom said and protect me from people like that? That since we share a common grudge, he really would fight for me? Would he avenge me if I somehow told him?

No. I can't tell him. I never told anyone about that day, so why start now? Besides, he's supposedly a dangerous killer who's murdered thousands of people, so my little sob story probably wouldn't even faze him. Who knows if he would even save me for real if he saw that happening? I mean, I THINK he would...especially when he saw who the culprit was.

UGH, what does it matter? I have to worry about the future, not the past. Although it would be nice is worrying COULD change something. Now I need to worry about getting through another day of mayhem without losing what's LEFT of my mind. Weee.

But hopefully everybody will be too busy eating the cookies to bother me at lunch. 1St? Well, that's guaranteed to be one big clusterfuck, and 6th...should be interesting. And possibly very awkward, since the two people I care about most in that class are secretly planning on killing each other or something.

Though it doesn't seem like it, my thoughts have successfully kept me occupied for the rest of the hour that the cookies needed to finish, because I'm suddenly interrupted by the buzzing of the timer telling me they're done baking. I switch the water off and dry myself with a towel, then get dressed before heading to take the cookies out of the oven to cool for yet another hour. See why I had to get up two hours early?

After placing them on the counter, I decide to kill my spare time before my mom gets up to help me frost the cookies by blaring Black Veil Brides on my iPod. I listen to their entire Set the World On Fire album before going back out into the kitchen to wait for my mom.

Surprisingly, she's already here, holding the froster and smiling as I walk into the kitchen. "Morning, honey! What do you want me to write on these cookies?"

I smile and step up to the counter next to her, pointing to each cookie as I instruct her, "Okay, so: This one should say "Do you want..." and this one should say "A Fucking Cookie?" Can you do that please?"

My mom's in charge of this part since one: I can't write in cursive worth shit, and she has really pretty handwriting. And two: NEVER trust me with chocolate frosting. That shit's delicious.

"Okay, honey!"

"Thanks, mom. I know Taylor and Champ will appreciate this at least."

"Aw, I'm sure your killer friends will like it too.~"

"That's what I'm afraid of..."

"Why honey?"

"Because Hidan or one of the others will probably steal them all for themselves or something!"

"It'll be fine, honey. Taylor will kick his ass if he tries anything."

"True, but it'll be pretty hard to enjoy it if HE'S around. And besides, he stole my nachos!"

"There! All done.~" I look down at my mom's amazing cursive scrawled across the cookies in frosting, and her handiwork is impressive as always.

"Wow, they look great mom!"

She beams, overjoyed that I'm happy with her work. "Thanks, honey! Here," she walks over to the pantry and grabs some tin foil. "You can use this to keep people from seeing what they say as you're walking in! That way you won't get in trouble!"

Smirking, I take the foil from her and wrap it around the Fucking Cookies, although no one's really gonna care even if they do see what they say. "Mom, I know we did this last time, but I don't think the new staff would really give a shit if they see me carrying a cookie with the F-word on it. Things are different now."

"But I don't want you to get in trouble!"

I laugh, grabbing my stuff and the cookies as we head out the door, adding one last thing as we leave.

"Don't worry, I think I can leave THAT to Taylor and the Akatsuki. Besides...getting in trouble is the LEAST of my worries..."

* * *

**A/N- So, that wasn't too bad, right? Yes, it was all emo, and dark, and dramatic, but still good, right? I promise, everybody will be in the next chapter again, the fun, insane randomness will be turned back on full blast, and I WILL explain the whole Fucking Cookie thing. It's actually an inside joke between me, Taylor and Champ irl, but all of you get to be in on it too when Taylor explains it to the Akatsuki soon. **

**Expect the update...in about a week and a half to 2 weeks, I'd say? Not really sure, cause' I have to start my virtual school shit again, but it will PROBABLY be sooner than this update was. But don't hold me to that please, I kinda fail under pressure. _ derp. The next update will have a bunch of good stuff in it though, I promise, so look forward to it! Till then, bye guys! ~**


	6. Stop Getting Your Damn Blood Everywhere!

**A/N- Hey guys. Before you say anything, YES I know I suck for updating later than I said I would. By like...a week and a half, I think. I'M SORRY. DX And I also suck because there is no Champayine and Neji in this chapter. I'M SO SORRY CHAMP PLEASE DON'T HATE ME YOU AND NEJI WILL BE IN THE NEXT UPDATE I PROMISE! ;A; **

**But now that my emo apologies are out of the way, THANK YOU SO MUCH VeeandreaHart for your review! You are awesome, and I would totally give you a Fucking Cookie! :D And NinjaSakuraHyuga (Champ) YOUR STORIES ARE SO AMAZING! You all NEED to go read her fics, they are totally epic! :3**

**For the record, I have NO IDEA how much an arm really would bleed if you slashed it with a kunai...probably not QUITE as much as I made it sound like, but oh well. I'm not a doctor or a medic-nin, so how would I know? :P Enjoy this chapter filled with violence, blood, cursing, dead cats, UST, and kidnapping threats! XD **

* * *

6:20. DAMN I'm here early today! Normally it takes me at least 25 to 30 minutes more to get my ass to school, so no matter what I'll have to face soon, at least I've somewhat got it together. I say goodbye to my mom, grab the cookies and head for my locker before anyone else can show up and ruin the early morning peace and quiet.

Looking down the hall, it really doesn't seem like there's anybody I know around, which is good. The people these are for would probably mob me and slit my throat to get the Fucking Cookies all for themselves. Or at least a CERTAIN Akatsuki member...who I REALLY hope I don't have to see this morning, at least until 1st when I have no choice.

I open my locker and stow the cookies and their deliciousness inside, grabbing my Economics and English stuff while I'm there. After kicking the door closed somewhat carefully (so I don't damage the cookies), I sit down on the other side of the hall, hoping one of my friends or somebody else I actually like will show up soon. Only about a minute passes before, thank god, Taylor arrives.

"Wow Savannah, you're here early." She looks shocked that out of everybody, I, for the first time EVER, got here before her.

I grin and answer, "Yep! I got up at 4 in the morning just to make the Fucking Cookies for you guys!"

"Damn, that's impressive. And wait, there's two?"

I nod, still grinning like an idiot with pride at my accomplishment. "Yeah! I figured with the extra people that'll probably want some, might as well make two! Or else they'll all kill each other trying to steal the one."

"Nice. Are you gonna invite Deidara to eat it with us?"

"Sure, why not? I'd rather him show up than Hidan. Though I really wouldn't mind some of the other Akatsuki showing up. It could be fun."

She pulls out her phone and starts texting someone as she responds. "Uh-huh. Hey, if I leave now, you'll be all by yourself, right?"

I tilt my head to the side and give her a confused look. "Wha? Are you leaving me, Taylor? There's no one else here!"

She puts the phone away and glances down at me as she starts to walk away. "Exactly. I have somewhere to go. Later." Not even giving me a second look, she heads down the hall and enters the side door to the office with a strange look on her face. Like she's pleased for some reason.

Huh. Now I'm suspicious. Taylor NEVER goes to the office unless she's called in, or the school sends someone to personally fetch her after an especially badass prank or stunt of some kind. Come to think of it, who was she texting anyway?

I'm zoned out so far thinking about Taylor's unusual behavior that the voice I hear next catches me off guard.

"So. You really are over here all by yourself, un."

I look up to him giving me that sexy look he's so good at, and suddenly I'm pretty sure who Taylor was contacting a minute ago.

"Taylor texted you, didn't she?"

"What, I don't even get a "hi, Deidara" when I show up, un?" he asks in mock disappointment as he sits down next to me. I redo my greeting and smile at him, since, okay, even if Taylor DID tell him that I was over here, it's not like I'm mad.

"Hi, Deidara. What's up?"

He smirks and holds up his phone for me to see. "Taylor texted me, un."

I read through the message, and, yep, it's just like I thought: Taylor's meddling again.

"_hey savannah's by the office all alone you should go hang out with her and keep her company" _

Well Taylor, good job leaving out the part about how YOU left me all alone in the first place!

"For the record, it's not like I begged her to text you that."

He laughs and grins at me. "Aw, I was hoping you HAD, un."

"You WISH. Did she say anything else?"

"Yeah, there's a whole chat log of things she said yesterday, un." He taps the screen a few times and holds the phone out to me. "Wanna read it, un?"

"I don't think I want to, but since you offered, I kinda have to," I say as I take the phone from him and start reading their chat log from the day before.

Taylor: _"hey we're at Chili's where r u?"_

Deidara: _"On my way. Don't rush me, un."_

Taylor: _"Champ and Savannah are talking about u"_

Deidara: _"Really? That's interesting, un."_

Taylor: _"yea Savannah says she likes u"_

Deidara: _"You think I don't know that, un?"_

Taylor: _"why don't u ask her out?"_

Deidara: _"Cause' rushing's not my style, un."_

Taylor: _"but u guys like each other, so what's the problem?"_

Deidara: _"I don't take orders from you, un."_

Taylor: _"well i'll keep meddling in you guys' business till u do"_

Deidara: _"Good luck with that, un."_

Taylor: _"don't need luck...my meddling never fails"_

Deidara: _"Like I said, GOOD LUCK with that, un."_

Taylor: _"when u guys go out u better treat her right, or I swear to god I will kick your ass even worse than I did 2 Hidan"_

Deidara: _"WHEN we go out, I will, un."_

Taylor: _"good. U hurt my chibi u die, got it?"_

Deidara: _"Yeah. I'm here, un."_

Taylor: _"perfect timing"_

That's the end of it. "Damn...Taylor is REALLY good at meddling..." I comment as I hand him his cell back.

He smirks and puts the phone away. "Yeah. And she's extremely overprotective of her "chibi," un."

"Well...she has a pretty good reason for THAT..." I think back to our conversation right before Deidara showed up yesterday. Taylor was definitely making an allusion to a certain other ninja when she threatened him about being good to me when we go out.

"What reason would THAT be, un?"

"It's nothing you did...just...don't worry about it."

Before he can press me for any more details or change the subject, our conversation is rudely interrupted by the LAST person I want around. "DEIDARA, YOU MOTHERFUCKER, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO SEE YOUR BITCH!"

Oh, I just can't catch a break, can I? I glare up at the unexpected and UNWANTED nuisance, but before I can tell him off, Deidara beats me to it.

"HIDAN, GO THE HELL AWAY! We don't want you here, un!"

"FUCK man, what's your fucking problem?! You said yourself at the at the meeting last night that she's YOUR bitch, so I'm not gonna fucking take her from you!"

Before I can run to the office screaming for Taylor to come kick his ass, he plops himself down next to me and swings an arm over my shoulders. WHAT THE FUCK?!

"I've got fucking GREAT news for you, bitch! Leader-sama says that you-"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER, UN!" Deidara yells as he suddenly whips out a kunai and runs it across the length of Hidan's arm that he has wrapped around me. Whoa. Deja vu.

"OW! FUCK, YOU ASSHOLE, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FUCKING ARM!" Deidara, in a split-second, leans over me and clamps a hand over Hidan's mouth, his other one pointing the bloody kunai at his face the same way Taylor did yesterday.

"ONE: DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN. AND TWO: We're under orders not to tell her that, you dumbass. Orders from Leader-sama, un."

Hidan shoves Deidara's hand off of his mouth and half-assedly swats at the kunai that's practically stabbing him through the face. "FOR THE LOVE OF JASHIN, I FUCKING GET IT! And don't touch me with your freaky hands, that's just fucked up man!"

He crawls across the hallway and leans against my locker, nursing his cut up arm that's dripping blood all over the already dirty floor. Gross. He BETTER not get his guts all over my locker, or that's one more thing I'll have to have Taylor kick his ass over. Speaking of which...

"You know I'm telling Taylor about this Hidan."

"DA FUCK DID I DO NOW?!"

"You touched me. Taylor said you'd be sorry if you so much as LOOKED at me funny, so you do the math, dumbass."

He licks some of the blood off of his arm and shoots me a sadistic looking grin. "You tell that bitch, and I won't tell you the secret.~ OR draw you any more fucked up "pictures.""

Deidara's still fuming mad, and he shoots Hidan a death glare as he yells at him again. "It's not a "secret," it's CONFIDENTIAL information, you fool! You CAN'T TELL HER, un!"

"Tell me what?" I ask, curious to know what's so important to keep from me that Deidara would slash a chunk out of Hidan's arm to shut him up about.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it, un."

"If Hidan says it's "great news," I think I should be worried about it."

He laughs and smiles at me. "It actually IS great news, we just can't tell you. At least for now, un."

"So great that it's worth slicing up Hidan's arm so I don't find out?"

"Yeah. But I mostly did that cause' he touched you like that, un."

"NOW who's being overprotective of me?"

"Hey, I was doing you a favor." His voice drops to a quiet mumble mumble with his next words, and I almost miss what he says. "Besides...everyone knows you're MINE now, un."

I blush and look up at him. "What did you just say?"

He smirks and glances down at me. "I don't know. What do you THINK I said, un?"

I blush harder and drop my gaze, too embarrassed to even TRY repeating what he said back to him. "UM...never mind!"

Hidan, as always, just HAS to interrupt our conversation with a rude comment, being the incredible douche face he is. "YEAH DEIDARA, I COULDN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU OVER HERE! SPEAK THE FUCK UP!"

"It's none of your damn business Hidan, un!" Deidara shouts at him, and I follow his example.

"Yeah Hidan! We have our OWN secrets, and they DON'T concern you!"

As I'm yelling this across the hall to him, I notice that his arm is COMPLETELY soaked in his own blood, and he is taking NO medical action whatsoever. "Oi, Hidan, you're drowning in your own blood, you dumbass! Go get some Band-Aids or something before you make even MORE of a mess!"

He holds up his now crimson colored arm and grins at me evilly. "What are you talking about, bitch?! I LIKE to bleed."

Okay, can you say FUCKED UP ON SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS? I cringe and stare at the blood dripping off of his arm.

"News flash, dumbass: Keep bleeding like that and you won't have any blood LEFT!"

"Doesn't matter, bitch! I'm immortal!"

He points to his chopped-up arm with a non-blood soaked finger. "Check THIS shit out!"

As I'm staring at his somewhat morbid injury, what could only be described as some kind of satanic miracle occurs. The blood stops flowing from the cut as the damaged skin repairs itself, and, like some weird ninja magic, his arm's perfectly fine again. Though there's still blood ALL over the place...dumbass.

"See THAT, bitch?! IMMORTAL! Jashin-sama wouldn't let me fucking die!"

So, the healing impressed me. His comment on it does not.

"Does this mean that you REALLY can't die? EVER?"

Deidara steps in and answers my question for him. "Unfortunately, yes. I've tried to kill him a few times, but even if I blow him into pieces, Kakuzu just stitches him back together again, un."

"Well, that sucks..."

Hidan laughs and interjects. "Sucks for YOU, maybe! It's fucking awesome for me! I can kill myself as many times as I want for Jashin-sama and NOT DIE!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever dude. Are you gonna clean your blood off of my locker? Or ANYTHING for that matter?"

"Why the FUCK would I do that?! It looks better like this!"

"It LOOKS like a fucking crime scene, and I don't want to be around when one of the ninja senseis show up and find this."

My worries are slightly defused when the bell for 1st period rings, which means that, hopefully, the three of us can get out of here before we're ALL blamed for this huge mess.

"Then let's go, un," Deidara says, standing up. Hidan and I follow, and before anyone can stumble upon the sea of his blood that's splattered all over the hall, the three of us book it to class, a certain dumbass leaving bloody shoeprints the whole way.

* * *

**Kakashi**

It was a peaceful morning at Spruce Creek for Hatake Kakashi. Well, as "peaceful" as it could possibly be with the daunting task of keeping the Akatsuki AND Taylor in line. He was relaxing in his little corner of the school with his favorite book, Make Out Paradise, re-reading it for what was probably the 100th time.

So far, nothing TOO bad had happened since he had taken over for the old rule enforcement official of the school. Sure, part of the art room had gotten blown up by the crazy pyro kid, and Miss Wagner had picked a fight with that Hidan guy, but those were only minor transgressions in the big picture. The important is that at the beginning of the second day, nobody was dead, which was a achievement in and of itself. Though he WOULD have to talk to Taylor about beating the shit out of Hidan, since she's supposed to be setting a good example for them and keeping them in line IF they screw up, which is bound to happen. Not instigating the conflicts herself.

Though, he had a feeling that she had a pretty good reason for going up against one of the craziest members of the Akatsuki in a fight. And winning, supposedly, which even he couldn't deny was impressive.

In fact, the girl herself was pretty unbelievable. She's tough enough to be stuck with some of the most notorious criminals in all of Japan for 6 out of the 7 periods of the day and not even give it a second thought. He had seen and met some incredible kunoichi in his time, but it was questionable if any of them would be up to this task. And plus, from what he had heard from his fellow sensei, she seemed almost...content with the job. Like she was at least somewhat enjoying their company.

He smiled to himself. The simple fact that she can stand to be locked in a classroom with them for 50 minutes at a time and NOT lose her mind is baffling, but to enjoy being stuck with them? She's something else.

Suddenly, the door to his office flew open, and, speak of the devil, the very same girl that he was so caught up in thinking about entered like she'd done this countless times before.

"Hey Kakashi," she said coolly as she slammed the door shut and proceeded to crash on the small couch in the corner of his office.

"Hello, Miss Wagner. Why, exactly, are you here?"

She propped her feet up on a coffee table and turned to look at him. "I'm here cause' I feel like it."

He sighed and continued to read his book as he responded. "That doesn't answer my question, so, I'll ask a different one: WHAT have you done now?"

She smirked while replying, but he was too caught up in the pages of Make Out Paradise he didn't notice. "Nothing. Just some innocent meddling."

This should have alarmed him, or at the very least caught his attention. But, once again, he was too distracted to pay the comment much thought and feigned interest. "Meddling, huh? What kind?"

"Relationship meddling. I'm doing them a favor."

"You shouldn't mess around in other people's love lives. It never ends well."

"Yeah, well, these two aren't gonna get anywhere without my help."

He turned the page of his book and glanced up at her. "That's all good and fine Miss Wagner, but you and I need to have a talk now that you're here."

"What did I do now?"

He put the book down, folded his hands professionally, and did her the courtesy of giving her his full attention. He didn't want another incident like the one from yesterday to happen again.

"Miss Wagner, it has come to my attention that you got into a fight with one of the members of the Akatsuki. Can you tell me what exactly happened?"

"Why does it matter? I won, and that's what's important."

He couldn't believe it. Here he was confronting her with a serious question about why she felt it necessary to instigate a conflict with Hidan, and her only comment on the matter is the fact that she was the victor?

"Look, Taylor," he leaned forward in his chair and stared her down, "maybe if you tell me what sparked this fight, I won't have to write it on The List. I'm on your side here."

She seemed surprised that someone was actually willing to listen to her side of the story for once, so she went ahead and told him the truth. "Hidan was harassing my chibi and saying shit to her, so, I kicked his ass."

"So, you fought to defend a friend?"

"Damn right. And the next time he starts talking to her like that again, I'll hurt him even worse."

Kakashi was struck by her words, which were incredibly honorable and just. Tsunade was wrong: It WASN'T an act of random violence. She did it for the sake of protecting a friend. Maybe there was something he could do to lessen the blow to her record from this.

"It's admirable that you would fight one of the Akatsuki for the sake of a friend. I don't consider that breaking the rules, personally; however, I have to take some sort of action on the matter."

"Aw, come on! You just said it was "admirable" and now you're "taking action?" Who's side are you on here?"

He chuckled under his breath and pulled up her file on his computer. "I told you, yours. I have your mom's number here in your file. How about you just come back here at lunch and we'll just have a talk with her?"

"Uh, that's not such a good idea. My mom doesn't take kindly to being bothered in the afternoon."

"It's either this or another bullet point on The List. And I promise you, the latter will involve getting yelled at by Tsunade for both of us, which I could live without."

"Fine. But it's your funeral."

"I'm sure it's the lesser of two evils."

He glanced over her record on the screen, and one piece of information caught his eye. "It says here that you work at both the police station and the hospital, yet you're one of the most high maintenance students at the school. You also have perfect grades, but your conduct ruins it. How ironic."

"It gets boring trying to do everything right, so I do things my own way. So what?"

"I'm just saying it's ironic. I'm not telling you what to do."

They were cut off from continuing by the sudden sounding of the bell for 1st period, forcing Kakashi to wrap up their little chat. "That's all I have to say. Just show up here at lunch, we'll call your mom, and then we can pretend that fight with Hidan never happened. Deal?"

Taylor got up and nodded at him as she said "Deal" back before heading for the door. She opened it and started for class, leaving Kakashi alone with his thoughts and his book that suddenly seemed slightly less engrossing. But before he could pick it back up again and continue where he left off, Taylor, all of a sudden, came flying back into his office in a panic.

"UH, Kakashi, I think shit went down just now..."

Seeing her lose her cool like this made him instantly concerned for whatever happened outside, considering it had to be pretty bad to get to her of all people. "What happened?" he asked worriedly, jumping up from his chair and hurrying over to her.

"I don't know, just come here!" She rushed out of the main office to an area now soaked in blood, Kakashi following in shocked silence.

"I left the office, came out here, and look! There's blood everywhere! And this is where my chibi was sitting!"

"You mean the friend that you protected from Hidan?"

"Yeah! Oh shit, what if something happened to her?!"

Kakashi took notice of a trail of bloody shoe prints leading away from the scene, which, more than likely, would explain a lot if he followed them.

"Taylor, go to class. I'll figure this out."

Taylor was practically in hysterics thinking about all of the things that could have happened to her friend.

"But, Kakashi, what if-?!"

"Go to class, Taylor. I'll handle it." And before she could say another panicked word in protest, he turned and followed the tracks away, leaving Taylor to think of all the things that could have gone wrong and him to find out what did.

* * *

"HIDAN, YOU DUMBASS!"

"WHAT, BITCH?!"

"What do you mean, "what?" LOOK AT THE FUCKING FLOOR!"

The three of us have just sat down in our 1st period, and I quickly realized with one glance at the floor after doing so that we have a bit of a problem. I gesture wildly at the ground while glaring past Deidara at Hidan and his ugly-ass face.

He looks down, and after a moment of confusion, a retarded looking grin appears on his face. "FUCKING SWEET! BLOODY SHOEPRINTS! Wonder where those came from?!"

"YOU! They came from YOU, you IDIOT! Now clean this up before our teacher gets here!"

"ME?! Why the fuck do I gotta do it?"

"Because you're apparently an extreme fail of a ninja who can't even cover his tracks! LITERALLY!"

"Yeah, but you're a chick, and chicks are only good for fucking and/or cleaning, so get to it, bitch!"

"WHAT?! OH, say that AGAIN, I DARE you, you piece of-"

I'm suddenly cut off by the sound of a very angry person loudly clearing his throat, and for a split second I'm stupid enough to think that maybe it's our teacher showing up early to deal out some justice.

Instead, I glance up to see an annoyed yet still calm and collected looking silver haired man wearing a mask and a Konoha forehead protector over his face and one eye, glaring at Hidan. He takes a few very deliberate steps into the room, following the tracks to their end, and stops when he's standing next to a certain sexist bastard who was too stupid to pay attention to where the hell he was getting his own blood.

"So. Care to explain the mess out in the hallway and the convenient trail from it that leads right to you?" he asks Hidan in a seemingly casual voice that's clearly covering up his displeasure at having to deal with this shit so early in the morning.

Hidan points to Deidara as he answers in a less-than-polite way. "HE'S the one who cut me with a fucking kunai! What da fuck did I do?!"

The Konoha sensei turns his attention to Deidara, who points to me in turn and says, "Hey, I was just defending her from Hidan, who got HIS blood all over the place, un."

"BECAUSE YOU FUCKIN' CUT ME AND MADE ME BLEED!"

"And I did THAT because of YOU, so it's YOUR fault, un."

"Yeah, well, YOU'RE the one who's too fucking overprotective of your bitch!"

"I was shutting you up too before you could say anything classified, you fool, un!"

Konoha sensei decides to get my side of the story, since I actually seem capable of a rational conversation right now. "While those two are busy arguing, could YOU please tell me what happened, Miss Hope?"

"Oh, sure, I...wait, how do you know my name?"

"You're somewhat famous, since you're the only other person besides Taylor who can handle being stuck with the Akatsuki."

"Wow...that's interesting."

I point at Hidan while him and Deidara continue their bickering. "It's all his fault! You should give him a referral!"

Hidan snaps out of yelling at Deidara and turns his pissy mouth at me.

"MY FUCKING FAULT?! YOUR BOYFRIEND'S THE ONE WHO SLASHED ME!"

"Because Taylor told you not to touch me, not to even LOOK at me funny, and, oh hey look, YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME ANYWAY! AND got your nasty-ass blood all over my damn locker!"

"Well, the bitch wasn't around, so I thought it didn't fucking matter what I did!"

The Konoha sensei sighs, sick of trying to get to the bottom of what exactly happened, and motions for both of them to follow him. "You two, office, now. You're both guilty from what I can tell."

Deidara groans, but actually gets up to go with him, surprisingly. Unlike Hidan, who, not surprisingly, refuses to budge, yelling, "I don't wanna go to the fucking office! I didn't do anything!"

Oh dear god, if he says that ONE more time, I swear I'll...no, I'll just do it now. Grabbing my notebook, I lean forward and give him a solid whack upside the head with it, screaming at him, "This IS your fault, you DID do something, and now Deidara's in trouble too because of you! NOW GET YOUR ASS UP!"

He looks slightly shocked that I had the balls to do that, since I'm usually such a pushover when he starts giving me crap, and, amazingly, does what I said. "ALRIGHT! I'M FUCKING GOING! HAPPY, BITCH?!"

"Yes, FOR ONCE, actually."

The Konoha sensei makes a noise that sounds like a suppressed laugh before composing himself and saying to me, "Thank you, Miss Hope. I didn't want to do that the hard way."

"Too bad. It would have been fun to see yet another person kick Hidan's ass," I respond, grinning. He nods and stands back to let Deidara and a certain asshole leave, who I try to trip on his way out the door. He barely dodges and says his favorite word again, but I swear I catch the Konoha sensei smiling as he watches them exit then follows them out.

Huh. At least he has a sense of humor, so maybe he won't be TOO hard on them. Or at least Deidara. I don't care what he does to Hidan. That stupid jerk deserves whatever he gets!

Now that they've left, I find myself all alone in the room, with no teacher, no Akatsuki members, and no Deidara. Great. Bored, I lay my head down on my desk and zone out while I wait for someone else to arrive. Of course, with my luck, I only get a few moments of peace before that happens.

"Morning, Miss Hope."

Miss Hope? I glance up to see the ginger-with-no-soul, and, what the hell is this? He's actually smiling. At me.

"I thought only people with souls could be nice. And what's with the formality?"

He looks kinda hurt (another thing only people with souls can feel), so I apologize. "Sorry. But seriously, why the sudden change in attitude?"

He shrugs and pretends there's no particular reason. "Who knows? You could say it's orders."

Now it's my turn to look hurt, and a little bit confused. So he's suddenly nice to me, but only because his leader told him to be? And why?

"OR," he starts again, "you could say it's because I genuinely want to be nice to the girl who's important to my partner in crime, and to the rest of us as well."

He holds out his hand politely and smiles again, offering me a chance to start over. I take his hand and smile back at him as we shake, saying, "I think I misjudged you, Sasori."

"It's fine. I can't really blame you when the first thing I said in front of you yesterday was a sarcastic comment to Deidara."

He walks over to his desk and sits down, taking note of the empty seat in front of me.

"Speaking of which, where is he?" I scowl, remembering what happened, and look over at him.

"HIDAN got him in trouble, that stupid asshole."

Apparently he knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about, because he smirks and replies, "Not surprisingly. I'm assuming he had something to do with the blood all over the hallway?"

"Yep. He said he had "great news," but Deidara cut him before he could tell me what it was. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"Actually, I would. I just can't tell you what it is. Again, Leader-sama's orders."

Okay, I have to figure out what the deal with this is, because usually when people have "news" for me, good OR bad, there's some wonderful little twist to it that COMPLETELY catches me off guard and potentially screws up my whole life. Like all the news I got yesterday.

"So, are these the same orders that said you have to be nice to me?"

"Sort of. Although, being nice to you isn't a specific part of them."

"Then what is?"

"Observing you."

"WHAT?! Why?!"

I'm shocked by this sudden revelation. He's under some freaky kind of orders to watch me? What the HELL could have compelled his leader to make him do that?

"Relax. These are everybody's orders, not just mine. And we've also been instructed not to tell you the reason why we're keeping our eyes on your actions, though it IS good."

"Should I be concerned about this? Like, worried, terrified, running as fast as I can away?"

He actually chuckles at my response to his announcement, answering, "No, don't worry. It's good for you, and us, you could say." His tone grows much darker all of a sudden as he continues, all humor leaving his voice. "Besides, running away wouldn't do you any good. We're the Akatsuki. You can't escape from us, even if you wanted to."

The blood drains from my face at his threat, and he catches the fear in my pale, wide-eyed expression.

"Hey, it is the truth. But calm down, we won't kidnap you or anything."

"It certainly sounds like it!"

"Only if we have to drag you back here in the case that you try to run."

Before I can even think of how to reply to his somewhat terrifying words, another member of the Akatsuki decides to barge in and save me from continuing this creepy discussion.

"HI SAVANNAH-CHAN!"

I'm suddenly glomped by Tobi out of nowhere, which cuts me off from having to dwell on Sasori's threats.

"Hi Tobi!" I shout back at him happily as I return his post-glomp hug. He lets go of me and starts waving his arms around spaztically as he launches into an excited explanation of what I already knew.

"Savannah-chan, guess what?! Tobi was just walking to class, minding his own business, because Tobi is a good boy, when Tobi looked down this one hallway and saw blood EVERYWHERE! It was soooooo cool! Maybe somebody died a horrible, painful, bloody death! Did you see the blood, Savannah-chan?!"

He asks another frantic question faster than I can answer his first one. "Wait, where's Deidara-sempai?!"

I try to tackle both his questions at once. "Deidara's not here because he's part of the reason the hallway's like that in the first place."

"OMG IS DEIDARA-SEMPAI DEAD?!"

"No, he's just in trouble because of Hidan."

"Deidara-sempai's in trouble?!" He glomps me again and instantly bursts into tears. "But Deidara-sempai's a good boy!"

I pat his back while he literally cries on my shoulder and say, "There, there, it's okay. Hidan's just a stupid meanie. It's all his fault."

"Hidan IS a stupid meanie! One time, Tobi found a kitty cat, and he was really cute! Really, REALLY, REEEEEALLY cute! I named him Muffin. Muffin was my bestest friend in the WHOLE world! I asked Deidara-sempai if I could keep him, and he said yes! Tobi was SOOOOO happy! But when I brought him home, Hidan found out about Muffin, even though Tobi didn't tell anybody else besides Deidara-sempai! He killed Muffin and sacrificed him to Jashin right in front of me! Tobi was so sad and couldn't stop crying, so Deidara-sempai tried to kill meanie Hidan for me! But it didn't work!"

At this, he starts flat out crying like a little kid who's just had their candy stolen (or cat, in this case), and I continue to console him while I try to wrap my mind around just how very fucked up Hidan is.

"Poor Muffin. He didn't deserve that. But he's in a better place now, Tobi."

He sniffles and pauses his crying to ask me something else. "...Do..does Muffin have milk and yarn and catnip where he is?"

"Yes, Tobi. And Muffin still has your love, wherever he is."

It's not that I'm surprised that Hidan would do something like this, but I AM amazed that even he could be THIS heartless. One day Tobi comes home with a little cat, and he just KILLS it? That's pretty messed up. The next time I see Taylor, I'm adding this to her list of reasons to kick Hidan's ass for me.

Tobi's mostly calmed down now after re-living that bit of horrible trauma, and he says one last thing as he stands up and wipes the tears off of his mask. "Thank you, Savannah-chan. You're really nice! Deidara-sempai is lucky to have a girlfriend like you!"

He scampers over to his seat behind Sasori and sits down, and before I can remind him that I'm not Deidara's girlfriend (yet), I'm distracted by the creepy plant dude walking in. What was his name again? Zetsu? He stops next to my desk and stares at me saying, "we're watching you Hope...ALWAYS WATCHING."

Ooookay...creepy much? He/they/it? slinks away to the emo corner of the room while I shoot Sasori and Tobi a confused look that asks "What did I do?" The ginger answers, though I pretty much could have guessed what he says. "That's just Zetsu being Zetsu. Don't take it personally."

Tobi jumps in and agrees with him. "Yep! Don't feel bad Savannah-chan, Zetsu's just a weirdo!"

"So...he's always like that? With everybody?"

They nod their heads. I turn back to my desk, only to find that, for some unknown reason, there's now a dollar bill laying on top of it. What the...

"How did this get here?"

"I put it there."

I look up to see (who else did I expect?) aka I-think-that-goths-are-hookers Kakuzu. I glare at him. "WHY, exactly, did you put it there?"

"Because this is a test."

"Test?"

"Yes."

"What kind of test?"

"...It's just a test."

My attention goes back to the money, and I lean my face towards it, hoping it will give me a clue about what the hell this guy wants to accomplish through this "test" he's suddenly dropped on my desk. Or at least a hint of what he wants me to do.

The dollar's giving nothing away, and it looks normal to me, so I sit up and glare at Kakuzu again.

"You know, I'm NOT a fucking prostitute. So if you think putting this on my desk will make me jump up and perform some kind of magical, slutty trick for your enjoyment, you're dead wrong."

I grab the dollar bill and thrust it in his face.

"Here. Take your cheap-ass money back."

He examines my gesture for a moment, then takes his cash back and slips it in his cloak. I cock my head to the side and raise an eyebrow at him annoyedly. "Well? Did I "pass" whatever kind of "test" that was?"

"It's not for me to say," he mysteriously responds, and heads over to the emo corner with Zetsu to count his money, or to plan on stealing more of it from poor Mr. Goldstone. Speaking of which, really, where on Earth IS that man?

The final bell's just rung, and, as usual, it looks like he'll be arriving fashionably late. The door opens, and for a moment I mistakenly think it's him, but instead, in walk Kisame and the emo Uchiha. Once again, they're the last of the class to show up, yet STILL here before the teacher. Figures.

"Hey, goth girl!" Kisame enthusiastically greets me, giving me a shark toothed grin.

"Hey, shark dude!" I copy his upbeat tone and grin back at him.

"Let me guess..." he starts, glancing over at the two empty seats in front of me, "Deidara and Hidan did something stupid again and got caught."

"Yep. Don't burst into tears over it, though. I already had to deal with that once this morning."

He laughs and points to the pair of unoccupied desks. "Want some company?"

I smile and answer, "Sure, go ahead. But the Uchiha is NOT sitting next to me."

They sit down, successfully stealing Deidara and Hidan's spots while they're away; though it's not that different since I'm still in the same row as one awesome person and one I despise. Tobi's less than happy about the new seating arrangement for the day, though.

"But this isn't fair! Tobi wants to sit next to Savannah-chan!"

I sweatdrop and glance over at him. "Tobi, you're already sitting next to me."

"But Kisame gets to sit in front of you!"

"Because him and the Uchiha take up the two empty desks."

"But Tobi wants to sit there! Tobi is a good boy!"

I think for a second and manage to come up with the perfect compromise. "Okay Tobi. You can sit there..."

"YAY!"

"IF you manage to get here before Deidara some morning."

"But that's impossible! He always gets here before me!"

"Well, guess you don't get to sit there then. Too bad.~"

"Aww! Still no fair!"

Now that everybody ELSE is here besides the teacher, FINALLY decides to show up. And for his sake, I hope he doesn't have any money on him. Otherwise, he can kiss his chances of getting lunch goodbye.

"Morning, Group C! And Savannah," he calls out as he walks in. He takes in the class, and quickly realizes right away what all the others obviously did. "Seems like we're missing a couple of people! What were their names again...?"

I help him out a bit here, since even with the old class, he was HORRIBLE with names. "It's Deidara and Hidan, ."

"Right! I knew that!" He laughs to himself and heads to the front of the room to grab the attendance sheet. "Okay, so, everyone else is here!" He looks over at me and asks, "So where are those two anyway?"

I point in the general direction of the main office. "Hidan did something stupid and got both of them in trouble." He's about to press me for details, but is cut off by the sudden crackling of the school's P.A. System coming to life. Oh wow, this should be good...

_ "Good morning, students! This is your new vice-principal Tsunade with the morning announcements. First off, it's been reported that many of our new transfers are enjoying life here at Creek, and most are already doing an outstanding job in both their classes and extracurricular activities. HOWEVER," _she suddenly snaps back into the crazy murder mode my friends and I caught her in yesterday morning, _"I am aware that there have ALREADY been some INCIDENTS involving a few of the Group C students." _

This woman obviously doesn't take shit from anybody, not even the Akatsuki, which she's making perfectly clear here. _"I'm going to make this very simple for you: There will be no more explosions, fights, or getting your blood all over the damn hallways, unless you want me to personally march down there right now and wring all your scrawny necks!" _

There's the sound of what I assume is her poor desk splintering into a million tiny pieces. Yikes. _"GOT IT?!" _

I cringe in my seat, though this message isn't even directed at me, and check the Akatsuki's reactions.

Sasori's pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head in exasperation (because he's pretty well aware that Deidara's involved in two of the three incidents so far), Tobi's curled up in a little ball shaking from fear (don't blame the guy), Kisame looks amused as hell (hey, he's innocent here), Kakuzu looks frustrated (probably at how very STUPID Hidan is), and Zetsu and Itachi look unfazed, as per usual (creepy and emo, what do you expect?).

Tsunade continues on her magical rant of anger, assuming the targets of her rage answered "YES" to her rhetorical question. _"Good. Just because you all are "special," doesn't mean you get SPECIAL exceptions to the school rules! And I gave that warning to the staff yesterday not as an excuse to let you do as you please, but to give them a heads up of what absolute mutant, disturbed FREAKS you are!" _

Um, okay then. This woman is obviously completely crazy, and a hypocrite, since she seems ten times more "disturbed" than ANY of the Akatsuki. If I was Deidara and Hidan, I'd be running, cause' she's SERIOUSLY out to get them. Tsunade clears her throat and proceeds on a slightly lighter note.

"_Moving on to related business, ninjutsu and genjutsu are not to be used at any time while on school grounds. No shadow clones, no rasengan, no NOTHING! I'M TALKING TO YOU NARUTO!" _

Really? She's just using the school wide intercom system under the pretense of it being "morning announcements" to bitch at people without having to take the time to call them up one by one to her office? It's evil and humiliating, but strangely brilliant. She doesn't screw around when it comes to discipline, unlike our principal.

She shuffles some papers and starts again, not ranting this time. _"Now that THAT'S out of the way, on to the actual announcements..." _

HA! SHE ADMITS IT!

"_As most of you know, the coming Monday will be our special second Open House of the year after school starting at 6:00 P.M. We encourage all of our new students and their parents or guardians to attend." _

Oh shit, I completely forgot about that. I need to tell my salami crazed mom, since she loves going to those things.

"_Also, we have a couple of clubs meeting today at lunch, including the Gardening Club in Room D-05, the Finance Club in room C-10, and the SEA Club in room B-02. New members are always welcome to join, which we highly encourage for any recently arrived transfer students." _

Well then, I can pretty much guess where three of these guys will be heading at lunch, and it's NOT gonna be to get a bite of a Fucking Cookie.

Tsunade keeps describing the various events to take place around campus soon, but everyone's tuned her out already. Across the room in the emo corner, I notice Kakuzu and Zetsu actually strike up an animated discussion after hearing the news, so I guess they're each thrilled in their own little way to each have a club that's perfect for them. Huh. Even plant dudes and money obsessed pricks have a place they belong. Good for them.

Kisame seems pretty happy too (I mean, there IS a whole club dedicated to saving the ocean), and he turns around to face me with another shark toothed grin on his face. "Looks like some of us will miss enjoying those cookies you made."

Confusion sweeps over me for a second, since I don't remember telling Kisame about the cookies; then, the obvious hits me. "Taylor told you about that, didn't she?"

"Surprisingly, no. Hidan did."

"Damn it, I forgot he knew about that!"

"Yeah, he came to class after lunch yelling about he wanted to get a piece of your "fucking cookie," which REALLY pissed Deidara off until Taylor explained that he was talking about food and not something else."

I facepalm and angrily mumble into my hand, "Hidan, you fucking IDIOT..." before I look back up at Kisame and clarify something. "I WAS going to invite you guys, but with all the crazy shit that's been happening this morning, it completely slipped my mind. Sorry dude."

"It's cool. Hidan kinda invited ourselves for you."

"True enough, I guess..."

We all snap back to attention suddenly to the sound of Tsunade shouting at the close of the announcements, _"AND REMEMBER!..." _leading into the school motto.

"_It's a great day to be a Hawk. BUT," _she adds the revised ending again, which I COMPLETELY approve of.

"_IT'S AN EVEN BETTER DAY TO BE A SHINOBI!"_

Everyone in the room cheers, crazy teacher, Akatsuki members and goth girl, and right now, I couldn't agree with those words more.

* * *

It's third period, and for what feels like the 10th time, my evil Spanish teacher is yelling at me again.

Unbelievable. Out of all my former insane teachers, how is she the ONLY one who DIDN'T get fired? Tsunade probably liked her since they're both bitchy old ladies with nothing better to do than make young people's lives miserable. Or it could have something to do with the fact that ninjas don't speak Spanish (but really, what do they know about the stuff they're trying to teach anyway?).

Once she heads off to the other side of the room to torchure some other poor soul, I sneak my phone out of my bag right as I get a text from Deidara. Casting a quick glance across the room to make sure Mrs. Goat Face (that's what her name means in Spanish) isn't paying attention, I open the message and read it.

Deidara: _"Hey, you wanna skip class together, un?"_

Skip class? I've never skipped before in my life. But if it's with Deidara...this could be fun.

Me: _"Sure, where do you wanna meet?"_

The bell rings just as I hit reply, and as I'm heading out of the room wondering where we're supposed to meet up, I notice him leaning against the wall just a few feet away from the door I just walked out of. He looks over at me and smiles, which I return as I step over to him and casually ask, "You assumed I'd say yes, didn't you?"

He grins and teases me playfully. "Oh, like YOU would have said no, un?"

I blush, since he DOES have a point. "Not to you..."

"So, where should we go, un?"

"Hey, I've never skipped class before, and you're the ninja here, so I guess wherever we won't get caught." I manage to think of the perfect place. "Like behind 's portable!"

"You mean in that little grove of trees there, un?"

I shrug. "It's as good a place as any. No one monitors that area of the school. And I don't want to be anywhere near Tsunade if she finds out you've been breaking the rules again."

"Rules or not, I'll do what I want. That woman doesn't scare me, un," he says coolly as we start walking.

"So how much trouble did you get in earlier, anyway?" I ask as we head out the exit to the back of the campus.

"Not much. I got detention after school today with Hidan. And I had to apologize to Leader-sama, un."

"Detention with Hidan? Sounds like two hours of pure Hell."

He laughs. "Tell me about it. Even being stuck with Sasori would be better. At least he's only annoying HALF the damn time, un."

Reaching the small patch of woods, the two of us wander back into the trees a bit and sit down side by side behind a cluster of bushes that should conceal us from any teachers who actually feel like coming all the way out here into one of the few green places on campus to hunt for kids to yell at. It's actually pretty peaceful back here. It's quiet, secluded, and certainly beats attempting to learn Geometry. And of course I'm alone with Deidara (for once), which is always nice.

He turns to me, smirking darkly, and says, "You say you've never skipped class before, but as soon as I ask you, you suddenly think it's a good idea, un."

I look up at him and smile guiltily. "Maybe because it's YOU asking."

"So now that we're out here, what do you wanna do, un?" He scoots closer to me, still smirking mischievously, and I blush while trying to think of what to say.

"Um...this WAY your idea so...you decide."

"Actually, this WASN'T my idea, un."

"Say wha?"

The spell it feels like he's putting on my ability to think is broken for a moment, so I manage to process what he's saying. "But if this wasn't your idea...then who's was it?"

"A certain meddling, much less cute goth girl, un."

I don't have to think twice to know who he's talking about.

"DAMN IT, TAYLOR!"

"I don't like her meddling either, but I DO like where it's getting us, un."

He smiles, and after hearing him say that, I have to agree I feel the same. "Me too. But isn't she supposed to be keeping you OUT of trouble instead of encouraging you to come out here seeking it?"

"We're not gonna get in trouble, though. I'm a ninja. You REALLY think they could catch me, un?"

"No. I just can't believe Taylor basically gave you permission to go ahead and skip class with me."

"Well, I can. This seems like the only way to hang out with you alone without being interrupted by Hidan or somebody else, un."

"Oh, so you want me all to yourself, then?~" I tease him innocently, which has some unexpected (and very pleasant) results. In a split second, he swiftly takes my chin between his fingers and lifts my face towards him, placing his own just millimeters from mine and breathing "Yes" against my lips. I close my eyes, expecting the perfect kiss, when he pulls away, just as quickly as he caught me.

My eyes fly open again to see him sitting back, gazing at me sexily, apparently more than happy to leave me hanging. Pouting in disappointment, I strike a low blow in an attempt to make him change his mind.

"HIDAN would have kissed me..."

He laughs humorlessly. "Yeah, and Hidan probably would have molested, raped, beaten, killed, or sacrificed you to Jashin by now, un."

"True..." I shiver nervously just thinking about being alone with Hidan. "...Thanks for the almost kiss."

"You know you still liked it, kiss or no kiss, un."

"I'll admit, it WAS still pretty nice...but you owe me one."

"I'll take my time paying you back for that." He changes the subject suddenly. "So, what did I miss this morning, un?"

I pretend the madness that was my 1st period was no big deal.

"Nothing too special. I made a truce with the ginger, Kakuzu gave me money for a strip tease that he didn't get, and Tobi told me the tragic tale of Muffin."

He actually looks taken aback by what I said. "What...what? I don't even know what part of that bothers me the most, un."

Oooh, confused Deidara. I've never seen him perplexed by anything before. This could be fun.

"Welcome to my world. I don't have a clue what to be bothered by these days either, since my life's become completely insane."

"So...what was that part about a strip tease, un?" His sexy demeanor is back, making me flush, since at this point I have NO idea if he's being serious or just kidding around.

"Well, he put money on my desk and said it was a "test," so, since he thought I was a prostitute, I thought he might be, you know...expecting something?"

"And did you give him "something," un?"

"The only thing I GAVE him was his damn money back. Even if I WAS a prostitute, I wouldn't do shit for him, cash or no cash."

Um, I should really stop talking now, before Deidara gets any weird ideas from this discussion of me being a hypothetical stripper/prostitute.

"So if you WERE a prostitute...what would you give ME for a couple bucks, un?"

Too late. Wait...I know a way we could both get what we want.~ Hypothetically, of course.

"Nothing." I smirk at him evilly. "But if you paid me in kisses, I'd give you ANYTHING you ask for."

"Nice try. But you're not a prostitute, so, guess I'll still owe you for a while, un."

I smile sweetly at him. "I can wait."

He grins back at me somewhat smugly, since he's probably planning on making me wait a damn long time. "Good, cause' you KNOW I love keeping people waiting, un."

We stare at each other for a few moments, in a silence that holds an unspoken promise of many interesting things to come during this crazy year. I break it after a few more seconds though, re-stating the question he asked earlier that neither of us actually came up with an answer to.

"So really, your idea or not, what do YOU wanna do now that we're out here?"

He stares off into the distance while pretending to be lost in thought, tapping his chin and saying, "Well, there is this ONE thing..."

"What?"

"This, un," he answers as he wraps an arm around my shoulders just like Hidan did earlier. Except, unlike before, my first instinct isn't to flinch, scream, or run away. I relax into his touch and lay my head against him, smiling.

"I think I know what gave you THIS idea..."

"Yeah, a certain Jashin worshiping dumbass who got a little too "friendly" with you for comfort, un."

"So instead of him, YOU want to be the one who gets to do this?"

He pulls me against himself tighter.

"I told you, I want you all to myself. That means Hidan better keep his hands off, un."

"Well, someone's greedy."

"Like you're not, un?"

I feign surprise and pretend I don't know what he's making a reference to. "Me? Greedy? How so?"

His tone turns slightly accusatory, but not really angry. "You'd go to Hidan just to get a damn kiss, un."

"Okay, that is NOT what I meant when I said that before. I was just trying to make you jealous so that you would kiss me..." I mumble, embarrassed by my earlier words. Seriously, WHY did I think that would work?

"I'm already jealous. Doesn't the fact that I sliced open Hidan's arm prove that, un?"

"Yes...but it doesn't get me a kiss."

"Nope, it doesn't, un."

"Will it make you tell me the "great news" that Hidan was going to tell me before you made him taste kunai?"

He laughs, and thinks for a second. "No. I seriously can't tell you that, as much as I'd love to, un."

"Why?"

"Orders, un."

"Does it involve kidnapping me in some way?" I ask warily, remembering what the ginger said.

"What? Who told you THAT, un."

"Sasori. He said that if I ran away or something that all of you would hunt me down, kidnap me, and drag me back here against my will."

He groans, obviously less than happy with his partner for threatening me. "Damn it, Sasori...NO, we are not kidnapping you. That's not part of the plan. But if you decide to run away, you'll be the one missing out, un."

There's another small pause in our conversation while I try in vain to figure out what this big secret is that all of the Akatsuki (except Hidan) seem determined to torment me with. Sasori and Deidara both make it sound like something that I'll enjoy, but that benefits them too. Hmm...interesting.

I zone out thinking while I enjoy being close to Deidara like this, just the two of us out here all alone, together...wait. I'm something bothered by something.

"Why are we doing this?"

"Doing what, un."

"This."

"What do you mean, un?"

I hesitate a moment before replying. "We're not "going out," so...what is this?"

"I don't know. You tell me, un."

"I don't know either...but I like it."

"Yeah, same here, un."

I could stay like this forever, dating or not, but even though I feel wide awake right now talking to Deidara, apparently my body doesn't, since I suddenly find myself yawning as a result of the extremely early start I got this morning.

He seems amused, jokingly asking me, "Oh, so now you're suddenly bored, un?"

"No! I had to get up at 4 in the morning to make the Fucking Cookies, so I'm just tired from that. Not of you."

" "Fucking Cookies," huh? I'd like a piece of one of those, un."

"I was going to invite you to eat them with us at lunch this morning, BUT, you know, then Hidan showed up and things got kinda crazy," I say as another yawn escapes my lips.

"If you're tired, go to sleep. No one's gonna find us back here, un."

At his words, almost as if on command, my eyelids grow heavy, so I close them as I mumble "Mmmkay..." and start to drift off. Before I fall asleep, though, I remember the revised ending of The Nightmare from this morning, and I give in to a sudden impulse to ask him something.

"Hey...Deidara..."

"What's wrong, un?"

"...Nothing...just...would you save me if you saw I was in danger?..."

"I ALREADY saved you from Hidan this morning. Isn't that enough, un?"

His words put me at ease, proving that the new ending of The Nightmare really was trying to tell me something, and I whisper "Yes" as I fall unconscious, with him protecting me, into a peaceful place where there are no nightmares or dark pasts to haunt me.

* * *

**A/N- Hope you enjoyed! Expect the next update...soooon? I actually have no idea this time. School's already coming up, so that might start getting in the way of my writing soon. I'll just say...3 weeks for now? Maybe. Not too long, I hope. But even if it takes me a while, PLEASE BE PATIENT! I am NOT dead, and I WILL update! Oh, and I'd really appreciate some more nice reviews. :3 **

**Oh, and here's a mini rant based off of another fanfic I'm reading (feel free to skip this if you hate rants): "I'M SORRY" THAT MY CHARACTERS HAVE FEELINGS BESIDES JUST RAGE AND DEPRESSION. "I'M SORRY" MY CHARACTERS CAN BE NICE AND EVEN LOVING AT TIMES. UNLIKE a certain OTHER person who seems to enjoy taking ALL of the Akatsuki and putting them on the same level as Hidan: assholes who do nothing but act like complete and total douchbags. I hate her, and I HATE what she does to the Akatsuki. RWAR. (And if you read that crap and know who I'm talking about: GOOD FOR YOU! You get a cookie ^_^)**


	7. Do You Want A FUCKING COOKIE?

**A/N- ****Hi guys...it's been a while...but OMG I LIIIIIVE! After like, what, a month and a half of not updating?...I'M SO SORRY! _ BUT I SWEAR, I AM NOT DEAD AND I WILL UPDATE MORE FREQUENTLY FROM NOW ON! And hey, wait... *notices Hidan carving my name on a gravestone* **

**Me: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, HIDAN?! **

**Hidan: Huh? *stops carving* Da fuck?! Aren't you dead, bitch?!**

**Me: *facepalm* NO! I JUST said I'm NOT dead! Weren't you listening?!**

**Hidan: *points at readers* Well, THEY thought you were...what was I supposed to think?!**

**Me: *sigh* Good point...I REALLY am sorry for just dropping off the map like that for a while, people. And especially to the handful of new readers that found this story while I was off dealing with life and school and not updating like a horrible person. If you haven't given up on me, thanks for waiting all this time to see what happens next! :D Everyone who's following this story and who reviews it is getting a Fucking Cookie, no questions asked! XD (Seriously guys, some nice reviews would REALLY make my day. :3) **

**Anyway, I have some things to add, but I'll wait until the end of the chapter to mention them. I hope you enjoy, and I REALLY hope this update makes up for my dissappearance from the fanfiction world for so long. :)**

* * *

Here's a fun little fact about me: I'm one of those magical people who, when they fall asleep, can basically stay asleep through pretty much anything. Tornado, hurricane, apocalypse, you name it. So when I AM asleep, you could pretty much do anything to me, and I wouldn't even notice. Which would explain what happened while I was taking my little nap.

As I drift back into consciousness slowly, I make the mistake of thinking I'm back home in my room, sleeping in my bed. This would be point number two: When I'm waking up, I usually don't have a fucking CLUE what's going on.

My eyes flutter open halfway, and instead of the darkness of my room to greet me, I'm faced with bright, mid-afternoon sunlight filtering through a canopy of green leaves. Trees...outside...sunny...you'd think these obvious hints would help me remember. Nope.

I close my eyes and open them again a few times to try to clear my head, but it's not until I realize there's a pair of arms wrapped around me and that I'm laying on something (or someONE) that's certainly NOT my bed that it clicks inside my head what's going on.

Blushing madly, I jerk my head up to look down at a certain Akatsuki member, taking in his sleeping face and the fact that, holy shit, he's completely shirtless underneath me. I squirm in his arms, trying to free myself without waking him, but, him being a NINJA and all, I end up failing miserably. He opens his eye and grins at me while I attempt to escape this incredibly sexy and somewhat awkward position he's put me in.

"Ohayou, un."

I blink at him in nervous confusion, and stop my vain efforts to get away. "O...ohayou. What exactly...happened...while I was asleep?" I ask, flustered and slightly freaked out by the thought of all the things that could have occurred when I was out of it.

"Oh, nothing much. I felt like joining you, so I just made us both more comfortable, un."

"You didn't do anything...weird...right?"

He rolls his one eye that I can see and smirks at me. "What am I, Hidan? Have a little faith in me, Savannah, un."

"Alright, I'm sorry..." I glance down at his bare (and very fine) upper body, noticing the stitched up fourth mouth on the side of his chest that he put my hand over yesterday after 6th. "But...then why aren't you wearing a shirt? Or your cloak?..."

He sweatdrops and gives me a "You're kidding, right?" look. "Because this is Florida, and it's only about 500 degrees out here, un."

"That's true...I guess, you know, I just assumed the worst, waking up on top of an incredibly hot guy who's half naked and has his arms around me," I say jokingly, which encourages him to try more flirting of his own.

"Well, if I'm THAT "incredibly hot," then why don't you follow my lead, un?"

"What do you mean?"

He grins evilly and fingers the bottom of my shirt. "Between the heat of Florida and me, you'd probably feel a LOT better if you took this off, un," he teases me, pretending to roll up my shirt a few inches.

Oh, two can play at this game. I smile sweetly and reply, "Sure, Deidara-KUN. ~ If you'll just let go of me, I'll stand up and give YOU the "strip show" I denied Kakuzu."

He unhands my shirt and laughs, tightening his grip on my body instead. "Nope, I changed my mind. I'd rather stay like this for a while, un."

"Fine, no show for you, then. What time is it, anyway?"

"About halfway through lunch, I think. Why? Aren't you enjoying this, un?"

"Yeah, but..." I suddenly remember the food in my locker and the fact that there's a mini army of crazy people waiting to eat. "SHIT! THE COOKIES! We have to go NOW!" I shout frantically as I try hopelessly to dislodge myself from between Deidara's arms and body.

He doesn't seem like he's letting me go anytime soon, since he's not loosening up his grip a bit, instead saying, "Relax. We still have time before lunch ends, un."

"But we've already been out here HALF that time! We NEED to go!"

"No we don't, un."

"YES, we do, Deidara! Now let me get up!"

Smirking, he replies, "Only if you beg me, un."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me, un."

"Give me ONE good reason why I should do that."

"One: So that I'll actually let go of you sometime today, and Two: Because I'm having too much fun with this, un."

I sigh and glare exasperatedly at him. "Fiiiine. Can I please get up now?"

"That's "asking," not "begging," un."

"PLEASE let me get up."

"THAT'S more like weak pleading than begging, un."

"What's the difference?! It's the same damn thing!" I yell at him, semi-pissed that he's making this so difficult for me. He seems to be enjoying himself, though.

"You're cute when you're angry, un."

"DEIDARA!"

"Getting mad at me isn't going to help you, un."

"Ugh, alright. You want begging, you got it." I clear my throat and give him what I hope is an over-the-top enough performance for him to let me go already.

"Oh, PLEASE, Deidara-SAMA, let me go, I BEG of you to be kind and gracious enough to allow me to feed my poor, starving friends and your teammates."

He thinks to himself for a second, then, deciding it's apparently weak and feble sounding enough, he releases me from his semi-evil clutches. "That works, un."

"THANK YOU," I say, scrambling off of him in a hurry and springing up to my feet, him following my lead. I'm about ready to dash back to my hungry friends since we're running so late, but, of course, Deidara seems like he's planning on taking his sweet time getting across campus. He stretches and leisurely bends down to retrieve his clothes from the ground, making it perfectly clear that he's in NO rush at all (figures).

Before he can put his shirt or cloak back on after he stands, I grab his hand and hurriedly shout at him, "There's no time for that! We gotta go!" I turn to drag him with me, but I'm stopped short by the sight of a long trail of scratch marks down his chest that I somehow didn't notice before. And they look fresh, too.

"Wait...where did you get these?" I ask, running the fingers of my free hand over the injuries. He gives me a look that's somewhere between amusement and pity, and points a finger at me.

"You, un."

"What?...Oh shit, it must have been a nightmare again. I'm so sorry, I didn't even think I was having one this time..."

"Don't we have somewhere to be, un?"

"DAMN IT!" I yell, bolting for the school with Deidara in tow behind me. As we start running, a warm, tingling, almost electrical sensation starts under the skin of a part of my lower neck on the right side, but, guessing I just slept on it wrong or something, I ignore it and keep going.

"I don't blame you for scratching me. It sounded like you had a pretty good reason, un," he calls over the sound of our feet pounding the concrete.

I turn to look back at him. "And what would that be?"

"When you were asleep, you started screaming about the Uchihas and how you'd "never forgive them." You were flailing around so much I had to grab you and hold you down till' it ended, but managed to do this before I calmed you down, un."

"Huh. That explains a lot, then. I am REALLY sorry for hurting you, though."

"Don't be. But tell me," he says seriously, dragging me to a halt all of a sudden. "WHAT did those god-damned Uchihas do to you, un?"

I stare straight ahead at the doors of the school, not turning around to face him, and mumble in a pained monotone, "I told you before...I can't tell you. And it wasn't "Uchihas"...it was only one. But I despise the whole clan, dead or not."

He spins me around to look at him, and I glance up at a furious face that's filled with the same hatred for that clan that I feel. "Savannah, you NEED to tell me. If you give me an excuse to kill them, then I can take revenge for BOTH of us, un."

"But...I never told my mom...Taylor...Champayine...anybody...I can't start with you...now..." Letting go of his hand, I turn and start walking again slowly, whispering over my shoulder, "It's too late anyway..."

I reach for the door handle, but he dashes in front of me and blocks my hand with his. "No. It's not. Now tell me, un."

"Deidara...don't do this now. Can't we talk later?"

"No, now seems like a pretty good time to me, un."

"You sound like Sasori. Impatient as hell."

He jerks his hand back like my words physically slapped him, letting out a groan and mumbling, "Good point. Sorry. But I'm not giving up until you tell me, un."

"Hai, hai, I'll keep that in mind. Now let's go feed the starving little beggars waiting for us," I say, turning the handle and grinning at him. He lightens up again and grins too, getting the door for me as the two of us rush through it down the hall to the "starving little beggars," as I affectionately called my friends and his fellow Akatsuki members who are sitting by the office waiting for us.

* * *

Let's see...as we run up to them, I can tell the crowd's about as large as I thought it would be. Taylor's standing guard by my locker, tapping her foot anxiously and staring at her phone, Champayine and Neji are lost in some lovey-dovey conversation, Itachi's sitting next to them looking bored and emo, Hidan and Katie are animatedly discussing something that can ONLY be horrible and/or perverted, and Tobi's bouncing up and down excitedly trying to tell Sasori something, but I don't think he gives a damn by the way he's scowling.

When we finally show up, though, everyone turns to us and is knocked into a drop-jawed, wide-eyed silence. Oh SHIT. I did not even think about how bad this must look. We fly here out of nowhere 25 minutes late, out of breath, Deidara's not wearing his shirt OR his cloak, and we both basically have the just-fucked look about us. WOW...this really does look bad.

I blush, REALLY wishing that I had put more thought into a better entrance, late or not, when Champ is the first to break the extremely awkward silence. "SAVANNAH'S NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE!" Her and Neji are giving me and Deidara thumbs up and smiling like idiots, and it takes every tiny ounce of willpower I have not to either faint and melt into the floor or grab a kunai and launch it through both of their damn throats for putting me on the spot like this.

Even though that's NOT what we were doing, I can't exactly refute this because, well...I'm NOT a virgin. And mentioning that in front of Deidara would give away the ONE thing I'm currently trying to keep from him at all costs.

Over by my locker, Taylor almost falls over in shock, throwing up her arms and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY VIRGIN, DAMN IT!" Right as she shouts this, the silver haired sensei from this morning walks by and overhears her, much to his surprise. For some reason, he grabs his nose under his mask and runs into the office, mumbling something under his breath like, "She's a student, Kakashi, a STUDENT..."

Katie and Hidan, the mini-Jiraiyas that they are, are the next people to add their two cents on the situation that is CLEARLY spinning out of control here at my expense.

"DAMN! Deidara, you pussy-licking, slut-fucking son of a bitch! SECOND FRIGGIN DAY! That's gotta be like a new world record or something, you lucky bastard!" Hidan yells at Deidara, jumping up with a shit-eating grin and punching him on the arm.

"SHUT UP, HIDAN! I'm not like you, and don't even TRY to put me on the same fucked up level you are, un!"

"Aw, come the fuck on, man! You just NAILED your bitch! Be more fuckin HAPPY!"

"I TOLD you Hidan, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, YOU DUNBASS, UN!"

"What da fuck are you talkin' about? You just got laid, didn't you?!" He looks between us, assessing our conditions, which, even I have to admit, DO look pretty fucked-up. I glare at him and suppress the urge to go crawl in a hole to get away from the false shame he's making me feel, when Deidara shouts back at him, "For the LAST time, NO Hidan! We didn't do anything, no matter what it looks like or what you want to think, un!" He stomps away from Hidan over to the lockers and starts getting dressed, leaving the sex obsessed idiot standing there with a retarded and incredibly confused look on his ugly ass face.

Hidan whirls around back to Katie and calls over to her, "They were SO off in the woods doing the horizontal hula! You owe me five bucks, Katie!"

Oh dear god, or Jashin, or WHATEVER. They were BETTING on us having sex in the woods? With these two, WHY am I not surprised?

Katie jumps up and walks over to me, deciding to make this situation even MORE embarrassing for both of us, asking, "Are you pregnant?"

My mouth falls open in shock, much like everyone else's did earlier. "WHAT?! NO! Didn't you listen to a damn thing Deidara said just now?!" I scream at her, but, just like Hidan, she chooses to ignore my denial, calling back at him, "YOU owe ME ten bucks, Hidan! Now pay up, dick head!"

"Ain't got any money, bitch, so fuck you! YOU PAY UP!"

"I'm broke too, dumbass!"

They stare stupidly at each other for a few seconds, then, it's as if some twisted little thought passes between them telepathically. They both smirk evilly, and Hidan says, "I'll pay you with my art if you pay me with yours." Katie nods, seeming satisfied with their little transaction. "Works for me," she says, and the two of them sit back down to continue drawing god-knows-what inappropriate pornography to pay for the wagers they made that they couldn't even afford in the first place. IDIOTS.

I walk past them and the others, doing my best to ignore the knowing smiles I'm getting from Neji and Champ, who don't blame us at all, whether we did anything or not. As I bend down to open my locker, I overhear Taylor mumble to herself, "Damn...I had no idea my meddling would be THIS effective..."

Grabbing the cookies, I stand up and face her, holding one out and asking, "Wanna help me with these?" She gives me a wary look, and I sense that she's mortified by what it seems like Deidara and I were doing for the past 25 minutes, so I quickly add, "Taylor, thanks for the meddling. But it wasn't THAT effective. We're not Hidan and Katie."

"OR Neji and Champayine," she says, and we both snicker as we unwrap the cookies. I kick my locker closed and try to figure out how many pieces to break this thing into with some shitty mental math. There's 10 of us and two cookies, so this piece of deliciousness needs to be divided into 5 parts. HA! I'm failing geometry, but even I can count!

I split the cookie as evenly as I can, and, exchanging a glance with Taylor, the two of us turn to the crowd, saying with a flourish, "Do you want-" "-A Fucking Cookie?" Everybody cheers, and we head over to the group, me taking the side with Deidara (who's now fully in compliance with the Akatsuki dress code), Tobi, Sasori, and the emo Uchiha.

"Here guys! There's enough for all of you!" I say happily, offering them each a piece, which amazingly, they all accept. Even Sasori and the Uchiha. I sit down and smile, taking the last slice for myself; but before I can enjoy it, a glomp from Tobi catches me off guard.

"YAAAAAY! THANK YOU, SAVANNAH-CHAN! Tobi loves cookies, and I never get to eat them cause' Deidara-sempai says I'm not allowed!" he squeals at me, and Deidara glares at him as he takes a bite of cookie.

"Because you act even MORE like a hyper spaz when you have sugar, un!"

I pat Tobi on the head and say, "As long as you're a good boy, and DON'T annoy Deidara-sempai TOO much, you can have cookies."

"Tobi is a good boy, so Tobi gets cookies!" He points at Deidara and waves his arm spastically. "See! Savannah-chan is nicer than you, sempai! Maybe she should be YOUR sempai and teach you a thing or two!"

He scowls and shoots Tobi a death look, taking another angry bite. "Yeah, yeah, I'm so horrible because I won't let you overdose on sugar. Why don't you take off your mask and eat already if you want it that badly, un?"

"Okay!" He reaches up and starts to remove the mask, causing both Deidara and Sasori to lean forward in some kind of excited anticipation while they nom nom on cookie, but before we can see even a bit of his face, he spins around and hunches over so his front is completely out of view. "MMM! IT'S SO YUMMY!"

They both lean back and groan in dissapointment, Deidara mumbling, "I STILL wanna know what's UNDER that damn thing, un..." under his breath to Sasori, who just replies mysteriously, "Don't we all?"

I shoot them a look of confusion, scooting closer and whispering, "Wait, so none of you have seen Tobi's face before?"

They shake their heads, Sasori swallowing a bite of cookie and answering, "No. Not even our Leader, as far as we know."

"Yeah, but maybe he'd let YOU see his face, since he seems to really like you, un," Deidara says, pointing to me. I consider this for a moment, then, putting on my sweetest smile, I turn and ask in my most adorable, sing-song tone of voice, "Toooobiiii.~ Could you please, please, PRETTY pleaaaaseeee let me see your face? I'll make sure you gets LOTS of cookies, and sugar, and a new Muffin if you doooo.~"

He puts the mask back on and flips around to face me, raising a finger and waving it accusingly at me. "No, no, no, NO! I can't let you see my face, Savannah-chan!"

"Awww.~ But why not?" I ask, pouting and blinking my eyes innocently.

"Because!"

"Because whyyyy?~"

"Because Savannah-chan's NOT a good girl, and you would HAVE to be a good girl for me to let you see!"

"But I AM a good girl, Tobi. PLEASE let me see?"

"No you're not! You and Deidara-sempai did bad things off in the magical forest of sin behind the school, so now you're not allowed!"

I blush at the way he phrased that, and before I can redeem myself, Deidara jumps in to defend both of us. "TOBI! We didn't do anything "bad" while we were out there, and there is no "magical sinful forest" or whatever, so let her see your face, un!"

Tobi shakes his head back and forth wildly, shouting, "Nope, nu-uh, can't do that, no, no, no! You two skipped class, and THAT is very, very bad! Even if you didn't do anything bad in the magical forest of sin like the others said!" He turns back around and resumes eating the cookie in a manner that makes it even harder for us to see anywhere near his uncovered face.

Damn. So much for that plan. The three of us are about to regroup and come up with a new idea when Taylor taps me on the shoulder. "Hey, Savannah, I gotta go see Kakashi. Thanks for the Fucking Cookie."

"Oh, you're welcome. And wait!" I call after her as she turns to walk away. "You have to show everyone the picture on your iPod, or they're not gonna get the joke!"

"Right, hold on..." She pulls it out and taps the screen a few times, then holds it out to me so I can show the Akatsuki.

The joke is simple. It's a one panel comic of an annoyed looking stick figure dude saying, "Do you want a fucking cookie?" The three of them don't seem like they get it (though I think it's pretty clear), so I explain while they finish up eating.

"Okay, so: Taylor showed us this a while back, and all of us were like, "YES I want a Fucking Cookie." It was during the holiday season, so, I went ahead and made a "Fucking Cookie" for everybody as a kind of Christmas present. Ever since, it's just been our group's little inside joke."

They still seem unimpressed and confused, even after my explanation, and I hand the iPod back to Taylor. She takes it and heads down the hall, giving Hidan a hard kick as she goes. He howls and screams at her, "DA FUCK YOU DO THAT FOR, BITCH?!"

Scowling at both him and Katie, she says, "Because the two of you are perverted dumbasses who keep harassing my chibi. And just because I felt like it."

"YEAH BITCH?! Well, maybe I just fuckin' "FEEL" like doing THIS!" he hollers, grabbing his scythe and swinging it at Taylor. She dodges gracefully, smirks at Hidan, then, with no warning, takes her half eaten piece of cookie and runs down the hall to the side office door, flinging it open and dissapearing inside without a second glance back at us.

Oooookay then...don't know what THAT was about. I really wish she hadn't riled Hidan up like that, though, cause' now he'll just HAVE to do something to me in order to defy her orders. UGH.

He looks over at me with a sadistic grin on his ugly face, and, turning back to the three Akatsuki members here that I actually LIKE, I take a big bite of cookie and brace myself for the worst. He scooches over to me and says, "Hey, slut," but I ignore him.

"Oi, slut whore, I'm talking to you!"

Still ignoring him, Deidara steps in to try to get him off my case. "Go away, Hidan! Are you really too stupid to realize that she DOESN'T want to talk to you, un?!"

"Hey, even if she's YOUR bitch, I can still talk to her if I fuckin' want to!"

I turn and give him the ultimate death glare, growling, "WHAT do you WANT, Hidan?"

He raises a hand and stupidly says, "High-five for losing your virginity, slut!" Staring daggers at him, I'm about to refuse his offer; then, an idea hits me.

"If I give you a high-five, even though we did NOTHING while we were out there, will you swear on your immortal life to LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE for the rest of lunch?"

"Sure, whore, whatever the fuck you want!"

Smirking evilly on the inside, I lift my palm and smack it against his with every little ounce of strength I have (which isn't THAT much, but still). Even though I didn't hit him that hard, he recoils as soon as my skin makes contact with his, yelling in pain. "OOOOOOW! JASHIN DAMN IT! THAT FUCKING BURNS!"

All of a sudden, that weird sensation is back on my neck in the same place as before, and, wincing, I rub it with the hand that I just used to whack Hidan with. It's not really painful so much as just plain uncomfortable, kinda like how it feels when you sit on your foot until it falls asleep.

Somehow my amazing high-fiving skills and rubbing my neck are terrifying, because a certain idiot is now staring at me in wide-eyed horror. He glances between Deidara and me in shock, asking him, "So you guys didn't fuck while you were taking your precious time out there, but you did do THAT?"

Deidara smiles to himself, like he's enjoying some private joke. "Maybe, maybe not. The pain in your hand should answer that question, un."

"I don't believe this shit! No one's done THAT but Leader-sama!" He looks at me, absolutely dumbfounded by whatever "that" is, and raises his hand again. I give him a confused glare.

"You want me to high-five you again?"

"NO! I mean, yeah, kinda, I guess. Just put your fucking hand to mine again."

"Uh, I don't think that's such a great idea..." I mumble warily, glancing at Deidara for a hint of what to do here.

He smirks and nods, saying, "Go on. You don't need my permission to hurt him, un."

"Alright," I answer, gently pressing my palm against Hidan's, with the same super freaky results. He cries out in pain, waving his hand around and cursing like there's no tomorrow, while that damn spot on my neck suddenly acts up again. I press my hand over it to try to make it stop, which alarms Sasori, who asks me, "Savannah, can you lift your hand please? I need to check something."

"Huh? Yeah, sure," I murmur as I remove it, causing him and Tobi to practically jump up with shock at what they see. "I knew it...you really did use "THAT"..." he says darkly to Deidara, who just shoots him a self-satisfied look. Tobi pokes my neck and giggles, although I don't see what's so amusing.

I turn to Deidara for answers, since he seems to be the cause of all this sudden panic. "So...care to explain what exactly this "THAT" thing is that you all keep talking about?"

"Sure. When you feel like telling me what the Uchihas did to you, un."

"I already told you, I CAN'T tell you that."

"No. Remember what you said before we came in here? You said we'd "talk later," un."

"No, I asked you if we could talk later, but I promised you NOTHING."

The bell for 5th rings, saving each of us from having to interrogate the other about some deep, dark secret that neither of us appear to be in any hurry to divulge. We all stand and gather our things, but an impassive veil seems to have been drawn between Deidara and I out of nowhere due to my dark past and whatever this "THAT" thing is that he's suddenly bent on keeping from me.

Champ kills the icy silence for us, calling over to me with a huge smile on her face, "Come on, Savannah, we have to go! Kiss your BOYFRIEND goodbye and get over here!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" I yell back at her and turn to Deidara, blushing embarrassedly. He gives me that sexy look of his, and I playfully smile at him and say, "BUT, boyfriend or not, I WOULD tell you for a kiss.~"

"Then I guess I don't get to find out yet, un." He turns to go, but grins at me and adds, "Thanks for the cookie, by the way, un," before starting off with the others for wherever-the-hell their 5th class of the day is. Sasori and Tobi follow his example and thank me as they head off after him, which makes me happy; although the damn Uchiha doesn't say ONE FUCKING WORD of gratitude as he slinks off shadowing them, which makes me FAR less than happy.

In fact, it pisses me off so much that I could Hulk smash through an innocent desk the way Tsunade did earlier, but I count to ten inside my head and let it go. Seriously, only an Uchiha could be so emo and just plain friggin' RUDE after eating a Fucking Cookie baked with epicness and love.

I spin back to the last of the crowd, noticing that a certain Jashin-worshiping baka is still here, making a last minute porn deal with Katie. Which gives me a bit of a cruel little idea for how to get back at that idiot...

"Hey, Hidan!" I shout, walking over to him as he shuffles some papers between him and Katie.

"WHAT, SLUT? Can't you see I'm fuckin' busy here?"

I shoot him an evil grin, but he's too caught up in what he's doing to notice. "You know the bell rang, right?"

"So?! What's your point, bitch?!"

"My point is..." I reach up in ridiculously slow motion while he's not looking and very deliberately poke his cheek. "...don't you have somewhere to be?~"

My newly acquired powers don't fail me now, thank god/Jashin, and he howls in pain, dropping the papers he was holding all over the floor and hopping around like the dumbass he is while he cradles his cheek. Oh, that felt GOOD.

My small but sweet revenge accomplished, I smile at Neji and Champ, who are both laughing their asses off, along with Katie. "Finger-to-the-Face no Jutsu! That's your special attack now Savannah!" Champ says to me between fits of laughter.

"I'm not sure if it counts as a "jutsu," but it certainly seems effective!" Neji adds, sending the two of them into another fit of laughter that I can't help but join in on.

SOMEONE'S not finding this as hilarious as we are, though. "HEY, SHUT THE FUCK UP, GUYS! You think this shit is FUNNY?!" he yells, pointing to the spot on his face where I poked him.

There's nothing there, not even a little mark, so Katie replies, "What, your face? That shit IS pretty funny, man." This sets us all off again at Hidan's expense, which pisses him off to the point that he makes a noise of anger that sounds like a cat getting raped up the ass as he scoops up the scattered porn and, literally, stomps off to catch up with the others, cursing up a storm the WHOLE way.

My one thought as the rest of us walk away, STILL laughing, is how badly I wish Deidara and Taylor could have seen that. Those two would be PROUD...

* * *

**Taylor**

"Miss Wagner...er, Taylor," Kakashi began, looking over to the girl who had just arrived and made herself at home by crashing on his couch yet again.

"Mmmyeah? What is it?" she asked between a mouthful of sugar and chocolate.

"Why, exactly, are you half an hour late? And...why do you have a giant piece of cookie with you?"

She took another bite and glanced up at him boredly. "Because my meddling worked a little too well, and because it's delicious."

He put his book down and observed her eating, suddenly interested by her responses. "I see. And I DID warn you about meddling this morning, did I not?"

She nodded while gnawing on the cookie and met his gaze with her poker face. "Yep. You did."

"Yet, you didn't listen."

"Nope. Those two needed my help, and they got it, whether they liked it or not. Though I'm pretty sure they did..."

Her voice dropped to a low whisper with those last words, but due to his incredibly acute ninja sense of hearing, Kakashi could make out what she said clearly all the way on the other side of the small office. He smiled slightly under the cover of his mask as she was momentarily lost in thought. "Did they, now? Then maybe your meddling is more like matchmaking."

She jerked her head up, shocked that he had heard her and at what he said. Her? Taylor Wagner, some kind of helpful, matchmaking Cupid? HELL NO. She did meddling, and that's it. If something good came out of it for the victims, then good for them.

"Whatever, Kakashi. Let's just get this stupid call done so I can go back to babysitting the Akatsuki for you and Tsunade."

"Right. Sorry." He typed her name in to the system and pulled her school record up on his computer, scrolling down until he found her home's daytime number. "Here it is."

He picked up the receiver to his office phone and read the number on the screen, but was distracted before he could dial it, glancing up at Taylor and asking, "You know, that cookie smells heavenly. Would you mind...sharing, maybe?"

She stopped eating for a moment and glared at him incredulously. "Are you kidding? No way. This is MY Fucking Cookie, and I am NOT giving it to you."

"Just a bite? Please? And language, Taylor."

"Hey, that's what it's called. And NO, you can't."

"I haven't eaten all day, you know. Tsunade doesn't let me take snack breaks."

"Really? That's too bad," she replied coolly, taking yet another bite of cookie. He could tell this was a pretty much hopeless fight, so he sighed and gave up on his one chance at eating until he got home. "Never mind. I'll make the call now," he said tiredly, picking up the receiver and punching in her number.

He waved her over with his free hand and told her as it rung, "It's on speaker phone, so even if you don't talk, I still expect you to listen." She wandered across the office and groaned, leaning against his desk.

"Fine. But this isn't gonna go well for either of us, I can promise you that."

"Oh, how bad could it possibly be?"

"Give it a second..." she mumbled, staring at the phone cautiously as if it was about to come to life and bite Kakashi's hand off. After another few rings, the line on the other end clicked to life, and the two of them were instantly assaulted by a barrage of cursing mixed with ranting from a woman that almost managed to make Hidan look tame.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU WANT! IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON, AND I'M PRETY FUCKING BUSY, SO IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, YOU BETTER SAY IT NOW AND SAY IT QUICK!"

Kakashi was completely caught off guard by the outburst from the other end, and nearly dropped the phone in shock. Taylor, on the other hand, was not only prepared for it, but had been eagerly awaiting her mom's reaction, bursting into a fit of uncontrollable laughter at his expense.

"TAYLOR! IS THAT YOU?! What the HELL have you done THIS time?!"

She stopped laughing long enough to answer her terrifying parent, smirking at Kakashi while she said, "Yeah, who ELSE would it be at this time of day? And I think Kakashi here can tell you, since it was HIS idea to bother you."

The voice on the other end grew ever so slightly less angry, now shouting more from confusion and annoyance. "Kakashi? Who the fuck is that?! I wanna talk to Tweedy!"

Kakashi took this as his cue to say something, clearing his throat and awkwardly attempting to re-start the conversation in a more professional manner. "Good afternoon, Miss Wagner. My name is Hatake Kakashi, and I'm-"

"LOOK, SHIT FOR BRAINS: I SAID I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE IF YOU'RE NOT TWEEDY. GOT IT?! I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME FOR THIS GOD-DAMNED CHAT RIGHT NOW, AND I'M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD TO HEAR-"

Click. The room feel silent as Kakashi calmly returned the phone to its receiver, successfully hanging up on Taylor's crazy-ass mom and cutting off the end of her psycho rant. "Got it," he said to the now dead line while Taylor laughed her ass off yet again at his shock and discomfort, since her parent basically just reached through the line and tried to snap his neck with her uncontrollable anger.

Kakashi sighed in exasperation and gave her a minute to finish, then, when she was FINALLY done, he looked over at her and warily asked, "So...what, exactly, is your mother's occupation anyway?"

She couldn't keep a straight face as she turned back to him and answered, "She's a preschool teacher."

It took him a moment to process what she was saying as he sat there, attempting vainly to piece together the homicidal Hidan/Tsunade sounding woman that he was just verbally assaulted by over the phone with the stereotypical sweet, loving, kind preschool teacher. He couldn't do it, staring blankly at Taylor in a numb state of shock mixed with misbelief.

"You are kidding, right?...Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope. Look it up in my file or whatever if you don't believe me." She gestured toward the computer with a jerk of a thumb before stepping back across the small office and crashing on the couch again, letting out a rather large yawn. "Now, since THAT shit's out of the way, I think I'll take a nap. Night' Kakashi."

And with that, almost instantly, she passed out, still clutching the last of the cookie in her left hand, leaving a very dazed and confused Kakashi to sit there wondering what the fuck just happened.

"Um...okay then...goodnight," he murmured to himself as he picked his book back up and resumed where he left off when she had arrived. It was one of his favorite scenes that he had read hundreds of times, in which the main characters have lunch under the sakura blossoms and then do various things of unspeakable nature right in the middle of a public park. Normally, this was the part of the book that he couldn't tear himself away from, regardless of if he was training Team 7, shopping, bathing, eating, or whatever else he was supposed to be doing.

But for once, it just truly didn't have the same appeal as always, and he found himself casting glances across the room every few seconds at the young woman now sleeping almost peacefully on his couch, minus the fact that she was still gripping the last of the cookie with white knuckles and grumbling in her state of unconsciousness about Hidan leaving her chibi alone or she swears to god she will kick the living dog shit out of him.

Kakashi felt pity for her being so restless even in her dreams, but he felt pretty damn bad for himself too as his stomach loudly grumbled from a distinct lack of food. He was famished, and the scent of the cookie still permeated the air, driving him to desperate measures that only a starving man would take.

In a split second decision that could either be considered very brave or foolish, he impulsively thought to himself, _"She's asleep and obviously out of it, so now would be the perfect time to just walk over there and take the rest of that cookie for myself."_

This, unfortunately for him, wasn't one of Kakashi's better ideas. He stood up and dashed across the room stealthily to where Taylor was lying asleep, gazing down at her as he reached out painfully and meticulously slowly to pry the cookie from her grip. Thinking it would be simple and harmless (and being horribly wrong), he wrapped his fingers around it and lightly tugged, expecting it to easily come free.

As he pulled on it, her extremely acute ninja-like reflexes kicked in, causing her (even in her sleep) to grab and flip him over onto the couch underneath her, pinning him with her still sleeping body as she growled something else about Hidan and ass kicking.

"_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,"_ he frantically repeated inside his head as he lay trapped and unable to do anything. _"How do I get out of THIS one?"_

All of a sudden, whatever dream or nightmare she was having shifted to something else entirely. She smiled in her sleep, somewhat girlishly, and mumbled to who he presumed was him, "...hey...you know, if you take off your mask, I'd take off ANYTHING you wanted~..."

Underneath his mask, a waterfall of blood instantly spurted from his nose, and he screamed at himself, _"STUDENT! She. is. a. STUDENT! Must...not...listen!"_

Somehow, he managed to twist himself out from under her without waking her, leaving the cookie in her now much looser grip and scrambling back over to his desk to grab a handful of tissues and shove them under his mask to keep him from drowning in a river of his own blood. And, also, to make sure none of it bled through his mask and gave him away when Taylor woke up.

But, even if she DID see he had a nosebleed, he could always just blame it on his book and use that as an excuse. Probably. Except, he knew neither of them was stupid enough to actually believe that if he tried. He collapsed back in his chair, exhausted, and waited with book in hand for the bell to ring, which would finally give him some privacy and the chance to think clearly.

Being around this girl was clearly very, very unhealthy for him. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to dismiss her when she came strolling through his door.

After a few more minutes, the bell for 5th rang, successfully waking up Taylor and causing her to rise with a relaxed stretch, completely oblivious to the chaos that she caused. "Well, that was a nice nap. Had some WEIRD dreams though..."

She took notice of the fact that he was sitting there staring cautiously at her like she was about to grab him or something while she stood up to go. "Kakashi? What's up? You seem really weirded out all of a sudden."

"Erm, it's nothing. You should get to class," he said flustered, not looking at her as she turned to go. She eyed him suspiciously, but brushed it off as some thing that didn't concern her in any way, shape, or form whatsoever.

"If you say so, but it doesn't seem like "nothing" to me..." she commented mysteriously as she opened the door and left for the time being, finally giving a very leud ninja the chance to consider that, student or not, he would enjoy taking her up on that offer to show her just what's underneath his mask...

* * *

**A/N- So, I have NO idea if that made up for the super long wait, but I REALLY hope it came close if it didn't. :)**

**Okay. First off, I have a comment on the timeline of this fic: YES I KNOW IT'S REALLY SCREWY AND DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE! What I mean by that is, the first 8 chapters take place over just the first TWO days. DERP. O_o I REALLLLLY didn't plan that out well (and if you didn't notice that, or it didn't bother you, then THANK JASHIN FOR THAT XD). The next chapter is actually going to be Part 2 of this one because I couldn't finish writing Chapter 7 as soon as I wanted to get it uploaded. That, and the fact that I was rushed to upload SOMETHING since Taylor was going to kill me if I didn't update. _ I SWEAR after the next chapter, events shall progress at a more normal pace of days to weeks to months between important points in everybody's school year. **

**Second, YOU ALL NEED TO CHECK OUT NinjaSakuraHyuuga's (Champ-chan's) STORIES! She's been updating a lot lately, and they are AWESOME! (especially Fangs and Love, which is my favorite :3)**

**Third, remember that contest I mentioned a while back? Yeah, that's off now...BECAUSE, Katie-chan's decided to draw it for me for free. I AM SO HAPPY. XD I really doubt anyone was perverted and bored enough to enter that anyway...meh.**

**Alright, I'm done talking now! ^_^ The last thing I need to mention is updates, which I'm going to REALLY push myself to make frequently and quickly from now on. School's been easy so far this year, and I don't really have too much going on, so I don't have an excuse not to. And like I said before, Taylor WILL come to my house, break in, and put a kunai to my throat until I update if I take too long, so if THAT'S not inspiration, I don't know what is! Bye guys! :D (and just pray that I don't get lazy again XD)**


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